mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 That when a guy is unreasonably mean to you, it could be because he likes you? I mean I can see that happening for guys in their childhood or teens. But does it still happen in one's 20s and 30s? Because I do get that sometimes and I find it kind of bizarre that they act that way. One of them I saw today. He kept making fun of me in a rather mean way while at the same time checking me out up and down. To be fair, he is not a very nice guy in general but I feel like with me he takes it to another level. Thoughts?
WhoreyBull Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Oh ya, it's totally true. But see, if they are doing it when they are 20-30 it means he likes you in the way that'll end with you in a body bag. 5
Author mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 While I do agree about the mean factor being a childhood crush kind of thing, I perceive a man being mean to you at that late in life as head games or being passive and shy. Instead of making his intentions known, he maybe unaware of how to react to how he feels towards you, or he can be in fact a prick with ears. But yes, it is bizarre. lool. Well, maybe he just genuinely doesn't like me!
MrCastle Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I certainly tease women and it separates me from all the guys who bow at their feet, but it is never cruel. It's always obviously playful and they've never taken it seriously, nor have I ever offended them. Maybe he likes you and is trying to do what I do, but he over does it and tries too hard and it just ends up coming off as nasty. 2
DannyMason Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Maybe he's into Pick-Up Artistry and is "negging" you. 1
kaylan Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Ill tease a girl I like, but Im not mean to a girl unless I cant stand her.
Author mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Maybe he's into Pick-Up Artistry and is "negging" you. haha, I could see him being like that. I don't know, he doesn't make any direct approach. We're usually with other people when he is ahole to me. I just find it bizarre cause at the same time he sooo obviously checks me out every time he sees me.
Author mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Ill tease a girl I like, but Im not mean to a girl unless I cant stand her. hmmm, how do I find out if it's because he can't stand me?
Noproblem Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I think and this is just my theory....Some guys act in a mean way, because it's their way to fight back their feelings for you. The reasons behind this fighting are either because they really love their freedom and the second thing is you really not what they dream of as girlfriend (I don't mean you are bad looking or bad in personality, I mean not what they always wanted ) 1
Author mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 I think and this is just my theory....Some guys act in a mean way, because it's their way to fight back their feelings for you. The reasons behind this fighting are either because they really love their freedom and the second thing is you really not what they dream of as girlfriend (I don't mean you are bad looking or bad in personality, I mean not what they always wanted ) Well, I'm quite sure he has no "feelings" for me. If anything, given how his eyes are always on my body, it's just sexual attraction. But perhaps he is fighting the sexual attraction because he thinks I would not have sex with him. And again, there is always the possibility that he just can't stand me like kaylan said. 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 hmmm, how do I find out if it's because he can't stand me? Even if he is interested, does it make sense get involved with someone who plays head games and is downright mean to you? Generally, no good comes from involving oneself in a situation with that dynamic. 2
Author mesmerized Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 Even if he is interested, does it make sense get involved with someone who plays head games and is downright mean to you? Generally, no good comes from involving oneself in a situation with that dynamic. I'd never in a million years get involved with him. My question was something else.
Noproblem Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Well, I'm quite sure he has no "feelings" for me. If anything, given how his eyes are always on my body, it's just sexual attraction. But perhaps he is fighting the sexual attraction because he thinks I would not have sex with him. And again, there is always the possibility that he just can't stand me like kaylan said. Maybe he thinks you are very strong and that intimidates him Or maybe he appears to be nice, but he is annoying to anyone once they get to know him! I know some people who like to fight and make it all argument and teasing, it turn them on! It applies for both sex 1
TheGuard13 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 A lot of the time, it's Playground Dynamics at work. You push the girls you like into the mud, etc. Happens with adults, too. PUAs call it "negging". It's usually a form of teasing, looking for some chemistry. 1
2sunny Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 It's completely unacceptable! But an abuser will find out who the next victim is - when they are willing to participate instead of leaving by ending all contact. 2
musemaj11 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Depends. If he was being mean in a joking way then it is flirting.
KungFuJoe Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 That when a guy is unreasonably mean to you, it could be because he likes you? I mean I can see that happening for guys in their childhood or teens. But does it still happen in one's 20s and 30s? Because I do get that sometimes and I find it kind of bizarre that they act that way. One of them I saw today. He kept making fun of me in a rather mean way while at the same time checking me out up and down. To be fair, he is not a very nice guy in general but I feel like with me he takes it to another level. Thoughts? He's mean, has issues, or is a child. Either way...tell me why you care again?
todreaminblue Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I dont feel that mature men would intentionally negg a woman....its a bit boyish......immature.. not very respectful...deb
soccerrprp Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 That when a guy is unreasonably mean to you, it could be because he likes you? I mean I can see that happening for guys in their childhood or teens. But does it still happen in one's 20s and 30s? Because I do get that sometimes and I find it kind of bizarre that they act that way. One of them I saw today. He kept making fun of me in a rather mean way while at the same time checking me out up and down. To be fair, he is not a very nice guy in general but I feel like with me he takes it to another level. Thoughts? Any person, whether male or female, that does this is to be avoided. It gives you a glimpse of their thinking process and it's not healthy. 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Any person, whether male or female, that does this is to be avoided. It gives you a glimpse of their thinking process and it's not healthy. I have met guys like that and even if they liked me, they were total a-holes as people It's a very dysfunctional dynamic. It would only be kind of understandable if you did something pretty extreme to offend him. 3
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) That when a guy is unreasonably mean to you, it could be because he likes you? I mean I can see that happening for guys in their childhood or teens. But does it still happen in one's 20s and 30s? Because I do get that sometimes and I find it kind of bizarre that they act that way. One of them I saw today. He kept making fun of me in a rather mean way while at the same time checking me out up and down. To be fair, he is not a very nice guy in general but I feel like with me he takes it to another level. Thoughts? I agree with the - very sane - posters that say it indicates how he process emotions. A colleague of mine with whom I was sort of mates with pulled something similar on me last Friday after some drinking. He called it 'sexual chemistry' . I deleted him off facebook and haven't spoken to him since. Edited April 5, 2013 by Emilia
StanMusial Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Mesmerized has Cooties!!! Mesmerized has Cooties!!! Na na na na na na!!!
Radu Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 OP, he most likely has a crush on you. I wouldn't confront him about it if i were you, no good can come out of it, unless he persists in this behaviour despite your asking him to stop. In case he persists, you would do well to have a talk with him. And for the record, some of the suggestions presented here [or examples even], were pretty hurtfull [to not call them disgusting] Hurtfull in the sense that empathy is a foreign concept. It really is not that fun when you are on the other side, and you have high levels of anxiety [or are even full blown avoidant] when interacting with ppl, only to desperately push it down because you believe you have no chance; and when you finally accomplish this, to be avoided like crazy. While ppl like them lacking social programming to interpret the unspoken in social interaction is not your responsability, communication is a 2 way street.
Emilia Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 And for the record, some of the suggestions presented here [or examples even], were pretty hurtfull [to not call them disgusting] Hurtfull in the sense that empathy is a foreign concept. It really is not that fun when you are on the other side, and you have high levels of anxiety [or are even full blown avoidant] when interacting with ppl, only to desperately push it down because you believe you have no chance; and when you finally accomplish this, to be avoided like crazy. While ppl like them lacking social programming to interpret the unspoken in social interaction is not your responsability, communication is a 2 way street. The guy I mentioned in my post has no social anxiety. He f**ks girls in the lavatory of our local pub every now and then. I think the experiences some of us referred to relate to callous guys, not insecure ones. 1
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