Happypuppy Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Hi! Would it be ok if one sent a congratulation message to the ex (the dumper) after you heard his daughter was born? NC since August, and feeling fine about the whole thing Just wondering if it would be considered invasion of privacy or something.. One of the last things he told me was that he didn't think we could be friends because of his feelings towards me and what happened with us. But at the same time I would like to let him know that I'm truly happy for him and wish him the best of luck. Any thoughts? Don't want to upset him, more like smooth things over and be a bigger person.
richard9 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Hi! Would it be ok if one sent a congratulation message to the ex (the dumper) after you heard his daughter was born? NC since August, and feeling fine about the whole thing Just wondering if it would be considered invasion of privacy or something.. One of the last things he told me was that he didn't think we could be friends because of his feelings towards me and what happened with us. But at the same time I would like to let him know that I'm truly happy for him and wish him the best of luck. Any thoughts? Don't want to upset him, more like smooth things over and be a bigger person. The thing that worries me here is that you initially want to send a short message of congratulations perhaps only a few words, but then you add that you want to smooth thingd over. By the sounds of it he was very hurt, and now when he is at a high point in his life you want to message him. In my own opinion and others may disagree you should respect his wishes an continue nc with him. If he wants to share the news with you and initiate contact then im sure he will do so, however up until then it would not be fair to intrude on this. Just my opinion.
geegirl Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Seeing that he stated he does not believe you both can be friends, it's safe to say that he was not looking to maintain any sort of contact with you. I am sure by him not reaching out to you at any point in time since the break-up is an indication that he has been perfectly fine with the arrangement. I would respect his wishes and let him be. I am sure he has enough family and friends to share his joy. Wish him well in your heart and move on.
Author Happypuppy Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 You are right, I should not bother him. If I ever run into him I can congratulate him then or something. I did not mean "smooth things over" as in having a conversation or talk about the past, but that a congratulation would be the right thing to do, and therefore would be seen as a nice gesture from an old friend. I think he was hurt and greaving when he left me and that was why he told me we could never be friends, and that he would be over it by now. If you are over someone, you are over them, right? You don't feel angry or sad about it?So I only figured that since he is over me I couldn't upset him. Him not contacting me is no surprise, since our relationship was so on-off and we had done that dance so many times; he knew he was destroying me with that crap and felt really guilty as well I think. So he would be nice enough not to sirr up that pot without knowing that I am completely fine without him. But I will leave this be, you are right Thanks!
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