Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 They all the same. I dated one before him and it's just the same but it was different reason. I know I feel like I'm bothering you but I'm sorry :/.. So, if lets say he wanted to come back and I told him that i can't but we can stay friends until you can prove that you worth it. Would that be ok or no? The thing is that he was always there for me, when I need him he would help me, and his eyes tears when he feels that he did something wrong. I know you will say that I still making an excuse but I'm just telling you how it was before.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 He also wanted to go to the army so he can marry me but it didn't happen yet. He also thought that if it happened we would get engaged on 2014 and get married after that. It's not that I want to get married now but I'm just saying he thought about everything. He tried to find another work so he can be able to afford everything and that was two months ago before this happened.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 They all the same. I dated one before him and it's just the same but it was different reason. I know I feel like I'm bothering you but I'm sorry :/.. So, if lets say he wanted to come back and I told him that i can't but we can stay friends until you can prove that you worth it. Would that be ok or no? The thing is that he was always there for me, when I need him he would help me, and his eyes tears when he feels that he did something wrong. I know you will say that I still making an excuse but I'm just telling you how it was before. You should be done with this guy. Cheating is an awful thing. And all of these little cute memories you have aren't relevant now. I just really don't understand how you can have so little respect for yourself to consider all of this. I would be furious and not want anything to do with this person, but you seem to think cheating is OK. But it's your life and you are going to do what you want to do.
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 They all the same. I dated one before him and it's just the same but it was different reason. I know I feel like I'm bothering you but I'm sorry :/.. So, if lets say he wanted to come back and I told him that i can't but we can stay friends until you can prove that you worth it. Would that be ok or no? The thing is that he was always there for me, when I need him he would help me, and his eyes tears when he feels that he did something wrong. I know you will say that I still making an excuse but I'm just telling you how it was before. Amy, I'm a guy and know that being friends won't work. It's not just b/c I'm a guy. In your situation and from what I have read, you don't seem the type strong enough to establish clear boundaries and stick with them WHILE YOU ARE "FRIENDS" WITH AN EX who's cheated on you. First of all, you have to admit that you are exes in order to be friends. Can you do that? Can you and are you willing to let him do what he wants while you are trying to be friends? Not easy and not recommended. He doesn't want to be your friend. He sounds like a jerk. You certainly don't want to be friends with such people, right? Do you want selfish, cheating ***-wipes as a friend? No. Here's something else to consider. What of this other girl? Did he also use her for sex? Or did she dump him? So, now dumped he comes back to you? Think about this again...please. He's not even friend material. Wish him well and move on....
Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 I guess I'm just too nice. If I was a bitch he would come crawling
Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 btw! we never had sex and he never asked me for sex.
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 btw! we never had sex and he never asked me for sex. Frankly, that doesn't make it any better. So, he found another girl for sex. Why? B/c we couldn't and wouldn't wait for you. Or perhaps he's not that interested in you physically? Don't make this into a fairy-tale. He didn't ask you for sex, okay, but he cheated and found it elsewhere. You were together for a year and a half? And no sex for him until recently? Hmmm, I'd not be surprised if this other girl was not his first or someone he'd been seeing while with you. Amy, he did you wrong and it was intentional, premeditated, calculated and contemptible. In the end, it will be your decision as to what you do, but people here are giving good advice.
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 So, you think he will never change? or try to change? Why should he? he's basically running the show the way he wants to - what's his motivation to change? Oh, he could say he will change all he wants. What matters is the effort he puts into it. Actions speak louder than words. Never, ever forget this. Talk is cheap. Actions are what count.... So, if lets say he wanted to come back and I told him that i can't but we can stay friends until you can prove that you worth it. Would that be ok or no? Absolutely, totally, positively, completely OUT OF THE QUESTION! Do not in any way shape or form put this offer on the table anywhere, any time any how! The thing is that he was always there for me, when I need him he would help me, and his eyes tears when he feels that he did something wrong. I know you will say that I still making an excuse but I'm just telling you how it was before.[/] Yeah, it's amazing what a man like him can do to melt your heart... and every time, you fell for it, right? He also wanted to go to the army so he can marry me but it didn't happen yet. He also thought that if it happened we would get engaged on 2014 and get married after that. Actions, dear heart, actions.... not words..... It's not that I want to get married now but I'm just saying he thought about everything. He tried to find another work so he can be able to afford everything and that was two months ago before this happened. Yah-huh... that was 'then', this is 'now'.... I guess I'm just too nice. If I was a bitch he would come crawling There's a fine line between 'nice' and 'needy'. Hate to say it Amy, but this thread is a fine balance.....
LoveB86 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) Amy, Hun, you have put yourself in such a vulnerable cannot live my life without him situation. He cheated on you twice and maybe more, that should tell you that he does not have your heart in his best interest. Sex or not, whether he didn't pressure you too, still does not justify that it was okay for him to go outside of your committed relationship and you should not be accepting to this behavior. It's absolutely wrong! In no way should you even feel bad for not having sex with him. Yes, sex is a huge part of the relationship for probably most people, but you do it when you're ready and he should respect that. Please, do not accept this behavior. It is wrong on all levels and how can you even trust this man ever? All trust is out the door when I find out you cheated, but to admit to having sex with someone else while in a relationship is completely done went over the normalcy. I could never trust anyone after that. I know you love this guy alot, you are seeing thru rose color glasses not even trying to look at this situation from the outside. You really need to stop letting this man in and out of the relationship. It's all up to you if you want to give him another chance, but I am telling you, you think this is bad? Invest more time into this and see what happens! I say you need to change the door lock (aka end the relationship) and let him stay out!!! Edited April 6, 2013 by LoveB86
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Amy, YOU DESERVE BETTER. It's that simple....that simple.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Thank you for your help and advice. Im still really depressed i dont know how will I continue withouy crying. I want to stop crying but it never works!
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Thank you for your help and advice. Im still really depressed i dont know how will I continue withouy crying. I want to stop crying but it never works! It's okay to cry. It's a painful thing to go through. It's okay to cry. I'm crying with you. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but remember that you are entitled to believe and should know that you deserve much more than this guy is offering. After some time it will cease and you will be okay.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 But I cant trust another guy. I would not believe them. I wish he would feel sorry and change . I just cant believe he did this to me. He wanted a faithful girl who love him and I gave him everything.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 But I cant trust another guy. I would not believe them. I wish he would feel sorry and change . I just cant believe he did this to me. He wanted a faithful girl who love him and I gave him everything. In the future, be cautious, but actions mean MUCH more than words. Sometimes you just won't know, but this is not the end of the world nor the end of your pursuit in finding that great guy. This experience should not be about ALL men being jerks, rather, some are smooth and by observation, you will be able to see what and how people truly are. Learn from this. After a prolonged period of no contact, perhaps he will change. Let's hope so...but you are not ready, nor is he willing at this time to provide the stability and honesty you need.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 But I cant trust another guy. I would not believe them. I wish he would feel sorry and change . I just cant believe he did this to me. He wanted a faithful girl who love him and I gave him everything. You can't control how others act. You can only control how you react to their actions. Instead of "not trusting guys" again, learn how to set boundaries. Figure out what is acceptable and what is not and carry that into your relationships. Control what you can control and stick by your guns at all times. 1
Author Amy4452 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 The problem is he showed me he cared alot thats why I trust him more. He did everything, so I thought i can trust him
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 The problem is he showed me he cared alot thats why I trust him more. He did everything, so I thought i can trust him And in the end showed you that he didn't care, didn't respect you and wasn't worth the salt in his sweat by cheating and continuing with it even after you forgave him.... That's not a problem. He simply never really cared and his ACTIONS showed it. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 The problem is he showed me he cared alot thats why I trust him more. He did everything, so I thought i can trust him Well, he betrayed you now, so now it's time to move on. But you need to learn to set boundaries. Construct limits and stick to them. Control what you can control.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Aha! Thank you for your time. I appreciate it alot!
Author Amy4452 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 So, I start crying again I can't help it anymore. The other day he txted my friend saying that no one loves her like I do and I'm trying to win her back and I'm thinking of solution I want to be in her life. But he didn't txt me yet. I don't know what should I do, is he trying to change is he ever gonna txt me ? I was ok on the last two days but now I just can't help it.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 HI Soccerrprp, I need your help. Can you read my last post plz:(
soccerrprp Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 So, I start crying again I can't help it anymore. The other day he txted my friend saying that no one loves her like I do and I'm trying to win her back and I'm thinking of solution I want to be in her life. But he didn't txt me yet. I don't know what should I do, is he trying to change is he ever gonna txt me ? I was ok on the last two days but now I just can't help it. Amy, YOU KNOW what this guy is capable of and it's not good. You will need to decide whether you want to give him another chance and risk getting hurt again. You know that he is capable of being dismissive and deceiving. These are the facts. You have no idea if he is truly honest about changing or if he'll change. What happens when the next pretty girl comes along? In the end, you need to make the decision. Make him prove his worth, if you are intent on going back to him. No sex for a very long period of time. Or simply delete his number. Why is he telling your friend? Why isn't he pouring his heart out to you directly?
Author Amy4452 Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 because she txted him first. She asked him why you doing this to the girl. are you gonna fix what you did so he told her that. He told her that no one loves her more than I do and I'm trying to fix what I did but he didn't txt yet. I dont know what I am suppose to do and I'm really tired. There's no one to help me.
Author Amy4452 Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 Is there a way I can keep contact you, like an email or somethin, if you want.
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