Necris Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Yep, I think I found the problem I'm a dumba**. This doesn't happen all the time but I have a tendency to destroy my own approaches with sheer stupidity. Take yesterday for example, I just happen to meet this 6'2" athletic looking girl in a elevator I make a corny sounding joke and she laughs a little then out of all the things I ask her is if she's plays sports (not professionally of course, but for fun) she surprisingly says no, and the elevator stops for me to get out but I can't remember saying anything back to her like a dummy (took me a few minutes to realize then I felt like slapping myself in the face). Then later that night I went out with my friends to go watch another friend's coed soccer game and lo and behold I see her there with a female and a male friend just sitting a few feet from where we are sitting (judging by how they were seated I highly doubt the dude is her boyfriend), then all of a sudden I'm too afraid to talk to her or just say hello like a dummy. I've had numerous bad approaches before, and this is only shooting me in the foot. Now occassionaly my approaches are good (at least to me, they went well enough I can't think of a thing I did wrong) just the girl isn't into me.
AlexDP Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Yep, I think I found the problem I'm a dumba**. This doesn't happen all the time but I have a tendency to destroy my own approaches with sheer stupidity. Take yesterday for example, I just happen to meet this 6'2" athletic looking girl in a elevator I make a corny sounding joke and she laughs a little then out of all the things I ask her is if she's plays sports (not professionally of course, but for fun) she surprisingly says no, and the elevator stops for me to get out but I can't remember saying anything back to her like a dummy (took me a few minutes to realize then I felt like slapping myself in the face). Then later that night I went out with my friends to go watch another friend's coed soccer game and lo and behold I see her there with a female and a male friend just sitting a few feet from where we are sitting (judging by how they were seated I highly doubt the dude is her boyfriend), then all of a sudden I'm too afraid to talk to her or just say hello like a dummy. I've had numerous bad approaches before, and this is only shooting me in the foot. Now occassionaly my approaches are good (at least to me, they went well enough I can't think of a thing I did wrong) just the girl isn't into me. That's not too bad. At least you were bold enough to talk to her in the first place. 4
MidwestUSA Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Do you learn a little bit from every encounter? Do you recognize what could have gone differently? That's what counts!
Author Necris Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Do you learn a little bit from every encounter? Do you recognize what could have gone differently? That's what counts! No not really (alot of the time I usually can pinpoint anything I did wrong) only in situations when I feel like I'm really being an idiot, like the OP.
Author Necris Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 That's not too bad. At least you were bold enough to talk to her in the first place. I guess. For other people that maybe a good thing for me however just simply being bold enough to talk to girls isn't going to cut it.
Author Necris Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 I probably need to try to focus less on consequences.
outsidethebox Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 well the issue isn't you, you talked to her which I wouldn't even have the wherewithall to ask something that made sense like do you play sports. And I'm sure a lot of others wouldn't do any better. Thinking about this, I guess there are only two possible good outcomes talking to someone you ran across: you are no longer a stranger should you see her again, or figuring out how to talk to her again (which implies in the process she's not opposed to the thought). I probably have always figured I might see them again and that almost never happens. The second option is a logistical nightmare - figuring out if she's single, willing to speak to you, and then willing to tell you how you can speak to her again. There's a 30 second "elevator pitch" that startup entrepreneurs practice to pitch their startup business. I suppose a guy could develop an "elevator pitch" for any girl unlucky enough to be in an elevator or close quarters with him for a few seconds. I don't know what else you could do running across a girl for a few seconds that you would like to meet. I just don't think the dating issue is you at all. 1
Radu Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Yep, I think I found the problem I'm a dumba**. This doesn't happen all the time but I have a tendency to destroy my own approaches with sheer stupidity. Take yesterday for example, I just happen to meet this 6'2" athletic looking girl in a elevator I make a corny sounding joke and she laughs a little then out of all the things I ask her is if she's plays sports (not professionally of course, but for fun) she surprisingly says no, and the elevator stops for me to get out but I can't remember saying anything back to her like a dummy (took me a few minutes to realize then I felt like slapping myself in the face). Then later that night I went out with my friends to go watch another friend's coed soccer game and lo and behold I see her there with a female and a male friend just sitting a few feet from where we are sitting (judging by how they were seated I highly doubt the dude is her boyfriend), then all of a sudden I'm too afraid to talk to her or just say hello like a dummy. I've had numerous bad approaches before, and this is only shooting me in the foot. Now occassionaly my approaches are good (at least to me, they went well enough I can't think of a thing I did wrong) just the girl isn't into me. Look on the bright side. At least you didn't get up during the game, went over to her from behind them, approached stealthily and said in a raspy voice in her ear 'remember me ?'. You should have went to her from below [so she could see you coming], then noticed her and go 'ahhhh', then tell her 'hey, i was a bit of a dumbass earlier and forgot to ask for your number, what is it ?'.
Radu Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Maybe I'm just being hard on myself. That's a good thing. Most ppl are not hard on themselves, so they don't improve. The key is not to be so hard on yourself that you automatically believe that you will never stand a chance.
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