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Guys, why do you put up with rudeness or aggressiveness from women?

sayitasitis

By sayitasitis
in General Relationship Discussion

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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Why do men put up with rude or assertive/aggressive (not abusive) behavior from women?

 

They're not in a relationship or having sex. They get along quite well but the woman is assertive/aggressive and the man puts up with it.

 

Could the man be anti confrontations so he puts up with it rather than pick a fight? Could the man like the woman? Could the man be easygoing? Could the man think the woman's good points trump her rudeness or aggressiveness?

 

Men on LS, do you put up with rude or assertive/aggressive women? If you do, why?

will1988 Established Member

will1988

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If I am dating a girl and she is rude, generally I'll brush it off because I have thick skin. However, if it continues and or gets worse I will put my foot down.

 

However, if it is some random person, girl or guy, who is rude to me... I will be rude right back. So if this chick is being rude to that guy and they are not dating or screwing and he is not standing up for himself, he is a tool. He either likes her and likes any attention from her, or he is just a non confrontational person.

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Radu Established Member

Radu

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In the situation in the OP i'd say the guy was either a wimp/wuss, he was told too much to respect women by his mommy [misguided but with a good heart] or just plain wants to get laid.

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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If I am dating a girl and she is rude, generally I'll brush it off because I have thick skin. However, if it continues and or gets worse I will put my foot down.

 

However, if it is some random person, girl or guy, who is rude to me... I will be rude right back. So if this chick is being rude to that guy and they are not dating or screwing and he is not standing up for himself, he is a tool. He either likes her and likes any attention from her, or he is just a non confrontational person.

 

Are you saying the man is a tool that likes the woman and the attention? Are being a tool and liking the woman mutually exclusive or not?

will1988 Established Member

will1988

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Are you saying the man is a tool that likes the woman and the attention? Are being a tool and liking the woman mutually exclusive or not?

 

no, he is a tool for putting up with BS rudeness... not for liking someone.

tman666 Established Member

tman666

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I don't put up with being rude/bitchy.

 

Aggressive is another thing altogether. I like it when a woman is assertive with what she wants, has an opinion of her own, etc., so in that respect, I like aggressiveness. Physical aggressiveness is entirely another thing. I don't let people hit me, slap me, push me, etc.

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Men on LS, do you put up with rude or assertive/aggressive women? If you do, why?

 

Because they picture her being f***ed into submission.

 

Sorry for offending any shrinking violets and non-aggressive men but this is the truth.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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In the situation in the OP i'd say the guy was either a wimp/wuss, he was told too much to respect women by his mommy [misguided but with a good heart] or just plain wants to get laid.

 

Haha this is true. I am like this with my boss. I can't help it, I am pretty outspoken when he does something that annoys me I tell him straight up. I know I come across as too aggressive but I believe that I am right. He is always backing down and apologizing and then we get along like nothing has happened. He is super nice to me.

 

I actually really like him, I just feel comfortable enough to call him out (which I guess is unfortunate for him). He is a bit of a wuss though.

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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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I guess it really depends on what "rude" means. If anyone called me names or physically assaulted me or something overt like that I wouldn't put up with it.

 

But, if a girl is routinely late for dates, or is selective when answering my calls or texts, or something more veiled, I'd put up with it until something better came along. Which is never really.

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tman666 Established Member

tman666

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But, if a girl is routinely late for dates, or is selective when answering my calls or texts, or something more veiled, I'd put up with it until something better came along. Which is never really.

 

Why would you put up with this?

 

I hesitate to post this, but I think this particular article/blog post has a lot of applicability to this thread:

 

Vulnerability and Manipulative Women

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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My mom was a total douche to me, so I tend to gravitate toward women with a little douche/uncaring in them. Feels like home! If she's too nice it's boring and I lose interest. I have a whole bunch of female friends who are very nice to me that I could date if I wanted to but don't. Actually got told by one girlfriend, just in the course of regular conversation, that after 6 months she didn't really care if I was there or not. Which is probably a big reason why I was so damn attracted to her. I sensed that to begin with.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Why would you put up with this?

 

I hesitate to post this, but I think this particular article/blog post has a lot of applicability to this thread:

 

Vulnerability and Manipulative Women

 

Well, I've only had this problem once. And the girl was cute, smart, and had a great personality. She was literally the first girl who showed me attention in years. No girl has shown me any attention since either, and I'm actually still in love with her to be honest.

 

Anyway, she was the only girl on the depth chart so I figured there was no harm in hanging out with her until someone else came along. No one else came along. So I put up with it. We did have fun, but there were aggravating moments too...

pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

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What world do you live in???? I find most dont. I can think of a few.

 

The better question is, why do girls put up with rudeness from a guy, and simply just say "hes being a guy?" Why cant us girls just say "we're being a girl" when guys call us bitchy? Hmmmm....

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

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Both men and women put up with bad behavior depending on how physically attracted they are to a person

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I sure don't. I don't put up with it from anybody.

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King_Crimson Established Member

King_Crimson

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I'm usually sarcastic/rude right back at them. However, I will be honest, the only time I put up with rudeness/aggressiveness from the opposite sex was during my first relationship in my early days... I would take a few jabs now and then haha. But I've learned my lesson since then :laugh:.

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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I don't put up with being rude/bitchy.

 

Aggressive is another thing altogether. I like it when a woman is assertive with what she wants, has an opinion of her own, etc., so in that respect, I like aggressiveness. Physical aggressiveness is entirely another thing. I don't let people hit me, slap me, push me, etc.

 

No, no violence is involved. Assertive/aggressive as in knowing what she wants and has an opinion to share.

 

Because they picture her being f***ed into submission.

 

Sorry for offending any shrinking violets and non-aggressive men but this is the truth.

 

F***ed into submission, meaning the man imagining himself "taming" the woman through sex?

 

Both men and women put up with bad behavior depending on how physically attracted they are to a person

 

The more the attraction, the more the tolerance?

 

I'm usually sarcastic/rude right back at them. However, I will be honest, the only time I put up with rudeness/aggressiveness from the opposite sex was during my first relationship in my early days... I would take a few jabs now and then haha. But I've learned my lesson since then :laugh:.

 

What was the lesson you learned?

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Men on LS, do you put up with rude or assertive/aggressive women? If you do, why?

 

When I do, it's generally for one or both of two reasons:

 

1. They're the GF or spouse of a male friend

 

2. I've determined that it's counter-productive to engage them due to demonstrated emotional instability or mental defect. Essentially, I treat them like a mental patient, which I have a lot of experience with.

 

I was role-modeled by a woman who was very assertive and held strong opinions and communicated them in a considerate and loving (with her family) way. I expect women to have strongly held opinions and express them openly. I welcome it. Get rude and you start to look like a guy and it's then ten seconds to the red tape. Better to walk away, so that's what I do, other than in the above exceptions, if it is not possible to walk away.

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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When I do, it's generally for one or both of two reasons:

 

1. They're the GF or spouse of a male friend

 

2. I've determined that it's counter-productive to engage them due to demonstrated emotional instability or mental defect. Essentially, I treat them like a mental patient, which I have a lot of experience with.

 

I was role-modeled by a woman who was very assertive and held strong opinions and communicated them in a considerate and loving (with her family) way. I expect women to have strongly held opinions and express them openly. I welcome it. Get rude and you start to look like a guy and it's then ten seconds to the red tape. Better to walk away, so that's what I do, other than in the above exceptions, if it is not possible to walk away.

 

This makes sense.

 

The men that have put up with my "nonsense" are those that are quite "cool" (let things slide off their backs), or don't want to fight when a woman is angry/emotional, or have some liking for me.

Vogeltron Established Member

Vogeltron

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Unless somebody has a preference for people who are rude or dirt to them. There are some for whatever reason. Sounds like somebody to me who feels they have no other options than to deal with it. The guy sounds like somebody who is might be reserved or shy. Has trouble meeting women so when he does they can walk all over him.

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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Unless somebody has a preference for people who are rude or dirt to them. There are some for whatever reason. Sounds like somebody to me who feels they have no other options than to deal with it. The guy sounds like somebody who is might be reserved or shy. Has trouble meeting women so when he does they can walk all over him.

 

On the contrary, you can say he's a bit of a player.

 

That's why he has me confused. :confused:

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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To some males, the negative attention they get from females happens to be the only attention they get from them.

 

In their eyes, at least the females are willing to even speak to them at all. To them, that's a moral victory.

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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To some males, the negative attention they get from females happens to be the only attention they get from them.

 

In their eyes, at least the females are willing to even speak to them at all. To them, that's a moral victory.

 

That's interesting. But this guy I know speaks to plenty of women. I think they respond. And he doesn't seem to be lacking of women.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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F***ed into submission, meaning the man imagining himself "taming" the woman through sex?

 

Sort of, depending on what he is into. A man will know that no matter how aggressive a woman is, he is likely to be stronger so she is no threat to him about 99.99% of the time. I know a lot of guys enjoy something quite rough every now then or at least fantasize about it

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sayitasitis Established Member

sayitasitis

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Sort of, depending on what he is into. A man will know that no matter how aggressive a woman is, he is likely to be stronger so she is no threat to him about 99.99% of the time. I know a lot of guys enjoy something quite rough every now then or at least fantasize about it

 

You could be onto something.

 

Sometimes he has this dazed look or deep in thought (don't ask me how I know).

 

You've got me thinking now.

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