pro5 Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 I'm 27 and she's 20 we have been together for about a year now, I never intended or even wanted to fall for someone so young, but love works in strange ways. Why is it when you first start dating and flirting, women have the tendencies to make themself something they are not. My fiancie lend me to believe that she very emotional, and very physical. I had not been dateing for 2yrs and was ready for a new relationship, I made a list in my head what I wanted out of someone, I was tired of getting hurt and used, so I got my list and went out looking for just that. I found everything and more that I wanted in her. Everything was great, we went a little fast, we started stay the night with each other after a month or so. And with in 3 months we where living together. A while back she started be less and less of what I wanted, I chalked it up to the stress at her new job. Then it got worse I chalked this up to the Zolof the doctors put her on. The other day we where descussing our relationship, and she tells me that alot of what orginaly atracted me to her, was just part of the (For lack of better terms) "advertisement, and puppy love" That "all women do to get the man they want, when they first start dateing." And this is more like the real her. I don't love her any less for this, infact I still love her more and more each day, and she says the samething about me. Basically is there any advise to help me put the spark back in our relationship. I put her on a pedistal, and would do anything for her. But now she wants me to be less physical, I dont think I'm asking for to much, I'm fine with only haveing sex once a week. But its more like once every 3 weeks. I think nothing of laying on the couch watching tv and kissing the back of her neck or sneak a feel just to be cute and get a reaction out of her. But she says its to much. Am I living in a dream world, is this more like what a relationship is really like? We act more like we have been married for 10yrs then dateing for 1yr and engaged for 2 weeks. I sometime think its me for every sereous relationship I have been in this has happen. I honestly believe that my expectaions of what a relationship should be are to high. She admits that there is a problem she said she can't get turn on right now, even watching porn doesn't do anything for her, we both believe that its the Zolof. So what should I do, I am here for the long haul and I will take what ever road I need to go down to spend the rest of my life with this women.
tokyo Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Hm, I like hugging and cuddling I´m really into this. And I would like to have a boyfriend who is as affectionate as well. Your fiancée is strange. I think it´s normal that you present your best side when you start dating someone, but I don´t think you completely change your personality just in order to attract someone. Nobody does.
moimeme Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Why is it when you first start dating and flirting, women have the tendencies to make themself something they are not It's not just women. Men do it, too. Most folks do that. Everybody wants to put their best foot forward at the beginning of a relationship. It's normal to want to find common ground with somebody else. Anti-depressants are famous for wrecking libido. Will she be on it long-term? Can you both talk to her doc? I understand there are some anti-depressants which are not as hard on the sex drive.
Butchey Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 "And this is more like the real her" Who did you fall in love with? The fake her? You need to voice your concerns before it's too late. She will take advantage of you in all areas if you give up now. You idelas are good to want to make her happy but don't make yourself miserable in the process.
Craig Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Zoloft can be a nightmare for some people. I kknew someone who went on it and became a totally different person. This once kind, caring person became aggressive, angry, slept most of the day and other bad stuff. Of course some people seem to do well on Zoloft too. Here's a quote from a recently filed lawsuit... Pfizer Conceals Evidence and Misleads Doctors and Patients About Safety and Effectiveness of Zoloft - Private Attorney General Steps in Because FDA Has Failed California Consumers Los Angeles, California, July 23, 2004 -- Antidepressant litigation attorney Karen Barth Menzies and her partner, Ronald Goldman, filed suit today alleging Zoloft-maker, Pfizer, misled physicians and the public regarding Zoloft's safety and efficacy, particularly with regard to suicidality and withdrawal symptoms caused by the drug's use. Today's consumer protection lawsuit was filed in Superior Court in downtown Los Angeles (case number BC318871). The suit details Pfizer's actions and omissions that downplayed Zoloft's risks and exaggerate Zoloft's alleged benefits. Pfizer did so, the complaint alleges, by suppressing evidence concerning: (1) Zoloft's lack of efficacy compared to placebos in treating conditions for which Zoloft is prescribed; (2) Zoloft's propensity to induce withdrawal and dependency; (3) the risk of increased suicidal and violent impulses in adult, child and adolescent Zoloft users; and (4) Zoloft's causing other side effects such as convulsions and psychosis. The best place to get other patients feedback on Zoloft is to do a google search on groups. Try zoloft problems or zoloft side effects or Zoloft nightmare, etc.. Here are some links to some negative information on Zoloft. Regarding Suicides, etc. and Zoloft http://groups.google.com/groups?q=zoloft&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&selm=8gkvpn%242kbn%241%40pencil.math.missouri.edu&rnum=2 Judge finds that Zoloft caused husband to murder wife http://groups.google.com/groups?q=zoloft&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&selm=9elmkm%24qka%240%40dosa.alt.net&rnum=5 One persons side effects from Zoloft. http://groups.google.com/groups?q=zoloft+problems&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&selm=3ca7a806.106392%40news.tpg.com.au&rnum=12
savethedrama4allama Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 I have had friends on Zoloft and it took away ALL of their desire for anything sexual. Cuddling, I don't know. That may play a role too. I would chalk a lot of it up to the medication though, its a very valid possibility. Is she going to be taking the antidepressant long-term?
pro5 Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 I'm not sure if she going to be on it for a long time or not. To be honest I have never had expirience with Zolof or anything like it before. She went to the doctor when she had a few panic attacks that lasted a day or so. And he just gave the medicine to her, without much questioning. She has done great with the attacks since I would say she could go off of them. There was some family things and job things that where going on at the time but its all over now.
Recommended Posts