lastresort Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Well things were going really good with the ex. We were slowly hanging out. Yesterday I went to her sons play and after back to her house and hung out until his baseball game, I am one of the coaches. While I was on the field coaching she asked for my phone, she forgot hers, to call her mom about the game. My mistake was I just let her keep the phone through the game. After the game we went to eat then to my sons play. I noticed at dinner she was acting funny. Sure enough she decided to read through my text messages with friends about our breakup. She was mad and was ready to take it out on me. After the play she dropped me off at home and called me after her son went to bed. she started asking me about things that i had texted one friend in-particular. I never said anything bad just wanted advice, he has been through 2 divorces and lost many girls since. The only thing i had mentioned was guess who is picking her son up from school again today. Another time i mentioned I was at a pizza place with my sons and her son and that i was chatting with a nice single mom. But that was it, probably the worst thing that was on there. Now she is telling me we moved to fast to reconcile our relationship and she needs time to focus on herself and figure out what she wants. She told me she feels she is using me, although she says she isn't. She doesnt work and she moved back in with her parents. I have been thinking today about what an easy life she has, 29y/o living at her parents. Her day consist of going to the gym and laying out on the patio with her girlfriends. She says she is looking for a job to support her and her son so she can get out of her parents house. I let her know today that she is about to lose one for the best things her and her son has. If she takes too long i will move on and not look back. Any ways I just need some advice. I am not even mad that she looked through my messages, like i said there was nothing in there that i thought was bad, even reread them like 3 times last night to see what was so upsetting. Thanks for any advice. PEACE
Sososad Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 She's probably just read advice and the suggestions your friend Gave you and is trying to counter act that advice and throw you some curve balls .. I could be wrong but some exs just love mind games.. Who knows but it was a pretty cheap thing to go through your messages.. Sounds like your a good guy to me .. Guess time will tell but sounds like she's the one who will be sorry in the end
richard9 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 If she doesnt have a job and has lots of time on her hands it gives her time to THINK, to most of us that would be a recipe for disaster, we would dwell and become even more hurt and miss what we have lost. If she shows no signs of this I think thete is little interest there. Just my opinion and I hope things work out.
Author lastresort Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 She's probably just read advice and the suggestions your friend Gave you and is trying to counter act that advice and throw you some curve balls .. I could be wrong but some exs just love mind games.. Who knows but it was a pretty cheap thing to go through your messages.. Sounds like your a good guy to me .. Guess time will tell but sounds like she's the one who will be sorry in the end SOSO... I agree with the mind games, she told a good friend of ours that she still wants me back but she still needs a little space first and find a job. I had supported her and her son for almost 2 years, not complaining, just the type of guy i am, and she knows this about me. As far as the messages, I am not even mad. I dont care if i had something to hide from her i would of stood there and then taken my phone back from her. I did delete a series of text messages from a girl that wanted to go out tonight, when i went through my D this girl was "there for me" and she said would be fun to go out with her "boyfriend" again. luckily that was deleted just in case this happened.
Author lastresort Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 If she doesnt have a job and has lots of time on her hands it gives her time to THINK, to most of us that would be a recipe for disaster, we would dwell and become even more hurt and miss what we have lost. If she shows no signs of this I think thete is little interest there. Just my opinion and I hope things work out. rich... exactly, too much free time=to much thinking. She shows it, i know she misses it even tells me she misses me but she has to stick to her guns and her goals, which i respect. I just dont know how to stop pursuing her. NC wont work because the job she has is working for me one day a week, we photograph weddings, and i know she needs that money to support her son so i do not want to take that away from her.
Author lastresort Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 One more thing. She still has stuffed stored in my rafters in the garage and in my attic. They are not in my way it doesnt bother me, we are still "friends" at this point. I feel if i tell her to come get it it would be like a dagger in her. Plus it would be a royal pain in my butt to get up in the rafters and get her crap down. Our history goes back more than 15 years... so I know she will always have some part in my life. Her 2 sisters are my friends too and they still talk to me.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 rich... exactly, too much free time=to much thinking. She shows it, i know she misses it even tells me she misses me but she has to stick to her guns and her goals, which i respect. I just dont know how to stop pursuing her. NC wont work because the job she has is working for me one day a week, we photograph weddings, and i know she needs that money to support her son so i do not want to take that away from her. Then no contact about things that aren't work-related. Stay polite and professional but pull back besides that. Now isn't the time to push.
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