White collar/blue collar dating

[dasein]

Yep, my truck. Here's a picture of it:

 

 

I unscrewed and screwed the lugnuts with my bare hands too.

 

Yes, you are wet now.

[melodymatters]

Again, could some of you explain what you mean when you use the words " Intellectual" and "educated" ?

 

Most doctors or scientists I know start concentrating heavily in the Maths and Sciences from their freshman year on, which are fascinating subjects, but rather pin point in focus. I have yet to meet a physician who knows as much about literature, philosophy, religion or the arts as some of my "other" friends.

 

I know academic PhD couples who can't budget their way out of a paper bag or perform basic home repairs.

 

I know a high school drop out welder that owns a nationally recognized company, has never lost a dime in the stock market ( I marvel at his trades and the knowledge behind them) and knows American History back and forth.

 

NO ONE person can capture the breadth and width of all subjects and anything less could be considered dilettantism.

 

Are we talking vocabulary ? Grammar ? Which university one graduated from ? Knowing what fork to use ?

 

I would really LOVE a comprehensive answer on "What IS intelligence and Education ?"

 

PS; GIGS is Grass is Greener syndrome and Celtica, no hon, I'm backing you up

[Drseussgrrl]

I never said he was "just" a construction worker.

 

He labors right alongside his guys. Small company of about 6-10 at any given time.

 

He was in a PhD program at one point for physical therapy, but he didn't complete it.

 

He got into construction/real estate through his mom who is in that business. And, he is by no means a wealthy guy. He just enjoys working for himself.

[Celtica]

Yep, my truck. Here's a picture of it:

 

 

I unscrewed and screwed the lugnuts with my bare hands too.

 

Yes, you are wet now.

 

Ahahah oh my Gawwwwd..! Dasein...

 

I don't even know what lugnuts are but the fact that you did it with your bare hands....wet would be an understatement (oh my gosh I sound so dirty , I think I'm going to stop right there).

[Woggle]

At the end of the day for the most part society needs the blue collar folks more than most yuppies. It's the working class folks who rescued people during Sandy and are rebuilding my neighbor hood right now. The guy I talked with while having dinner the other day is one of the people personally rebuilding the boardwalk and he just seemed like a genuinely good guy. Without them, the electric, crews, the first responders and everything nothing would get done.

[thefooloftheyear]

I never said he was "just" a construction worker.

 

He labors right alongside his guys. Small company of about 6-10 at any given time.

 

He was in a PhD program at one point for physical therapy, but he didn't complete it.

 

He got into construction/real estate through his mom who is in that business. And, he is by no means a wealthy guy. He just enjoys working for himself.

 

 

Do you know me??

 

I have a biology degree and have been running my own company(blue collar) for many years. Weird!

 

FWIW, I have big strong hands because of what I do. I dont know how any woman could be attracted to a guy with those soft girly hands some of those other types have...

 

TFOY

[Radu]

I'll say it again, for me the difference between blue collar and white collar is what you do with your mind.

If you took a construction job and you drink beer in your spare time, get the beer belly, and do nothing with your life outside of these 2 things ... you know what it means.

If on the other hand you took a manual job for some goal, if you read and you try to actively challenge the perception of the world that was programmed inside your mind by society, you are most deffinitely not a blue collar.

 

That is my distinction, i am not from the US so the line over here is deffinitely NOT blurry.

 

Here's an interesting fact, i didn't know some of you LS regulars could get so antsy in the panties/briefs over this distinction.

The emotions that are behind the posts, can be felt.

[carhill]

From Wikipedia, and reflective of my own experiences interfacing with both 'collars':

 

A blue-collar worker is a member of the working class who performs manual labor. Blue-collar work may involve skilled or unskilled, manufacturing, mining, construction, mechanical, maintenance, technical installation and many other types of physical work. Often something is physically being built or maintained.

 

In contrast, the white-collar worker typically performs work in an office environment and may involve sitting at a computer or desk.

 

FWIW, I've encountered very few blue-collar women, though more of the blended/pink collar service industry variety. My exW probably came closest, being a hair stylist. Most women I know today, personally, work 'office' jobs, whether they are degreed or not, meaning their 'product' is work derived from or produced by their labors in that environment. By the wiki definition, that's white collar. I may have a computer and a desk in my shop office, and white-collar functions may be performed there, but the real 'work' is on the shop floor. That's where the money is made. Hands get dirty. It's dangerous and often physically uncomfortable or exhausting. An often ugly, but functional, machine belches its way out the door. Solid blue-collar.

 

While I prefer to judge and be judged as a person and not as a function of my life's vocation, I understand the world doesn't work that way so accept it. People do what they do. I hope we all find some peace and satisfaction in our life processes and maybe a few other humans to share that with in a meaningful way, like by dating.

[FitChick]

Interesting article on the class system and how we are redefining it. It's not as clear cut as it used to be regarding education or money.

[Leigh 87]

I get along with both types of people.

 

Perhaps this is attributed to my mums side being from white collar professions, and my fathers side being in blue collar professions. Furthermore, I dropped out of college at one stage and have only recently gone back to finish my degree. During my time of smoking pot and doing nothing, I had a long term relationship of about 2 years with a VERY "typical" blue collar man. I was 17 when we started dating and 20 when I left him.

 

I had to break up with him because I had no stimulating conversations with him, and I only looked forward to smoking pot together:sick: I was going in one direction (to better my education and in turn, myself) and he was not moving in the same direction as I was; I could not see him in my future.

 

From an objective point of view, obviously, I can probably not write as well as say, a lawyer or person with a prestigious white collar degree orientated field. Or even a person who has been in college longer than I have.

Some men would not date me on account of my written skills and perceived lack of intelligence; where as in person, I actually get along very well with people in highly sought after " smart" professions. Although they would probably not pick me from our online conversations alone if they need a women who sounds better educated than I come across as.

 

...............................................

 

Earning income and the status of a man is not important to me; am at college and I will end up in a white collar professional job that requires a degree, however; the job I am entering into will only earn an average wage. My boyfriend on the other hand, is of a blue collar background and will earn far more than me and my "white collar" profession will amount to when he finishes his qualifications for his trade; his father became a millionaire through his blue collar business and my partner will likely go down the same path.

 

It is not so much the income bracket a man falls within, seeing as I am going after a white collar profession that is only of average pay (in Australia). For me, it is all about my connection with a guy: my intellectual, emotional, mental, etc.

 

Both my partner and I have a favourite thing to do that we both share: one of our favourite activities to do is to watch informative documentaries together while we hug/relax, and to have discussions about the subject matters at hand, in much the same way I have always done in a class room settling (when you discuss issues with the class and hear different peoples ideas on various matters)

 

I do not feel held back by my blue collar partner, yet I can see how I would not be compatible with various man who feel I am not successful or smart enough for them.

I can also see how there is a pattern of more white collar workers having less to connect with blue collar workers. It is the norm, but there are plenty of exceptions.

[Leigh 87]

 

Here's an interesting fact, i didn't know some of you LS regulars could get so antsy in the panties/briefs over this distinction.

The emotions that are behind the posts, can be felt.

 

Yeah well it annoys me how people on here assume that someone like me, who has yet to finish my college degree and may not write so well, is necessarily lacking the substance to get along with them well in real life.

 

I hate assumptions.

 

I get along with white collar people in the real world whom have very high status jobs, and feel it is judgmental of people online to assume a person like me would not be able to have intelligent conversations with them in real life.

 

I am past he point of caring at this stage, thank god. I have dealt with certain types of people on here and have let go of my frustrations (for now)

[Noproblem]

Yeah well it annoys me how people on here assume that someone like me, who has yet to finish my college degree and may not write so well, is necessarily lacking the substance to get along with them well in real life.

 

I hate assumptions.

 

I get along with white collar people in the real world whom have very high status jobs, and feel it is judgmental of people online to assume a person like me would not be able to have intelligent conversations with them in real life.

 

I am past he point of caring at this stage, thank god. I have dealt with certain types of people on here and have let go of my frustrations (for now)

 

Well, no offense to the op

But I didn't like this topic that much

 

I mean in a house...2 brothers or 2 sisters can't understand each other or get along...it doesn't really have to deal with what you do, but what you feel and think....

[Leigh 87]

This is very true, although we cannot ignore the fact that: it is evident enough for people to notice the differences between white and blue collar workers.

 

The underlying stereotype I see are of blue collar workers who only talk about sport, fishing, and sex and lack the knowledge and motivation to learn about and discuss more intelligent topics.

I have seen many of those types of blue collar workers, and I admit that type of person is more common among blue collar than white collars.

 

The problem with this is: there are also white collars who go to college get their degrees and secure a professional job because it was expected of them, and not because they are even interested in being academic or discussing a wide array of topics. They could go to their office jobs and only be interested in debating if Kayne West will cheat on Kim Kardashian, and have little motivation to learn more about the world around them.

 

Then there are blue collars with no college degree, like my boyfriend, who are really interested in war, history and science.

 

His spelling and grammar are shocking due to not reading a lot and having practiced writing academic essays, but they do not bother me; in terms of conversation, we cover the same variety and depth of topics as I do with white collar, highly educated people.

 

I admit that I wrongly assume that his lack of academic skills would not be something I could get past, but then I realised that hey, I am not a rocket scientist and my grammar is shocking to people who are more highly educated than I am; would I want them to not date me if we otherwise got along well?

 

I could meet a lawyer or doctor, as I have done on the train many times, and have in depth discussions and be a person that they consider "good friend" material. I actually made friends with a med student who is much more academically gifted in the area of science than I am; she admitted that she has friends like me who do not have the academic credentials that she has, yet who she connects with in much the same way as her fellow med students.

 

There are people who are too smart to be friends with or date me, and that is fine, it is no different to not dating someone due to their appearance.

I just do not make assumptions about people purely based on their line of work these days....

[Radu]

LOL, OMG ... this is like post 69.

 

Weather or not you like it, assumptions will continue to be made, about ... everything.

 

And assumptions about what you are considering your line of work can work your way.

Take the guy/girl who does not have higher education and you go in assuming you will be speaking with a dumbass only for them to let you be flabbergasted.

This has worked in my advantage before, i look like crap, i'm overweight, and i left college so i don't have a degree.

And the jobs i worked were blue collar [PC repairman].

But because i like to read a lot online, i can hold conversations with most of the ppl that i meet in RL, it has helped me; their assumptions worked in my favor.

The fact that i am a college dropout who worked this blue collar job, also helped me after my dad died and his ex business partner tried to cheat us.

Well, this dumbass loser was analysing the business partner, and helped play his family play a fantastic game of bluff in order to transform a toxic asset in something different.

 

Thinking about this, the assumptions we make, made me realise something different.

What ppl assume of me when they meet me, especially women.

 

My interactions with women have constantly gone this way :

- stay back, listen, look, learn

- if asked, be bland

- little by little, after a few interactions over a period of time, i loosen up

- provide relevant info [reading a lot helps ]

- provide relevant info

- provide relevant info

Every time you do that, and show that you know a lot about different aspects of life, and can hold conversations you demonstrate value.

Every little time you demonstrate value your position on the social ladder of that little group gets increased by a tinyyyy bit.

Ppl sometimes notice the constant increases and don't know what to make of you.

So they assume, beyond the scope of what you have proven because you keep getting out of the cathegory they put you in, the box they put you in inside their minds.

Another nice effect of this is that ppl [mostly women here] tend over time to believe you are awesome, because they see only that idealised you.

 

When i get to this point, i generally sabotage myself, i hold myself back.

I know i'm not what they believe i am, and it feels 'bad' to misrepresent myself.

I wonder what would happen if i let them believe that.

 

Would my fall from their graces be hard ?

Would their realities bend to my own ?; would i end up being an authority figure in their own version of reality ?

[Leigh 87]

Radu - you did not strike be like a person who was blue collar and " redneck" or whatever other untrue stereo types are out there:sick:

 

To be honest, you sound just like most people with degrees and white collar jobs. You like to read and know about various things - I find reading has taught me everything I know about writing "essays" or using correct spelling and grammar. Having an English teacher for a mum has also helped me.

 

I actually prefer to get talking with a person BEFORE asking them "what do they do" because on an unconscious level, I am sure I would make assumptions and pass judgment on a person ( not necessarily bad, for instance; once I know someone is a hairdresser, I may be more surprised when she is well spoken, likes to read a lot, and has a lot of white collar friends)

 

..................................

 

 

I WILL TELL YOU ONE observation, just from my own life: out of my boyfriends friends, who are blue collar, not one of them dates a girl who is in or has finished University/college.

 

This is a random observation; it does not mean anything to be in terms of whether or not a b/collar and white collar person can date; they CAN and do often.

 

Some of these girls are sought after and looked up to if; their hot and also a kind person who does not cause drama and who has a stable full time job. Holding a college degree probably does not phase these people, although they probably see it as a positive thing.

Most guys I know want a girl who is "intelligent" opposed to a girl who is not, I find!

 

In some circles COLLEGE is not something that people strive for professionally, although in a lot of cases I admit I do seam to get along better with the girls my age who attend or have finished college.

There are always exceptions though and I have some friends without degrees too.

[Celtica]

 

Some of these girls are sought after and looked up to if; their hot and also a kind person who does not cause drama and who has a stable full time job. Holding a college degree probably does not phase these people, although they probably see it as a positive thing.

Most guys I know want a girl who is "intelligent" opposed to a girl who is not, I find!

 

In some circles COLLEGE is not something that people strive for professionally, although in a lot of cases I admit I do seam to get along better with the girls my age who attend or have finished college.

There are always exceptions though and I have some friends without degrees too.

 

It's funny you say all of this about what these blue-collar guys you know seek:

 

My blue-collar ex immediately broke up with me when I started the least bit of questioning in the relationship, which I did merely because I prefer to discuss things over making simple statements of "let's be exclusive" in order to understand where we are to the fullest. Lack of extensive communication is what got me in trouble with the white collared dudes, and full-on communication got me in trouble with my red-neck guy (which he interpreted as mere drama-making). SO on that note, I'm utterly confused, and thus I think I'm going to stick with generalizations about my observations for sake of saving my future relationships.... I mean hey, wasn't it Aristotle who encouraged categorizing everything and considered generalizations a human art? If the Greeks say it's okay, then hey :laugh:

[thefooloftheyear]

It's funny you say all of this about what these blue-collar guys you know seek:

 

My blue-collar ex immediately broke up with me when I started the least bit of questioning in the relationship, which I did merely because I prefer to discuss things over making simple statements of "let's be exclusive" in order to understand where we are to the fullest. Lack of extensive communication is what got me in trouble with the white collared dudes, and full-on communication got me in trouble with my red-neck guy (which he interpreted as mere drama-making). SO on that note, I'm utterly confused, and thus I think I'm going to stick with generalizations about my observations for sake of saving my future relationships.... I mean hey, wasn't it Aristotle who encouraged categorizing everything and considered generalizations a human art? If the Greeks say it's okay, then hey :laugh:

 

I think it was probably more just the individual, not the chosen career path that resulted in communication issues you had. I wouldnt overanalyze it that way.

 

Follow your gut feeling...

[Radu]

I think one of the reasons why there is generally [we are talking trends, don't get your panties in a knot ppl] an expectation for college educated ppl to be more literate [as in reading more ... i hope i used this word properly] is because of who and what they surround themselves with.

 

If you surround yourself with ppl who generally do not read or try to improve their education, then you end up mirroring those guys.

If you do go to college and end up surrounding yourself with ppl who read [more often found amongst them but not always], then you will end up mirroring them.

If not mirroring their work or their desires, at least their diction and getting to know some general facts.

 

We tend to educate ourselves through our social circle as well, so who you surround yourself with is important.

 

Over here there's a saying 'omul si porcul ii iei dupa neam' which means 'the man and the pig are taken [bought in the case of the pig] by their family/breeding'.

There is some wisdom to this.

 

PS: The guy in my avatar only did 4 classes but could hold his own with university professors and had an incredible wit; he even found TV educational ... every time it got turned on he went and opened a book.

[Archgirl]

I'm a PhD student, although it's not deliberate the guys I date lately are all smart switched on guys who work trades and never went to uni. I prefer them soo much to the self absorbed, sheltered, less adventurous uni dudes I used to see.

 

I don't need someone to talk about my PhD to, I need someone that gets me, my sense of humour, will cuddle me coz i'm having a bad day, call me 'princess' and teach me how to do fun stuff like fish and fix stuff then take me out to dinner then challenge me to a shot competition.

Edited April 6, 2013 by Archgirl

[Eternal Sunshine]

Uni/higher ed dudes tend to be more traditional and less exciting.

 

I always found blue collar men sexier and white collar men more intellectually stimulating.

 

Give an intellectually stimulating blue collar man

[Eternal Sunshine]

LOL, OMG ... this is like post 69.

 

Weather or not you like it, assumptions will continue to be made, about ... everything.

 

And assumptions about what you are considering your line of work can work your way.

Take the guy/girl who does not have higher education and you go in assuming you will be speaking with a dumbass only for them to let you be flabbergasted.

This has worked in my advantage before, i look like crap, i'm overweight, and i left college so i don't have a degree.

And the jobs i worked were blue collar [PC repairman].

But because i like to read a lot online, i can hold conversations with most of the ppl that i meet in RL, it has helped me; their assumptions worked in my favor.

The fact that i am a college dropout who worked this blue collar job, also helped me after my dad died and his ex business partner tried to cheat us.

Well, this dumbass loser was analysing the business partner, and helped play his family play a fantastic game of bluff in order to transform a toxic asset in something different.

 

Thinking about this, the assumptions we make, made me realise something different.

What ppl assume of me when they meet me, especially women.

 

My interactions with women have constantly gone this way :

- stay back, listen, look, learn

- if asked, be bland

- little by little, after a few interactions over a period of time, i loosen up

- provide relevant info [reading a lot helps ]

- provide relevant info

- provide relevant info

Every time you do that, and show that you know a lot about different aspects of life, and can hold conversations you demonstrate value.

Every little time you demonstrate value your position on the social ladder of that little group gets increased by a tinyyyy bit.

Ppl sometimes notice the constant increases and don't know what to make of you.

So they assume, beyond the scope of what you have proven because you keep getting out of the cathegory they put you in, the box they put you in inside their minds.

Another nice effect of this is that ppl [mostly women here] tend over time to believe you are awesome, because they see only that idealised you.

 

When i get to this point, i generally sabotage myself, i hold myself back.

I know i'm not what they believe i am, and it feels 'bad' to misrepresent myself.

I wonder what would happen if i let them believe that.

 

Would my fall from their graces be hard ?

Would their realities bend to my own ?; would i end up being an authority figure in their own version of reality ?

 

Radu - you are one of the most intelligent people here. I assumed you had 3 PhDs

 

And yes, I relate to people putting you in boxes...In academia, if you are doing hard science and are female, you are constantly underestimated. Older males think I am some bimbo that can't handle hard core stuff. And then I prove them wrong, again and again. And I watch their respect rise. (see my signature )

[stillafool]

Why does this thread only talk about blue collar men and not blue collar women. I notice whenever there is a thread on this subject it's mostly discussed about the male gender. Is it because it doesn't matter when it comes to woman?

[carhill]

I would surmise that social status wrt dating for a man revolves to some degree around his 'collar', far more so than with women, so it's natural for the discussion to focus more on male 'collar' than female. Aspects of male social status as a point of attraction are often discussed on these forums, and I find that to mirror conversations with women in real life. A man's social status is important and the 'collar' he wears is part of that, perceptually. It's something which is quantifiable.

[Woggle]

Why does this thread only talk about blue collar men and not blue collar women. I notice whenever there is a thread on this subject it's mostly discussed about the male gender. Is it because it doesn't matter when it comes to woman?

 

Because most men don't really care about a woman's status like that. That being said I prefer women who haven't been sheltered their entire life. I know this sounds weird coming from somebody who is married to a Princeton grad but when she went to college she moved to a new state and made her own way in the world instead of being sheltered her entire life.

[Celtica]

Why does this thread only talk about blue collar men and not blue collar women. I notice whenever there is a thread on this subject it's mostly discussed about the male gender. Is it because it doesn't matter when it comes to woman?

 

Then speak!!!