3 months since the break up.. general mood / feelings.

[calgary]

For anybody that's followed my threads you can probably just skip the first paragraph I just want to give a quick run down for anybody new going through the first week to a month.

 

Basically I was really in love for 18 months I didn't want the relationship to come to an end but I had to end it because she was flirting with other guys infront of me and getting distant. it absolutely devastated me that she wouldn't stop or consider my feelings and instead chose to tell me that she didn't want a relationship right now. I didn't know what to do so I went no contact for a week.. she dropped me a breadcrumb to see how I was . I just responded saying I was good and didn't ask her back. heard rumours she went out with the intentions of hooking up with somebody she works with.. 2 weeks later she asked to exchange stuff. wanted to meet for coffee, we had a catchup, she didn't want a relationship still but wanted to be friends. I said no and removed all contact. bumped into her drunk a week later, started giving me all her life problems, so we started texting daily, met up the week after for coffee, where she told me she was self harming and suicidal and loved and missed me, gave me cuddles, held my hand.. but didn't want a relationship.

week later she accuses me of dumping her for somebody else, wouldn't talk to me about it, tells me to text her.. I never do. 2 weeks later i'm stood with my friend who she doesn't even know ( met twice whilst I stood and spoke to him in the past)

I tell her to F*ck off . he starts getting a bit sketchy.. 2 weeks later they're in a relationship. they've been together possibly 3 weeks now. I went out this weekend and she tried to talk to me but I just told her to go away and didn't listen to a word she had to say. I went out on a date with a new girl this weekend it was okay. but I feel as though I kept comparing her to my ex, it was too soon but I just figured there was a nice girl after me, i'd be really excited about it if i'd never met my ex so why let a horrible person like her ruin this opportunity I have? but I've lost all my confidence i'm really shy and so is the new girl... my ex's best friend text me the night I took this girl out asking if I was sleeping with her.. 3 days after I blocked my ex / she got in a relationship with my old friend , her brother text me accusing me of hacking her email. the night after I told her to 'F*ck off' her other best friend text me to see how I was.

 

 

 

Overall, i'd say it's actually been pretty harsh and horrible. I've been really upset, I've felt that despair, I've felt lost and lonely and depressed.

 

I've taken Prozac for about a month ( I had other problems that got me down in life) but I've got to say the Prozac really does seem to have improved my feelings significantly already.. it may not be the Prozac ? I may have just learnt to not care as much as I did. but I no longer struggle to fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks unable to fall back to sleep.

 

I've lost 28 lbs and I didn't even weigh all that much to start with.

 

I feel like I've wasted time laying around feeling sorry for myself. but I needed to get over the sadness we all need to let out our feelings I think.

I went very quiet and depressing and talked about the same things on repeat constantly irritating my family and friends.. but since the Prozac that seems to have stopped .

 

I think overall I made the right decision to give her an ultimatum. I think telling her to stop holding hands / flirting with other guys or come get your stuff was fair to start with.. but everything she's done since the break up has only proved more that I made the right decision.. I feel good for that. I could have invested so much more time and money and more feelings into this person that would have probably just stabbed me in the back 5 years down the line instead of 18 months.. good job i'm not married or kids involved.

 

logically I know i'm better off on my own.. but my heart is still broken and i'm still feeling sorry for myself and wondering how people can be so cruel when all I wanted was to make her happy. I wish I could stop feeling like that.

 

I do crave the day that their relationship ends and they both apologise to me .. I do hope she comes crawling back, I do hope she regrets it.. but don't we all ? and like mack05 said to me really ' why?' how will it improve your life? where will it get you knowing a selfish idiot made a mistake and feels bad about it.. it's best to just get these people completely out of our lives and brains for good.

That obviously doesn't happen over night.

 

I feel good most of the time. I hope I get a chance with this new girl I hope it works out and we both get over the shy awkward phase soon.. I suppose most girls like that phase and excitement ? but I like comfort to be honest.

 

over all I don't love or care about my ex at all. i'm just struggling to get over the hate I have for her. I just feel angry and disappointed and full of regret. hopefully i'll get over this phase soon.. but it's a better phase than the desperation and the loneliness and worrying.

 

everything I could have wished wouldn't have happened has happened and it's made it clear to me that it's over with. it got done sooner than expected. I suppose in a way that was a blessing. I could have still clung on hoping and praying.

 

 

I know I shouldn't ask this question and I get a lot of stick for asking this question and as I've stated above it really doesn't matter.. but do you think she still thinks about me daily or has dreams about me ever? i'd find it hard to just switch off and be with someone new because i'd still think of my ex a lot. she has said to people she feels guilty.. do you think I will ever hear from her or get a birthday text ?

just curiosity and placing bets.

[jjjman]

I think she does think about you because 18 months is not a short time. However, I m not sure if she thinks about you or dream about you everyday since she already have a new bf. I know our situation is completely different but as a dumpee, I think about my ex all the time(everyday) even after two months later. Yes I agree with you that it is extremely difficult to just switch off especially when you have loved someone so deeply. It is very normal, I think.

 

Will she send you a B-day text? I don't know but if she still wants to be your friend, I think she will have to send you one for good gesture. These are just my opinions.

[Chi townD]

WHOA!!! WHOA!!! Wait a minute! I must of miss the thread where she approached you over the weekend! When the hell did that happen? Before or after your "awkward" date? I'm totally out of the loop here! And why did you put yourself in a situation where you would run into her?

[calgary]

I didn't expect to run into her! the new girl wanted to take me to this bar where all my friends go anyway so I went and my ex showed up.. she came over so I told her to go away, she walked off I didn't catch what she said whilst she was walking away, but then her best friend text me asking if I was sleeping with the new girl.

 

her friends kept bad mouthing her to me and in fairness a lot of them came with me to another bar and left her which was pretty surprising . they all seemed to feel sorry for me and were really nice to me, never really spoke about her all night. introduced them to the new girl was cool.

[Chi townD]

I didn't expect to run into her! the new girl wanted to take me to this bar where all my friends go anyway so I went and my ex showed up.. she came over so I told her to go away, she walked off I didn't catch what she said whilst she was walking away, but then her best friend text me asking if I was sleeping with the new girl.

 

her friends kept bad mouthing her to me and in fairness a lot of them came with me to another bar and left her which was pretty surprising . they all seemed to feel sorry for me and were really nice to me, never really spoke about her all night. introduced them to the new girl was cool.

 

Well, no wonder your first date was terrible! You had that crap on your mind and probably put you in a bad mood. You may say that you weren't but you may have put off that vibe and not even realize it.

 

Well, looks like she wanted to unload her guilt, she just had incredibly bad timing. Oh, and she probably called you a douche bag as she walked off. You need give her what she wanted.