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Two shy people


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Posted

I'll try to keep it short and simple.

 

Some Background:

 

Met a girl a year ago, slept with her, she got into a relationship, no contact for a year. She goes out of the relationship, we start hanging as friends, we start making out occasionally (and a bit more).

 

Now, I'm shy, but if you don't really know me, I actually come across as a confident extrovert person. Same happens with this girl, before she told me she was really shy, I actually thought quite the opposite of her.

 

We started going out together, just the two of us. At first by chance, then a few times she asked me which one of our friends I wanted along. Here my answer was usually something along the lines of "It's the same to me" or "Whomever you want". Which ended in just the two of us, and later she wouldn't even ask.

 

More to the point:

 

We went out yesterday and today. Yesterday we just went for a few beers to a place where she might be working soon. And today we went to watch a movie (she had mentioned she wanted to go see a movie a few times and today she texted me asking me about theater schedules, so I did the obvious thing and asked her out). We had a really great time at the movies, and then decided to go for a beer to the same place than last night. The thing is there were a few times like walking to the car, or sharing a cigarette where there were plenty of opportunities to kiss her, but neither of us (me out of shyness and her too, I'm guessing) did anything. The previous times we kissed we'd be a bit tipsy, she'd punch my arm or something similar, then we'd wrestle for a minute or two and that would lead to a kiss.

 

Also she shows signs that she likes me, I make her laugh a lot, she makes small contact like hitting me playfully and we chat or text each other daily.

 

The question:

 

Being both admittedly shy, what can I do to avoid this kind of "stall"?

 

P.S: Both of us are not very comfortable with commitment or relationships.

Posted

If neither of you are comfortable with commitment or relationships, then I don't understand what the problem is?

Why not just continue the way you are?

Posted

Honesty can help......

  • Author
Posted

Yeah we're kinda friends with benefits. (KINDA) But that's not a problem at all. The thing is the shyness that stops us from being closer without alcohol.

 

Honesty can help......

 

We both know we're shy. And we're a bit more than friends, but no more. So what do you mean by honesty?

Posted

I mean you both know you are shy

So you need to talk more about this issue and find a solution

  • Author
Posted
I mean you both know you are shy

So you need to talk more about this issue and find a solution

 

Well, it's not like we're in a relationship or anything so what should I tell her? "Yeah I wanna kiss you know, but I need to grow a pair because I'm a spineless jello"

Posted

Haha, spineless jello

Say tht to her, she'll probably giggle and tell you to kiss her.

Do it!

Posted
Don't tell her anything. Be a man and kiss her. If you ask her can I kiss you she's going to think you're a straight up tool.

 

Not always true Soulface.

Girls like to be asked to be kissed sometimes, it's sweet.

  • Like 1
Posted
I used to ask girls to kiss them when I was less confident.

 

It actually worked very well.

 

Are you flirting with me?

  • Author
Posted
Don't tell her anything. Be a man and kiss her. If you ask her can I kiss you she's going to think you're a straight up tool.

 

Do or die, huh?

 

I guess I missed a pretty good shot tonight. I mean it was a textbook date, movies, drinks. Both having a great time...

Posted
Would you like to kiss me?

 

No thanks.

  • Like 1
Posted
Dude, didn't you say you banged her already?

 

I don't understand the problem.

 

Only drunk.

He wants the sober bones.

Posted
A bone is a bone imho.

 

This is why I wouldn't kiss you.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Yeah we slept together a year ago or so. But we had a few too many glasses of wine. Now I've gotten pretty far, but she'd usually say she wouldn't "do stuff" that night. I don't feel rejected either because I know for a fact how she rejected some guys I know and she was very clear about it.

Posted
"May I stick my penis in you?"

 

Does that work too?

 

 

if you want to wear a drink i guess....deb

Posted
if you want to wear a drink i guess....deb

 

Haha!!

Hello Deb!

  • Author
Posted

Guess it all comes down to "Grow a pair"

 

Last question, so I can feel a little more confident. Are the signs described above a clear show of interest? I can provide more examples or details if needed.

Posted (edited)
Guess it all comes down to "Grow a pair"

 

Last question, so I can feel a little more confident. Are the signs described above a clear show of interest? I can provide more examples or details if needed.

 

Yes!

She's a keen bean.

Edited by Lani
Posted

Generally if a girl lets you inside her and sees you again after that she likes you.....

  • Like 2
Posted
Guess it all comes down to "Grow a pair"

 

Last question, so I can feel a little more confident. Are the signs described above a clear show of interest? I can provide more examples or details if needed.

 

She's interested. Here's a suggestion. Give her a long, warm hug. Keep your arms around her while looking at her. You'll be able to see her face. Then go in for the kiss. Whatever way you do it, go for it.

Posted
The thing is the shyness that stops us from being closer without alcohol.

 

Here's my opinion: When you're compatible with someone you feel comfortable around them, even when you're shy. When you meet someone with whom you will have a deep emotional connection with, getting close is surprisingly easy.

 

It shouldn't be this hard. Are you sure you're emotionally compatible?

Posted

Just kiss her. Don't ask for permission. Just do it.

Posted
Just kiss her. Don't ask for permission. Just do it.

 

Watch the OP gets punched again in the gut when he goes in for the kiss.

  • Author
Posted

Well I won't be going out with her until next week. But I will definitely take my chances next time the opportunity presents itself.

 

Watch the OP gets punched again in the gut when he goes in for the kiss.

 

I'm a black belt. I get punched all the time :p

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