juststarry6443 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 It's been 3 years since he and I had to split due to our age difference. No one in my family nor his approved of it, so we both agreed it would be best that we said goodbye. I moved to another state and we haven't spoken until this past year. I'm 19 now and he's 23...Every month, once a month I get a text from him. He usually wants to know how I'm doing and if I'll meet up with him. I know that I still love him and always will but I don't think he knows. He has become so bitter since we parted. He tells me he no longer loves me, no longer believes in love or believes he has a heart. But then when I ask him why he still wants me around, why is it so hard for him to let me go...he always answers I don't know. We both know we can't be together, so I always remind him that he has to forget about me but the longest he's ever lasted not speaking to me is 2 months. Sometimes I think OMG it's so obvious he still is but then I think my heart tends to gear me away from reality so I'm lost...
King_Crimson Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) 20 and 16 is not that far of an age difference in my opinion (some would probably disagree with me, but I know tons of relationships with this big of a difference and they worked out fine i.e. my grandparents). You're both young and have your whole lives ahead of you. If he wants to man up, and you want him to be your man, then meet him and see if it'll work. Otherwise, move on and find someone else. If that's you in the display picture, you'll have no problem finding someone new (and he will too, eventually). Best of luck. Edited April 5, 2013 by King_Crimson
Author juststarry6443 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 This doesn't necessarily answer my question but I appreciate your input and thank you for the compliment. I surely do believe myself that it's not that much of an age difference and I fought for that, but clearly my family had other ideas that's why he was almost charged for statutory rape and I was almost forced to sign a restraining order against him. Consequently, that's why I moved to another state and we know we can't be together (we have to meet up in secret). I'm not wondering or hoping he would speak up. I was hoping someone on here could assure me that this man is clearly still in love with me. And if some stranger can tell me that, maybe, just maybe someone can tell me how I can get him to notice those feelings and it'd be easier for him to let me go. I feel like his hidden caged up love for me is hurting him and I don't want that.
AccF428 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 My bet is, he's probably still in love with you, but trying really hard to get over you. By the way, 3 years ago, when you were 16 and he was 20, statutory rape was a possibility. Now it's not. No one can force you to do anything you don't want to.
uniqwa Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) I honestly advise you to use logic.. If he's told you that "He tells me he no longer loves me, no longer believes in love or believes he has a heart" I advise you to use logic.. You are the safety net.. It's so he doesn't fall and hit rock bottom emotionally speaking, obviously he has attachment towards you.. but men tend to be pretty strait forward... They don't express themselves as women nor do they give hidden meanings ( that is only a woman thing) now the fact he went two months and texted you at least once a month.. That is a huge flag.. Now the fact he bluntly told you He doesn't believe he has a heart.. That is another flag.. I advise you not to seek people to convince you.. YOU have a talk because this is all based on loosely connected theory, NO one knows what he thinks besides HIM.. he is his own person.. So you will have to go strait to the source and discuss wether or not he is in love.. Use logic and do not look for hidden meanings No man is like a puzzle unless you make them one.. ( i learned that the hard way) Men generally are not as intelligent hence they do not give hidden meanings aka being blunt is a very prominent male feature. Edited April 8, 2013 by uniqwa
Author juststarry6443 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 Like I said I have spoken to the source: He'd usually say things along the lines of I use to, but not anymore. I'd respond with questions like why do you keep texting me wanting to know how I'm doing and keep telling me you miss me but he never has an answer to that. &How can you have an attachment to someone but not have any lingering feelings though? I can pretty much tell that I am a safety net for him and I can see that he wants me to never go anywhere and always be around when I need him. But I guess I can answer that for myself. I need to stop answering his texts or calls or he's going to keep feeling like I'm always going to be there and will never be able to let me go. But it's even hard for me to let him go and I love that he still wants to see how I'm doing. I still love him. I don't really even care if he can probably never tell me that again... *sigh* My heart is fckd up.
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