oxoctoberxo Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half, we live together (his idea) and have had more fights recently. I will be the first to admit I have trust issues as well as a few quirks, I know that not all of them are rational but I am trying to change my perspective. One of the ones I'm having a very hard time with is porn. I understand the concepts of it and don't find it inherently evil, my issue stemmed from my first boyfriend, he took my virginity and did not bother to try to help me learn how to do anything, because I was not automatically a sex godess he preferred porn over me. My current bf knows this issue. I apologize if I jump around on this but it's a little complex, another issue we have is my libido is considerably higher than his, he has given me the compensation that we can do it every other day. With this in mind, I walked in on him looking at porn, he insist it's not for gratification and barely for arousal, he refuses to see why this would have any correlation with me being confused and upset (also, another thing we are having problems with is we started on a bdsm/kinky level and he now does nothing but vanilla). I asked him for the same comprimise, if I had to wait every other day, so should he, first he called be crazy and laughed and only conceded when he seen it made me upset while still calling me prudish. (our original agreement was he could not look before we were going to have sex). I guess my main concern is am I fully in the wrong on this? Or are my concerns at least a little valid? Does anyone know how we can best progress from here? He says he's not wanting to end the relationship, I have no interest in doing so either, just so tired of arguing and not getting a decent answer or viewpoint
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Sounds like you have a very selfish boyfriend. Lots of guys out there won't poke fun at your needs and deny you. Find a more emotionally mature partner who believes in a mutually satisfying relationship, rather than this one who is focused just on his needs. Crappy luck in picking thus far, but perhaps the third time will prove to be the charm after two bad fish. Try again.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Also, you are just incompatible. All the feelings of love in this world can't overcome basic incompatibility. You can accept that gracefully and move on, or struggle to the bitter end, endure greater emotional trauma, and have the relationship implode anyway. Your choice.
outsidethebox Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 How does it go from bdsm/kinky to vanilla? I'm not interested? Oh, and I'm not interested in sex that much but I'll do it every other day if you insist. But I'd rather look at porn. How do you see there's any future in this?
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