annabelle26 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I have this guy friend. We've been friends about a year. He initiates all contact and meetups. He literally contacts me for hours every single day by call or text or email. He tells.me he loves me sometimes but will always randomly say we are no more than friends (not that I ask) I'm confused as to what he is thinking because he tells me we talk to much but that he doesn't want it to change, he acts jealous when I date someone but then when I'm single will tell.me about his dating life. He reiterates that he doesn't want to be more than friends to the point that I almost feel offended because I never enquire anyway. Recently when we've met up (arranged by him) he's acted really disinterested and preoccupied And I think maybe he's finally bored of this whole deal, but then he will contact me straight after we leave saying it was great to see me when shall we meet again and so on. What does he want from me?? I'm not and will never be a friend with benefits kind of girl and he knows that. But he's never tried anyway. Opinions welcome. Thanks.
will1988 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I am guessing you are on the younger side Annabelle, high school or early college, perhaps? To me it is clear he likes you. The reason he says all of that stuff about being friends but acts differently is because he likes you and is afraid that you do not like him in that way. He does not want to lose you if you were to find out he still likes you. It is stupid, but he is young and wants you in his life someway. You date other people and not him, and that probably hurts him. He has also told you his feelings before and you've shot them down. He is hoping that by remaining your friend, one day you will see him the same way he sees you, and give him a chance as more than friends. I know, because I've been in this situation before as the guy. However, now that I'm older, I don't play those sorts of games. If you are not into me, fine, but don't expect me to listen to your problems for hours. lol:-P. Your "friend" / amirer may come to that realization, if he isn't already coming to that realization now.
Author annabelle26 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 I am guessing you are on the younger side Annabelle, high school or early college, perhaps? To me it is clear he likes you. The reason he says all of that stuff about being friends but acts differently is because he likes you and is afraid that you do not like him in that way. He does not want to lose you if you were to find out he still likes you. It is stupid, but he is young and wants you in his life someway. You date other people and not him, and that probably hurts him. He has also told you his feelings before and you've shot them down. He is hoping that by remaining your friend, one day you will see him the same way he sees you, and give him a chance as more than friends. I know, because I've been in this situation before as the guy. However, now that I'm older, I don't play those sorts of games. If you are not into me, fine, but don't expect me to listen to your problems for hours. lol:-P. Your "friend" / amirer may come to that realization, if he isn't already coming to that realization now. Thanks for the answer. We are in our early twenties. And he doesn't listen to my problems as I don't have any and I'm a private person anyway, but I listen to a lot of his problems. He has more issues than any of my girlfriends in fact. I will keep in mind what you've said here but it seems very immature considering our age group.
will1988 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Thanks for the answer. We are in our early twenties. And he doesn't listen to my problems as I don't have any and I'm a private person anyway, but I listen to a lot of his problems. He has more issues than any of my girlfriends in fact. I will keep in mind what you've said here but it seems very immature considering our age group. yes, it does seem immature. Hmmm if he is the one asking for more adivce and being wishy washy saying he loves you and then he is just your friend... he seems a little nutty to me. I would try to free yourself a little bit from him. Unstable people are no fun to be around.
Author annabelle26 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 yes, it does seem immature. Hmmm if he is the one asking for more adivce and being wishy washy saying he loves you and then he is just your friend... he seems a little nutty to me. I would try to free yourself a little bit from him. Unstable people are no fun to be around. Yeah good point. Thing is I've tried before to distance myself a bit but then he gets a bit upset and apologetic and I just feel terrible. He is going through tough times, which I'm sympathetic with, but I just don't know what he wants with me. I feel like an emotional crutch a lot of the time. Then he treats me a bit like a guy friend at other times like oh don't you think she's beautiful etc. I don't know, I've had guy friends in the past but not like this. It's a bit confusing.
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