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The ultimate college group "hang out" situation...in a hotel...in another city.

Mrlonelyone

By Mrlonelyone
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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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I find myself in a bit of a situation.

 

Those of you who have been here a while know my story. To those of you I don't know, welcome.

 

Soon myself and a group of other students including M will be traveling to a convention in another city. We will be staying in a rather nice hotel which will be given over to this conference for the whole time.

 

 

This is the ultimate college group hang out situation days on end primarily with a small select group. Immersed in something we have all studied for years and are deeply interested in. With, lots of off hours to spend, with really nice hotel rooms and privacy. Privacy which is almost impossible when everyone has room mates and all kinds of people around most of the time. We will be outside the usual campus bubble. (Which given that I am not the typical kind of person around there is probably a good thing.)

 

 

As always with this situation it is rather unsettled. We have done plenty of hanging out on and a bit off campus. We clearly enjoy each others company in a somewhat intimate way. I feel a mutual unsureness, we both have reasons to have reservations.

 

My questions:

 

Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? Traveling "with" someone or a group of someone's who all know eachother?

 

I would like to finally clarify just what's what, but in an organic way. Not by asking. Peoples concious minds often lie and say what they are supposed to. (Be that a Yes, no, or even an I do. ) Any advice on how to best do that in this kind of a situation?

 

This isn't one they have written in the dating books.

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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I don't understand what you're asking. Are you having anxiety about hanging out with your friends in a different city? That's like.. the best time ever.

 

No not about the simple hanging out... hanging out.

 

We are going to a convention related to what we study in school. Of course seminars don't last all day so there will be time for many other fun things. It's a college hang out marathon.

 

M, one of the people on the trip, and I have been drawing closer and closer lately. Now this.

 

Think of it this way. Imagine you are in the early stages of traditional formal dating and then you go on a trip together. How often does that work out favorably?

 

This will be different because it's not quite just to two of us.

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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So just take "M" out to dinner, order a bottle of wine, grab drinks in the hotel lobby and make your move. You'll close for sure.

 

Sure. If anything this trip could clarify how we both feel about each other.

 

Nothing does that like a multi-day trip.

Edited by Mrlonelyone
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Lucky for me, all the people in my research group are fugly :)

  • 2 weeks later...
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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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Lucky for me, all the people in my research group are fugly :)

 

There is nothing in this world better than being romantic with someone who's into your research.

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

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So how did the trip go? Any clarification with M?

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/386434-meeting-folks-age-non-dating-dating-hanging-out-group

 

Is what happened. Which lead to me saying to M that she should meet my folks. Which she basically said would be a good idea.

 

I wasn't some pressure full conversation where labels like boyfriend and girlfriend were applied. But I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!! AHHHHAHAHHHA AHAHH!!! A sure sign of the apocalypse if this proves to be true.

 

There was some static or screening by the fact that other people were around, which took the pressure off but also introduced an element of tension. One member of our group had quite suddenly taken a shine to the same woman.

 

You see M does not like her legal name M. So she stole the id badge of another person who's name could easily be a girls name. This lead the fool who's ID she stole to think she liked him. LMFAO... ROTFL LMFAO! So I would say that M and I are at least more than just friends of any kind. Heck we are about as official as it gets.

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

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http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/386434-meeting-folks-age-non-dating-dating-hanging-out-group

 

Is what happened. Which lead to me saying to M that she should meet my folks. Which she basically said would be a good idea.

 

I wasn't some pressure full conversation where labels like boyfriend and girlfriend were applied. But I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!! AHHHHAHAHHHA AHAHH!!! A sure sign of the apocalypse if this proves to be true.

 

There was some static or screening by the fact that other people were around, which took the pressure off but also introduced an element of tension. One member of our group had quite suddenly taken a shine to the same woman.

 

You see M does not like her legal name M. So she stole the id badge of another person who's name could easily be a girls name. This lead the fool who's ID she stole to think she liked him. LMFAO... ROTFL LMFAO! So I would say that M and I are at least more than just friends of any kind. Heck we are about as official as it gets.

 

 

Wait, I'm confused. What exactly happened to move the relationship into the romantic realm? Forgive me if I am being dense. :)

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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So, this turned out to be a platonic trip, but you think you have a girlfriend because you asked her to meet your parents?????

 

Please tell me there was a multi-night romp in the jacuzzi, presidential suite and on the beach within 24/48 hours????

 

edit: you don't have a girlfriend.

 

Oh please remember that we are all Physicist. Think big bang theory like people in real life.

 

She once talked dirty to me in the form of matrix algebra.

 

She spent some nites with her family or local friends. The last 2 with us, and a large part of that time hanging mostly with me. I wasn't pressing to spend time with her.

 

As for "platonic", I cant say.... you see I came too in my room after a long nite of drinks on the last nite, with at least one hicky on my face. I don't recall details but I had this overall sense of well being.

 

What didn't click the nite before was that other guy wouldn't leave us alone. Even as we discussed going to bed at the same time right in front of him. Even as we walked quickly away from him. It's all good though.

 

I don't think she did him. At the morning talks his head was on the swivel looking for her. I know her and her plans since I was in the car with her and her sisters. So I knew not to expect her. He looked so confused and anxious. Not at all like someone who got lucky.

Edited by Mrlonelyone
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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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Wait, I'm confused. What exactly happened to move the relationship into the romantic realm? Forgive me if I am being dense. :)

 

IMHO the relationship has been in the romantic realm, read the article in my signature line. You know romance and ****ing are not synonymous. Take it from someone who has had much utterly meaningless sex in my lifetime.

 

If I had to put my finger on a moment the relationship changed from mostly friendly and became more and more romantic it is when we held hands and litterally felt a spark. Since then we only grow closer.

 

You see. I have learned with her that the harder I push the farther away she goes. If I sit back and just do me she will come around when she feels like it. The harder one chases her the faster she runs. Plus to be honest even I have had reservations about her.

 

After this trip they are gone.

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

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Posted
IMHO the relationship has been in the romantic realm, read the article in my signature line. You know romance and ****ing are not synonymous. Take it from someone who has had much utterly meaningless sex in my lifetime.

 

If I had to put my finger on a moment the relationship changed from mostly friendly and became more and more romantic it is when we held hands and litterally felt a spark. Since then we only grow closer.

 

You see. I have learned with her that the harder I push the farther away she goes. If I sit back and just do me she will come around when she feels like it. The harder one chases her the faster she runs. Plus to be honest even I have had reservations about her.

 

After this trip they are gone.

 

I think my confusion is due to a generational gap. ;) But I wish you well!

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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I think my confusion is due to a generational gap. ;) But I wish you well!

 

 

Thanks. It is hard to know with my generation and the age gap between me and her. When someone closer to my age puts someone with whom romantic interest is in the air, in a position to get to know their family it means you are very serious about them.

 

With this generation it's hard to know which is more important real life or facebook. I think it is real life for her since we both treat facebook as an ironic parody of real life. I could never be with someone who judges their whole life by how many likes they get.

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