loveydovey982 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 I never admitted my crush on this guy either verbally or written to anyone. Here goes... I've been crushing on him for, it's gotta be, close to 5 years. He is a local store manager. I am a customer and I work there occasionally for an outside company. He has this curly brown hair, brown eyes & weight fluxuates over the years. Whenever I think about him, drive by the store, go To the store, see a truck similar to his and when he looks, smiles and talks to me I feel all ooey and gushy inside ha ha. I am actually not bold and strike up conversations but I am sure the look on my face says it all. soo embarrassing so I make sure to be really casual and nonchalant when he's around, or may be around. Sometimes I don't even look because his presence does it for me. omg. I feel so silly. On this occasion he was unloading something from the bed of his truck. He was setting it on the ground and I reached to pick it up. Imagine, visualize, he and I were stooped over, our eyes meet, lock and for me time stops for those moments. That was like an ah ha! moment when the attraction I had for him turned into a full blown crush. sigh. A couple of years after that happened he initiated a conversation and I thanked him for helping, with what I said in the paragraph above, that I really appreciated it. He said oh I thought that was you but I wasn't sure. Then, how have things been. Idk, it's very awkward for me because I can tell when someone has a crush on me sometimes and I am Sure my crush on him oozes from my presence. I even stopped shopping at that store for awhile because I felt so silly. Like I was a creepy stalker or something . Once I sent a fb friend request and a couple of years later I happened to click on his profile and noticed the friend request sent. So, I was like oh ahh o.k and cancelled the request. Especially after That I felt like such a dork but at least I don't feel like a creepy stalker So, that's about it. I don't know if I feel better or not since admitting it. He's actually been on my mind lately and while I like to ooey gooey sentiment, it's weird because I am Pretty Sure it's not reciprocated.
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 He isn't married or gay. Sometimes it's better to admire from afar than to make a move. I've made moves with others and I'd rather float on with the crush than make a move and it end badly or be rejected. I've been rejected before and it was o.k but I'd rather not be rejected by him. Apparently I've been treating this differently. I am actually enjoying the single life in my 30's and I'd rather not make moves to attempt to change something like initiating a friendship with this crush I've had for years. I've grown complacent with it I suppose. At one time I considered approaching him in a way, but it never happened. Maybe it's not a good time or it wouldn't turn out well. I don't know and I don't need to. He's gotta know I've got eyes for him. Seriously. 1
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 wow, what's your problem. rhetorical.
ses Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Go for it! I know that making a move and being direct can seem stressful but I think you'll feel better. Being rejected does hurt but that's part of life. You'll be told in many different areas of life, not only within love. I've been rejected multiple times but I've also had guys admit an attraction to me. It's very sweet and flattering. I prefer to have it all out there instead of playing a guessing game. Crushes may fade with time but you shouldn't let fear preclude you from pursuing someone. Irrespective of the outcome I'm sure you're strong enough to recover and find the special someone. I just don't want you to have any regrets down the road.
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) What can I say, I like anticipation. As I've said in a previous reply, I've been the rejectee & rejecter. It's not so much that. I made a move in a conversation, i think fall of last year it was late in the year as I remember the weather was nice & there were several nice days last winter, when I thanked him for helping me & therefore suggesting memories. The memories that I had of the eye contact being time stopping and I think if he had/has interest in me then it's his move next. I'll tell you what I do regret & what I don't. I regret getting too ahead of myself, taking chances when I knew it wasn't right yet, if at all. I don't regret knowing myself from the lessons learned. Basically, I know within when, where, how and sometimes why in approaching aspects of life that I may be nervous, apprehensive or have any feeling/thought in regards to. Edited April 5, 2013 by loveydovey982
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Posted April 5, 2013 I was actually about to walk to the corner store, so I went ahead to bag up all to be taken out and spilled it all over the floor, carpet! & tile. While mindlessly cleaning it up a realization struck me that I thought pertinent to share. I would Seriously regret not letting him know about this crush I have if I found out he had gotten married. Which, I imagine, would be posted on his fb? I'm not going to become a stalker since have accepted this realization (which, in hindsight, I've considered in the many years I've melted about the mere thought of him) but I am sure I'd hear about it somewhere. If I found out he was engaged/going to be married I would say something then in that case. A few months ago he had posted something about being in a relationship/dating. I did not concern myself with that because relationships fail all the time. Lol! I didn't want to jump the gun so to speak. Horse in front of the carriage. Right. So, I have an expressed interest in this man & I feel like a weirdo about it now .
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 No, I am curious why you ask though.
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Well, you're getting down to the root of it and my answer is I don't know. I waver in the belief that I am or am not deserving of having someone worthy. It's a shame but true. Perhaps it stems from nurture or society and my own security from either. I've wrangled with it for long time and have yet to make ground in understanding. So until I understand that part of myself a bit better I am not comfortable talking about it. In reiterating, I prefer to put myself under the microscope before others do. Others seeing things about me that I have difficulty understanding bothers me very much, unless I welcome one to scrutinize of course. I think because in the case of another giving their thoughts on such matters, I am forced to sift through, discard or reckon with, their beliefs as well myself to get to the core and that is not only a waste of time but I think it's rude and it makes me vulnerable. Unless, of course, I am prepared or it came from a trusted person. So! I don't know.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 So, maybe you think why would he date me? right? maybe you think you are not attractive enough? If that is the case, you can really do something about your outer look...and try later...Who knows, maybe he'll like your approach and you'll be together Or maybe there is nothing wrong with your look, but you are only afraid of rejection...Well, who knows..maybe he already like you, but he thinks it's not going to happen? Right? In any way. What are you going to lose? What are you going to lose if you asked him out to drink coffee at Starbucks! It's not I love you baby, it's just a simple invitation to someone you've know for so many years! Easier than making an apple pie! You are in you 30's .....You are not a teenager to be shy anymore ...Go for it
Author loveydovey982 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I'd be lying if I said I read all of your previous post the fudge. I'll wait till I'm swooned noproblem, it's o.k. I can wait to see if he is interested enough to approach me. I am fairly new so to verify, I am a bold type of person, adventurous, courageous and strong willed. For me to have this crush for so long and not make bolder steps is out of character. But, in a way, I like it. I get so tired of being headstrong, that I would rather wait and if he is or becomes interested then I would much rather he approach me. Also, I am fairly attractive not a model or anything but I look pretty good and I have a positive outlook on life. If an opportunity had presented itself, I would have approached the getting to know better, but it hasn't and sometimes I become so, soooooo, sooooooooo, exhausted in assuming the role of my will as that is my nature.
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