Author MoreThanThat Posted April 18, 2013 Author Posted April 18, 2013 I am surprised beign a successful career woman that you are being so naive and blind. First of all, theres no guarantee you wont be "in limbo" after/if you do meet him. You could meet, hook up, not hook up, have amazing sex, laugh all tnight, whatever...go back to your town and continue to be in limbo. To clarify - other than about 8 weeks, we'll be in the same location for the rest of the year. I don't have to travel again for a couple of months after I arrive. 4 of the trips I have to take he will be on as well.
clia Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Honestly, if he can't make an hour to actually meet you in person after daily phone talks for the past five (?) weeks, that tells you everything you need to know.
Author MoreThanThat Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 So an update - we're going out for dinner on a proper date a few days after I get in. It's the soonest time we both have more than a couple of hours free after I get in. ' It doesnt matter. I wasnt talking about the distance thing. I was talking about him not seeming gung-ho or sure of a relationship with you. In your head, you rpobably chalk that up to having not met and the distance, which could be true. but that doesnt mean after/if you meet that he will know all of a sudden what he wants and make you his girlfriend. He could still be wishy washy, hot/cold, disappear for times, be vague about his wants/desires in terms of you. You are just way too invested in someone you havent even met, and honestly who doesnt seem all that excietd to meet up with you. Seems like you are doing most of the work, and the whole "relationship" seems way too exhausting for having not even met -- having long talks about "issues" , expectations, ect. You should be dating other people and just veiwing him as a friend and potential romantic interest right now. To clarify - I've NEVER chased him. He's acted attention wise as if we were in a relationship when we weren't or hadn't gotten there. I've never called him, suggested calls/Skype. He initiates almost all text/email communication. I am the one to end every exchange. If you put yourself in my shoes - someone you hadn't met but who seemed like a fabulous guy - started communicating with you for at least a couple hours a day most days without fail. From a text in the morning, to texts before going to bed. Where it wasn't exactly just a friendship but there were lines in place. Where the guy books to go to a couple expensive events you are going to attend in other countries. Where he books to go to an event you are speaking at in another city. Wouldn't you wonder what was going on? Wouldn't you ask? When I had initially asked him what this was, I had said *I* had an issue given we hadn't met - and he threw that back at me more or less. I haven't been perfect myself in all of this and from the talk we had the other day (which was at his request), I realized how much I had been pushing him away without even realizing it. I just have a hard time buying into attachments beyond friendships without meeting. My own history is serial relationships. I've never really dated because I've not had downtime between relationships (at most 3 months since I was 15). I just had an off/on 5 yr relationship end (amicably) a couple weeks before things started to change. Right now, I'm just going to relax. We're meeting in about a week. No, I don't expect either of us will have full certainty from one date. But at least we'll know what direction this could go.
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