StillHurtin Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 My H filed for a D b4 he had the A (so he says). I called my mil and told her that her son had filed for a D. At the time I had no idea aof the A. About a week or two after he filed I heard rumors he was having an A. I called my mil and told her (she lives out of state, couldn't tell her in person). Maybe she didn't need to know, maybe I shouldn't of told her, but I wanted her to know that her precious, perfect son wasn't so perfect and precious like she thought he was. She of course denied it, her son being her only child, he could never do something like that, "I didn't raise him like that." she said. Well, I couldn't get her to realize he was having an A b/c I didn't really have any proof at the time. Another few weeks past and the OW's H showed up at my doorstep wanting to talk. He showed me a picture of the OW's car and my H's truck sitting next 2 eachother in her garage. I knew it was H's truck b/c the OW's H took a picture from behind and I seen H's personalized license plate. So after he left I immediately called my mil and told her I knew for sure he was messing around. She of course still couldn't believe it. She kept telling me she didn't raise him like that, he could never do that to me and his children. At that point I got pi$$ed. She needed to know what a jerk her perfect son was being. So I raised my voice (and I have NEVER raised my voice at my mil b4) and said "I have proof he is having an A! I have seen a picture of their vehicles parked 2gether in her garage and her H just told me he seen their vehicles parked at a motel room. He called the front desk and asked for their room number. The clerk asked him if he wanted to ring their room and he said no, and left." I think she was in shock after that, she didn't say anything. After she accepted that her son was a cheating loser I told her over the phone that one of these days I am sure she will meet the OW. She said she wasn't going to like it and basically said she will have to deal w/ it. Ok, my ds is only 10 1/2, but if he EVER has an A on his W and he was to bring her over to meet me there is no way in HE!! he will be bringing that tramp to my house! I would still love my ds but I wouldn't except his OW GF into my house.
ithappenedtome Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Yes!! It happened to me! We were not married, but, I was pregnant with his baby! I was 19, he was 26. We had dated for about 1 yr, and I found out I was pg. I have a condition where I could not take bcp, and told him so. He said, well, if u do get pg (I don't think he thought it would happen), we will be a family. So, lo and behold, I became pg, and scared out of my mind! He was so happy about it (or so he made it seem), and wanted everyone to know! His friends, our friends, and his dad were really happy for us. Fast forward 1 month. I was looking for a piece of paper, and saw his work notebook on the counter, so, I opened it to get a piece. Yep, I found another woman's name and phone #. I asked him about it, and he said, oh, she's just a friend of a friend. So, stupid as I was, I believed him, at first. A day or so later, I was talking to a friend I worked with, and they said she thought my bf and this same OW were sleeping together. She said the OW (not really a woman, she had just turned 18), was buying condoms and said, well, *****(my bf who I was pg by), doesn't like to use condoms. Ohhh, I was PO'd! Went straight home and confronted him. He denied it, of course. Fast forward about 2 weeks. He comes home from work and says he can't take care of me and he wants me to leave and go live with my mother (2 hours away). I told him I didn't want to leave, but, it was no use. He wanted me out, and right then! God, I begged and begged him to let me stay. I guess I sound like an idiot, but, I was really really hurting. He didn't take care of me anyway! I took care of myself, his house, his dog, and worked to pay his bills. That same day was when his father was to move into the apartment nextdoor. I waited for him for as long as I could, thinking maybe he could stop this, but, his ride was late, and he didn't get there until I was gone. His father asked my baby's dad where I was. He said at her mother's. His dad asked when I was coming back, he said he didn't know. His dad called me in a fury, and asked what the he!! was going on. I told him that his son threw me out, and he was so mad. He tried to tell his son to come to his senses and get me back there, but, my bf told his father it was his life, and he would do as he chose. The next day, bf's father calls and tells me that a strange car is in the driveway. Yep, it was the OW's. His dad was so mad. He has since passed away, but, was a great grandpa to my little one. He actually told me he disowned his son because of what he did to me. The OW ended up telling my ex-bf she couldn't have kids, got pg, he stayed. Said he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. Yea, ok, like it made me feel any better. There is much more pain to the story, but, it helped to know that his dad believed in me. I am really sorry that your H's mother is willing to accept his OW in her house! I feel the same about our son together. He is 7 1/2, and I make sure he respects women, and will do everything to assure he won't do that to anyone!
rgpgdg Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 when my husband had the one night stand part of me wanted to tell the world what a worthless piece of sh.. he was but i also didn't feel like it was any of their business. were you and his mother really close. i don't think i could do what you did. for one thing i would feel like i was telling his mommy on him and no matter what that is her son. maybe she would have rather heard it from him. are you done with this marriage? its hard for parents to see their child's mistakes but when they do they are more easy to forgive them. she won't ditch her son because of it or who he brings to the house. i know your probably hurt right now but i don't think telling his mom is going to help anything except for the small satisfaction that you were not the messed up one that screwed up the marriage. i'm also sure your husband isn't going to like it much when he find out you told his mom on him......no offense but it really isn't any of her business. i do know how angry you feel and what would make you want to just ruin his life.....
militarywife Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Yes..I was staying with them when I found out. They were completely appalled and could not believe he would do such a thing. They were more concerned about my well being than his and I will NEVER forget that. I have been truly blessed with amazing in-laws. His mom wanted to fly over there with me to rough him up a bit
rgpgdg Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 wow you guys have amazing in-laws........i guess i just don't want my husband to look bad to his family and mine especially. families never do look at the husband or wife the same way after something like that. although i have to give it to you people they need to look bad. maybe it makes them more accountable for their actions. i'm glad the in-laws stood by you guys. i don't think mine would. for one i don't know her very well and they are a family that what goes on in your marriage stays in your marriage.
Author StillHurtin Posted September 15, 2004 Author Posted September 15, 2004 Originally posted by rgpgdg when my husband had the one night stand part of me wanted to tell the world what a worthless piece of sh.. he was but i also didn't feel like it was any of their business. were you and his mother really close. i don't think i could do what you did. for one thing i would feel like i was telling his mommy on him and no matter what that is her son. maybe she would have rather heard it from him. are you done with this marriage? its hard for parents to see their child's mistakes but when they do they are more easy to forgive them. she won't ditch her son because of it or who he brings to the house. i know your probably hurt right now but i don't think telling his mom is going to help anything except for the small satisfaction that you were not the messed up one that screwed up the marriage. i'm also sure your husband isn't going to like it much when he find out you told his mom on him......no offense but it really isn't any of her business. i do know how angry you feel and what would make you want to just ruin his life..... Thanks for replying. Yes, my H's mother and I are pretty close. At the time, when I told her, I was so hurt, and so angry w/ him that I just wanted to proove to her that what he did wasn't "perfect" like she always brought him out to be. It is a long story about what went on and everything she did by sticking up for my H when things were going bad. The A was over a year ago. My H broke it off w/ the OW. After I moved almost 2 hours away w/ our children he realized how much he missed us, loved us, and didn't want to be away from us. I couldn't give up on 12 years of marriage not knowing what the future held for us. I can't really remember if H told her about the A. I don't think he did, but did admit to it later. Maybe I shouldn't of told her, he should of. And you are so right. No matter what dh does she wont disown him, he is her only son. My dh already knows I told his mom about that A. He wasn't mad. I guess he figured I was going to do it anyhow.
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