Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I have been friends with this guys for 3 years.. He lives across the country but we keep in touch a lot via text and AIM. When he comes to my town, which is once a month, we hang out sometimes, but rarely.. Cause he comes quicky for work. We talk up to twice a week sometimes.... Sometimes once a month. I always just saw him as a friend and we discuss our love life and share pics. So 3 days ago he came into town and told me to meet at the hotel bar with him and his friends so I did. This time the vibe was different and he told me he has been chasing me forever and our mutual friends and him think im the biggest catch. We were drinking and I didn't know if he was putting me on. We kissed and he told me to come back to NY with him but I laughed it off not thinking he was serious and we had the best kiss ever. I left after a full 20 minute makeout session but he wanted me to stay with him and take me to breakfast in the morning. The full next day he messaged me all day until he left back that night. Been two days and no word. But now I like him.. Which why I was afraid too kiss him in the first place. He keept asking why I was running from him and said he really likes me. Should I message him or just wait until he decides to message me again? I'm scared if we don't keep in touch, he will forget about me. Could he have been serious even though we were drinking?
Lani Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I often trust drunk words over those of a sober person. If you like him, then go for it. Text him and ask when you can see him again. As far as I can see, you have nothing to lose!
Noproblem Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I think he was always in love with you, but was so afraid to say it...I don't think he'll go away, now he's kissed and finally said his real feelings You should keep in touch with him, and like give hints about your new feeling and see what his reaction is! Maybe he was drunk and didn't mean that or maybe he really meant it and you 2 are meant to each other
dasein Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I would wait, he sounds a little hot/cold running, which is flaggy. Wait and see how he conducts contact as a screen. Good luck.
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Which part? That u trust drunk words over sober people. I guess if someone was not being truthful, drinking makes it easier to lie and get a girl in bed. But I can see it your way also.
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 I figure if he was always in love with me, why hasn't he made attempts to see me the other times he was in town? Why was it so hard to meet up with me before? 1
Noproblem Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I figure if he was always in love with me, why hasn't he made attempts to see me the other times he was in town? Why was it so hard to meet up with me before? Because some guys are just like that
Djz05 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I figure if he was always in love with me, why hasn't he made attempts to see me the other times he was in town? Why was it so hard to meet up with me before? Because men are idiots... Even worse when they're in love. Call him, see where it goes. If he clams up or denies it, its his lost. 1
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 I've just made the mistKake of calling guys before and I only feel desperate at the end and they think they have me.
Gottabestrong Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I'd suggest you wait and see if he contacts you again. You normally talk up to twice a week, right? So he should be getting in touch with you soon. If he does not, I would see that as a sign that he is not that interested or changed his mind when he came back home. How did you leave it? You said he messaged you all day before he left. What did you reply? Did you say anything to give him the impression that you are not interested? Since you kissed him he should know you are interested. Unless you said something like "Let's be friends. That kiss was a drunken mistake." I hope some guys will chime in and say what they think. Good luck and keep us posted!
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 He said he had lots of fun the next day. I said I did too. Then he said "u did? U sure?" I guess because I didn't stay.. But he was being isscecure. Then he asked if we could do it again. I said yes. He said good! Then he messaged me when he was on then plane taking off and said "taking off, later you". I said have a good trip and that was it since then. Been 3 days.Sometimes we go a full few months not talking. It depends
debber01 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 He said he had lots of fun the next day. I said I did too. Then he said "u did? U sure?" I guess because I didn't stay.. But he was being isscecure. Then he asked if we could do it again. I said yes. He said good! Then he messaged me when he was on then plane taking off and said "taking off, later you". I said have a good trip and that was it since then. Been 3 days.Sometimes we go a full few months not talking. It depends Why would you go a few MONTHS with no contact? Am I the only one here that smells 'married?' I could be way off base Lamb, and for your sake, I hope that I am. But this dude's actions pretty much scream 'married.' Or at the least LTR in the city where he lives. <shrug> Hope I'm wrong.
Gottabestrong Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Well, that all sounds good. You made sure he knew you were interested. I think the ball is in his corner now. Nothing bad is going to happen if you do, but my advice would be to not contact him and wait till you hear from him. At least give it a week. Good luck and stay strong! (If you need something to distract yourself from him for the time being, I recommend "You lost him at Hello" by Jess McCann. Another poster recommended it, I got it and read it in one go and it really confirmed my belief that I should never chase after a guy. If only for the single reason that I won't feel rejected if he is not interested.)
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Because we were just friends before, nothing had happened. No, he's not married. I've been to his place before and we know at least 30 people in common.
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Well, that all sounds good. You made sure he knew you were interested. I think the ball is in his corner now. Nothing bad is going to happen if you do, but my advice would be to not contact him and wait till you hear from him. At least give it a week. Good luck and stay strong! (If you need something to distract yourself from him for the time being, I recommend "You lost him at Hello" by Jess McCann. Another poster recommended it, I got it and read it in one go and it really confirmed my belief that I should never chase after a guy. If only for the single reason that I won't feel rejected if he is not interested.) Thanks for your help!
Author Lambchoper Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 But I still feel rejected if he doesn't call... If I chase him or not. At least I can make an excuse and blame it on myself if he doesn't call and I chase him hahah
Gottabestrong Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Thanks for your help! My pleasure. Let us know how things turned out!
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