RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Did you tell them you don't kiss on the first date? Otherwise you're doing your self a huge disservice and have got some serious trust issues. There are plenty of men looking for a serious relationship who kiss on the first date. I've had 4 LTRs spanning 15 years and all but one of them started with a kiss on the first date. If you keep affection and intimacy (not sex) locked up in such a guarded vault, you will never find someone. The love you take is equal to the love you make... Well, the other ladies on this thread say otherwise. That they aren't comfortable with a kiss on the first date either. Instant intimacy, and attempts at it, feels tacky and low class to me. Like a bad Jerry Springer episode or a reality TV show. If memory serves, you didn't quite 'feel it' for the ladies you ended up in LTRs with, right? Except for the first one when you were younger.. They fell for you, but you didn't fall for them. Ever ask yourself why? Not that it is anyone's business... but my experience is that I can't open up to men who need to push things. They have another agenda that has nothing to do with getting to know me. That is how it feels. Edited: I have plenty of people in my life who love and care for me. I'm very fortunate that way.
kaylan Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Lol...I must be living in Looney Tunes world...because most girls have kissed me on the first date/hangout...and if not then, definitely by the second hangout (if there is one). The only time a kiss didnt happen, is because obviously there was no vibe. This thread aint much different than the threads regarding timetables for sex. If the vibe is there, stuff will happen. 2
ThaWholigan Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Lol...I must be living in Looney Tunes world...because most girls have kissed me on the first date/hangout...and if not then, definitely by the second hangout (if there is one). The only time a kiss didnt happen, is because obviously there was no vibe. This thread aint much different than the threads regarding timetables for sex. If the vibe is there, stuff will happen. I'm inclined to agree. Everybody's cycle is different. And others happen to be versatile - depending on the vibe and the chemistry. I would definitely say I'm versatile. Have no problem going slow, but my direct nature seems to occasionally attract those who are as impulsive as I would normally be . It all depends. I would say that the slow approach has it's own benefits, even though I can't say that I have reaped them yet. I'm not sure if it is to work for me, but I'd like to see.
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Lol...I must be living in Looney Tunes world...because most girls have kissed me on the first date/hangout...and if not then, definitely by the second hangout (if there is one). The only time a kiss didnt happen, is because obviously there was no vibe. This thread aint much different than the threads regarding timetables for sex. If the vibe is there, stuff will happen. You are young and 'hang' with a different crowd. People with more to lose (men and women) don't jump into things like people with little or nothing to lose. This is another reason I don't agree to see men again who go for a kiss on the first date. They strike me as impulsive. Not disciplined. Low class. To each their own...
soccerrprp Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 They strike me as impulsive. Not disciplined. Low class. To each their own... Curious, do they "strike" you as all of those things or do they prove to be, based on your experiences? If there is clear physical attraction and the date has gone well, I always ask if I may kiss my date on the first date. Always ask. There is nothing impulsive, undisciplined or low class about me. 1
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Curious, do they "strike" you as all of those things or do they prove to be, based on your experiences? If there is clear physical attraction and the date has gone well, I always ask if I may kiss my date on the first date. Always ask. There is nothing impulsive, undisciplined or low class about me. On your first question... the answer is both. If there is clear physical attraction and the date has gone well, there are other ways to show your intentions. Touching... gazes... a warm smile. The sexist thing my last serious BF did on our first date (and I'd known him informally for a while)... was to put his hand on the small of my back as he opened the door for me as we were leaving the restaurant. I paused briefly, turned to look up at him and smiled. I don't think it took anything crazy obvious like him swooping in for a kiss for him to know I was attracted to him and wanted to see him again.
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Who do you think you are? Because to me, you come off as a bitter, old woman who has nothing but scorn and contempt for those who don't see the world through your eyes. I'm not here to help guys who behave like you. I'm here to help women avoid guys who behave like you. 1
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Well, let's hope those women don't take too much after you for their sake. Yea... God forbid your supply of FWBs and f*buddies dries up... :rolleyes:
CryForNoOne Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Well, the other ladies on this thread say otherwise. That they aren't comfortable with a kiss on the first date either. Fair enough. I'm even one of the guys who chimed in on this thread that it felt forced and awkward as well. I generally don't do it. But unless I'm misunderstanding you, you've extended your comments to ALL first dates, not just OLD. And you've made it clear it's an instant deal breaker even IF you like the guy. That's the head scratching part to me... Instant intimacy, and attempts at it, feels tacky and low class to me. Like a bad Jerry Springer episode or a reality TV show. If memory serves, you didn't quite 'feel it' for the ladies you ended up in LTRs with, right? Except for the first one when you were younger.. They fell for you, but you didn't fall for them. Ever ask yourself why? Not that it is anyone's business... but my experience is that I can't open up to men who need to push things. They have another agenda that has nothing to do with getting to know me. That is how it feels. I'm not talking about forcing a kiss. That never works out - so I "get" what you are saying. The best first kisses are the ones that I never even contemplated. One minute you're talking or whatever, the next moment you're kissing. It's spontaneous and natural. It's usually during the date, not at the end. The forced kiss at the end of the date, yeah maybe I agree with you. I've never entered a LTR that I didn't "feel it". The first 3-6 months were always great. The mistake I made when I was younger was not ending a deadend relationship sooner.
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Fair enough. I'm even one of the guys who chimed in on this thread that it felt forced and awkward as well. I generally don't do it. But unless I'm misunderstanding you, you've extended your comments to ALL first dates, not just OLD. And you've made it clear it's an instant deal breaker even IF you like the guy. That's the head scratching part to me... I'm not talking about forcing a kiss. That never works out - so I "get" what you are saying. The best first kisses are the ones that I never even contemplated. One minute you're talking or whatever, the next moment you're kissing. It's spontaneous and natural. It's usually during the date, not at the end. The forced kiss at the end of the date, yeah maybe I agree with you. I've never entered a LTR that I didn't "feel it". The first 3-6 months were always great. The mistake I made when I was younger was not ending a deadend relationship sooner. Fair enough.
Author PogoStick Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Update: Tonight's answer to the 1st date kiss is, Yes! We started with 2 hours talking over a couple beers at the bar. Virtually no kino but plenty of smiling and eye contact. She decided it was getting late enough (9pm, work tomorrow) that we shouldn't order another so I called in the check. We live about 30 minutes in different cities so we met at a town in the middle which I'm not familiar with. As we walked out she mentioned there is a park just down the road that we could walk to. The girl extending the date is a good sign. We held hands and I had my arm around her at times. We found a big slide, climbed to the top and there were little benches to sit and "talk" some more. At this point I felt like not kissing her would make me look too weak. I can be shy but it felt pretty clear what she wanted. She has a very soft and sweet personality so at the beginning of the night I was planning to keep things slow. Anyways she reciprocated plenty so I feel it went well. Now onto the next stage! I'm in over my head. She met 2 other guys before me from OLD, but I have no idea how those went. Of course I'm wondering if she kissed them too. Is she just enjoying the rush or did I come out a step ahead? I know I should play it cool but I'm really excited for this girl. I don't want to blow it by showing too much attraction.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 There were couple of instances were it felt completely right to do it on the first meet/date. The chemistry was that strong that I was really hoping it will happen (which it did ) - but all the other times it didn't feel "right". In general, guys rarely grow on me....so if it's lukewarm on the first date, it stays that way.
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