robaday Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My ex, who had launched a horrific campaign of insults half a year after a break up (she broke up with me) calling me abusive, shxxxthead, dipshxxxxt, asxxxhole, manipulative, scumbag, cheat, pay for sex, etc etc, then invited me to an event recently and has asked to see me several times. I asked her about all the stuff she had thrown at me and whether she believed it was true, and she denied saying it. So I told her I want absolutely nothing to do with her again, told her I was scared of what she had spread about me, scared of what she was capable of. Is that harsh? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 I asked her about all the stuff she had thrown at me and whether she believed it was true, and she denied saying it. That is concerning. Whether she remembers doing those things yet just denies them or truly forgot doing them, it doesn't matter. Both possibilities are worrisome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robaday Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 I had messages in my phone still, and she denied sending them - either she really did forget or she lied. It would have been understandable if id broken up with her but she finished it and i had tried to fix it. She cut all ties, then launched an unprovoked attack on me. Thing that bothers me it was her sending abusive messages, while calling me abusive so I really cant put myself in a position of playing into her crap. I gotta cut her off Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Yeah, just stay away. My ex did all this stuff to me and then acts like he didn't do anything at all. He is sick. She sounds sick too. Stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robaday Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 She says my comments stabbed her in the heart. But she put me in a really really dangerous situation for a guy to be in, by asking me not to contact her, then bombarding me with abuse 5 months later. Feel strongly she was projecting and gaslighting dont know if she knows she was doing it even. Why cant they just say sorry? Why is that so difficult? They say they miss us fine, they say they think of us fine.......but they cant just say that magic simple word Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Well my ex is a sociopath, so in his case he is unable to feel remorse. I don't know about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 My ex, who had launched a horrific campaign of insults half a year after a break up (she broke up with me) .... then invited me to an event recently.Rob, if she has strong BPD traits as we discussed in April 2012, that behavior is exactly what you should expect. One hallmark of such traits is the flipping between loving and hating someone. My BPDer exW, for example, had me arrested on a bogus charge and thrown into jail for 3 days. She was genuinely convinced that I was a violent man who was fabricating a new lie every week. And she told my five step kids exactly that. Yet, even before our D was finalized, she kept wanting to be friends with me and kept calling, wanting to get together. After the D, she called me every two weeks for 8 months -- until I asked her to stop calling. Five years have sinced passed and she still occasionally calls but I don't answer the phone. BPDers have such fragile egos that they cannot tolerate ambiguities, uncertainties, or other grey areas. They therefore frequently do all-or-nothing thinking, wherein they shoe horn everyone into a black or white box. It is most evident in the way they categorize everyone as "all good" (i.e., with me) or "all bad" (i.e., against me) -- and in a few seconds they will recategorize someone from one polar extreme to the other based solely on a trivial comment or infraction. This "black-white thinking" also will be evident in their frequent use of extreme expressions such as "you ALWAYS...," "you did NOTHING ...," and "you NEVER...." Rob, if you would like to read more about BPD traits, I suggest you read my description of them in Rebel's thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/275289-crazy-i-think-but-i-love-her-anyway#post3398735. If that description rings a bell, I would be glad to discuss it with you and point you to good online resources. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 My ex, who had launched a horrific campaign of insults half a year after a break up (she broke up with me) calling me abusive, shxxxthead, dipshxxxxt, asxxxhole, manipulative, scumbag, cheat, pay for sex, etc etc, then invited me to an event recently and has asked to see me several times. I asked her about all the stuff she had thrown at me and whether she believed it was true, and she denied saying it. So I told her I want absolutely nothing to do with her again, told her I was scared of what she had spread about me, scared of what she was capable of. Is that harsh? She is manipulative, and conniving!!! Stay as far away from her, as you can!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author robaday Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Its cool, she aint been in touch again and I wont contact her again. Guess I didnt really think this stuff happened in real life - never had an ex threaten to assault me before! she was the one who had broken it off, she was the one who had cut all ties, she was also the one who had been logging into online dating websites while we were together - guess if anything it was me who had been screwed over not her!!! How she can possibly think that any of her behavior is ok is beyond me. Her last words were "we could have been on better terms" I mean really??? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts