Celtica Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Do any of you have success stories? I grew up in a white collar family and am really starting to take a fancy to "red neck" guys and their pick-up trucks. My last bf was pretty much this, but it was difficult to communicate in terms of conversation.
Author Celtica Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Sorry, I know I'm getting into sensitive territory talking about class differences in dating. But really? Nobody? It's less about me than I am curious about how it has worked for people in general.
Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 In recent months, some of the most stimulating and exiting, connecting conversations I've had have been with blue-collar guys. That said, at the end of the day, we just value too different of things to be compatible long-term. 1
SensitiveTJ Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I'm dating a blue-collar girl right now and we do struggle connecting intellectually. I'ma schoolteacher by trade, but honestly, sometimes I do more "teaching" at home.
StanMusial Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Do any of you have success stories? I grew up in a white collar family and am really starting to take a fancy to "red neck" guys and their pick-up trucks. My last bf was pretty much this, but it was difficult to communicate in terms of conversation. LOL. You are describing a stereotype/lifestyle/image, not an actual person. Maybe because your last bf was like that you think that is what you want.
carhill Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 It would probably help if you could describe what 'blue-collar' means to you. What you describe as 'red-neck' may not even be blue collar but rather a subset of a particular regional culture having nothing to do with their job. In my demographic, most white collar professional women avoid we blue collar guys like the plague but that's probably due to the male/female ratio, in that they can exclude a large portion of the males and still have sufficient relationship options. My success story would be the farm girl marrying the white collar professional (insurance actuary and accountant), being married for life and popping out an often frustrating, to them, blue collar son. Each partner had their strengths and smarts and they complimented each other. Good luck. 2
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 My experience is that some men get a bit funny if you are better educated and earn more than them. Especially if you own your place and they rent. 2
StanMusial Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 My experience is that some men get a bit funny if you are better educated and earn more than them. Especially if you own your place and they rent. I've never dated anyone who made more or had more money than me. So this is just a theory, maybe they think it would not be a good match? Edit: Since college and establishing my career - I have not dated anyone who made more money.
crude Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I've never dated anyone who made more or had more money than me. So this is just a theory, maybe they think it would not be a good match? Edit: Since college and establishing my career - I have not dated anyone who made more money. According to statistics, city dwelling single, childless women in the US and Canada make more $$ than their male counterparts, so you might just date some unless you're going for the bimbo type woman. 1
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I've never dated anyone who made more or had more money than me. So this is just a theory, maybe they think it would not be a good match? Edit: Since college and establishing my career - I have not dated anyone who made more money. because it never happened to you it never happened to anyone else? Yes sir, we are all the same, go through the same experiences and same career stages.
StanMusial Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 because it never happened to you it never happened to anyone else? Yes sir, we are all the same, go through the same experiences and same career stages. No, I was trying to tell you my opinion was completely theoretical because I didn't have any experience dating someone with more money. I am sure it happens all the time. I have dated schoolteachers, nurses, dance instructors, customer service reps, merchandisers, brand managers, apparel designers, college instructors/professors, paralegals, mental health professionals/counselors, travel agents, event planners, etc. I dated a gal once who was the director at a summer camp. My current gf runs her own hair salon. So far as I know, I always made more than my date. I didn't really think that much about it, that's just the way it was and that's my life experience.
stillafool Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Do any of you have success stories? I grew up in a white collar family and am really starting to take a fancy to "red neck" guys and their pick-up trucks. My last bf was pretty much this, but it was difficult to communicate in terms of conversation. Stay in your own lane. Why mess around with guys just because of their trucks. I'm sure these guys don't want to be used by some girl just so they can experience "red neck" culture.
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) I have dated schoolteachers, nurses, dance instructors, customer service reps, merchandisers, brand managers, apparel designers, college instructors/professors, paralegals, mental health professionals/counselors, travel agents, event planners, etc. I dated a gal once who was the director at a summer camp. My current gf runs her own hair salon. So far as I know, I always made more than my date. I didn't really think that much about it, that's just the way it was and that's my life experience. I wouldn't class any of those people as high earners so that's probably the reason. In the UK they fit in 'low to middle income' category. Edit: to me white collar means 'professional' like architect, physician, some analysts, solicitors, etc Edited April 5, 2013 by Emilia
Radu Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 What's a blue-collar female job ... the popular ones ? 1
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 What's a blue-collar female job ... the popular ones ? Anything that doesn't require a degree I suppose - by and large.
PhoenixRysing Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I have dated several blue collar guys and had the same experience with each. Though our roots are the same (I am come from meager beginnings) and I personally have enjoyed the relationships, each of the men has been ultimately unable to handle the difference in our current lifestyles. They have all ended the relationships with similar feedback - they do not see where they are needed in my life or how they fit into it long term. Initially they all believed they could handle the disparity in income and lifestyle and for short term we had a great time. Ultimately each decided they could not handle not being "the breadwinner" or even being able to "keep me" in my current lifestyle. Mind you, it was never my expectation, but apparently subconsciously it was theirs and their ideal. I am not saying this will always be true but regardless of my openness to it, the men have opted out. Just food for thought. 1
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I have dated several blue collar guys and had the same experience with each. Though our roots are the same (I am come from meager beginnings) and I personally have enjoyed the relationships, each of the men has been ultimately unable to handle the difference in our current lifestyles. They have all ended the relationships with similar feedback - they do not see where they are needed in my life or how they fit into it long term. Initially they all believed they could handle the disparity in income and lifestyle and for short term we had a great time. Two major issues that keep cropping up: my having my own place and additional property as investment (ie having assets beyond cash) and the ability to finance my hobbies/interests to the degree that I want. I've also found we put different values on self-improvement (ie to me it's important, for a lot of 'blue collar' guys it isn't). Wouldn't say I ever broke up over this with anyone but having rather different expectations from life long term didn't help.
grkBoy Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I dunno. I see a lot of "mixed" dating in this sense. Usually the only factor both sides think of is financial stability. Bear in mind an accountant or office worker can lose their job easily or get paid crap nowadays. Yet I'll see plumbers and electricians making amazing money. The classes are more blurred now. If anything, I'll see the lack of desire to intermix when it's more "30 year old Walmart stock boy" wanting to date the account management person from an office, or "diner waitress" wanting to date the lawyer. 3
Radu Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I have dated several blue collar guys and had the same experience with each. Though our roots are the same (I am come from meager beginnings) and I personally have enjoyed the relationships, each of the men has been ultimately unable to handle the difference in our current lifestyles. They have all ended the relationships with similar feedback - they do not see where they are needed in my life or how they fit into it long term. Initially they all believed they could handle the disparity in income and lifestyle and for short term we had a great time. Ultimately each decided they could not handle not being "the breadwinner" or even being able to "keep me" in my current lifestyle. Mind you, it was never my expectation, but apparently subconsciously it was theirs and their ideal. I am not saying this will always be true but regardless of my openness to it, the men have opted out. Just food for thought. In their mids masculinity was tied with provider, because they were conditioned to believe that. I hate to say this, but if you have higher education you are more likely [not by much mind you] to not think like this. In the end i suspect it's more about what Emilia posted, the desire for self-improvement. Some ppl don't have it no matter what kind of job they have, but it seems that in the case of blue collar guys, this is more apparent.
Author Celtica Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Stay in your own lane. Why mess around with guys just because of their trucks. I'm sure these guys don't want to be used by some girl just so they can experience "red neck" culture. Who said I was using them? It's something that I'm actually interested in. I find it hard to date guys who are white collar for some reason. Maybe it stems from living in Australia for a year and adapting to their egalitarian mentality. Once you accept that as a way of life and thinking, and reject the desire to be more than you are and to want more than you have, it's quite difficult to go back to dating white-collar guys and their entrepreneur ways. Much desire, little content. I also find the blue-collared - or maybe I'll just say red neck - guys I've met to be more appreciative of me as a woman in all senses. What I've seen is that they understand that they cannot have everything under the sun, as their income level doesn't provide it. So they are appreciative for what God gives them, including the women who enter their lives. It's just an observation from my own experience. I'm not implying it to be universal.
Author Celtica Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 In their mids masculinity was tied with provider, because they were conditioned to believe that. I hate to say this, but if you have higher education you are more likely [not by much mind you] to not think like this. In the end i suspect it's more about what Emilia posted, the desire for self-improvement. Some ppl don't have it no matter what kind of job they have, but it seems that in the case of blue collar guys, this is more apparent. I'm sorry, but I have a problem with your use of the word "conditioned". You were conditioned just as much as they were to believe what you believe.
Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Anything that doesn't require a degree I suppose - by and large. That's my immediate reaction too, but then I think of a General Contractor, and I think that's a blue collar gig but most often they have degrees. I tend to think of white collar as those who wear suits and ties and are largely paper pushers.
Author Celtica Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 My experience is that some men get a bit funny if you are better educated and earn more than them. Especially if you own your place and they rent. When I was 23 (back in Oz), I dated a Kiwi that had a big problem with my intense career-driven mentality. He was a full-on possom-hunting, motorcycle-owning, barefoot, rural-living guy, and for some reason he felt like our relationship was threatened by my pursuit to make a more than decent salary. But it was a big wake-up call for me, in terms of questioning my own true desires and the ones my parents and society instilled in me back home.
Woggle Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Even though I am well off I will never in a million fit in to the yuppie white collar world and I have no desire to. I am not a redneck but I come from a working class background and that is what I will always be. My wife is from a more upper class background but you would never guess it by talking to her. 3
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