Seaon09 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I will go into more detail into the situation. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months and we have been bestfriends for a year before we dated. When we were bestfriends, we were always together just never slept together, and now that we are dating we are with eachother all the time and sleep together every night (no sex at times). We both love eachother, and are glad to have eachother around us all the time. People always say that if we are with eachother we will get bored one day and break up, but i find that cannot happen because even before we dated we were together everyday for the year and always had something interesting to do or watch or whatever. We are both in university and live in the same residence. NOW THE PROBLEM: From the beginning of the year, all of our friends hung out together, partied together and drank together. Now that we are dating, we stopped doing alot of partying and our friends are all saying that we hang out to much, etc. They constantly hate when we are together and wish they had the "old" us back. Me and my girlfriend do not let them get to us, because we know we love eachother and we even talked for about 2-3 hours about what they have been saying and we know 100% we cannot get bored at all about eachother. People think we hang out too much and that they never see us apart, which is not true, they just happen to see us when we are together. People always say we will get bored of eachother and we shouldnt hang out all the time because of that. The question now: What should I do, should I listen to what they say? BTW both of our groups of friends are all single, and hard partiers. What is a way I can deal with all of them hating on everything we do and just what we enjoy doing together. Please help, this **** is bothering me, there is only 1 more month left in rez than we will have our own house with our own rooms and housemates.
Shepp Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Its your life mate, youve got to live it as you see fit but ive been on your mates side of fence so to speak. When i was at school a good mate of mine started going out with this lass and i get he loved her but they were NEVER apart! I stopped bothering tbh because i couldnt even have a conversation with the guy without it turning into me talking to myself while she had her tounge down his throat! Once she was off ill and we were just chatting and it struc me that I missed my mate! anyway she broke his heart and who was still there after that, me, & his mates who were there before her! I get you love her, but if these people are proper mates dont you want to spend time with them? If you want my advice it would be dont forget the people who were there before her!
noble Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I don't think it is a problem to spend a lot of time with your significant other if you are both enjoying your time together and each others company. I speak as a girl who spends a lot of time with her boyfriend, and I love his company. However.. do you not want to have any friends other than your girlfriend? It's not a problem that you spend a lot of time with her, but it could be a problem that you don't give any of your other friends the time of day. Romantic relationships are really important, but so are relationship with other people -- friends and family. If you put all your focus on your girlfriend, you might forget about the other important relationships in your life. If you continually choose to hang out with your girlfriend alone, you might wake up one day and realize the two of you no longer have any other friends. I think if you want to see your other friends too, then you should continue to hang out with them, and your girlfriend too. Would it kill you to spend one day a week w/out your girlfriend, maybe hanging out with your friends alone? It's just that as human beings it is important to have balance in your life. You shouldnt put all your focus on one person or one thing, but try to vary your life.. Also, if you are worried at all about your relationship getting boring in the future, that is all the more reason to continue to do things outside of the relationship like hang out with friends or do your own hobbies. that way you have things to talk about when you see each other again. I know i love seeing my boyfriend after he or I have spent some alone time with friends. I feel so excited to see him, which reminds me of the spark we had when we first started dating(its been 5 years now) and I love updating him on all the stuff I did and whats going on with my friends, and I also like hearing about what he does with his friends and new things hes learned about or they showed him. Whatever it may be, cause once you've been together for a long time it is important to be able to bring something to the table.. and the way you do that is by being a full dynamic person..
noble Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Also I wanted to add that you two sound lucky because it sounds like you have the same group of friends. So you don't necessarily have to hang out without her if you want to see your friends, but you two should spend time together with them as a group. Just us it as foreplay or something.. when you spend a few hours together with a group it'll be that much more exciting when you finally get to be alone! Also, if you do hang out as a group don't be all over each other.. talk to other people... work the crowd and dont make out. Nothing is grosser than that one couple who is all over each other at a party.. and you wonder.. why did they even come?
Author Seaon09 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Its your life mate, youve got to live it as you see fit but ive been on your mates side of fence so to speak. When i was at school a good mate of mine started going out with this lass and i get he loved her but they were NEVER apart! I stopped bothering tbh because i couldnt even have a conversation with the guy without it turning into me talking to myself while she had her tounge down his throat! Once she was off ill and we were just chatting and it struc me that I missed my mate! anyway she broke his heart and who was still there after that, me, & his mates who were there before her! I get you love her, but if these people are proper mates dont you want to spend time with them? If you want my advice it would be dont forget the people who were there before her! See that is one thing i would never do, we do not have much PDA, we will kiss occassionaly, but never make out in front of people, etc. I feel they are more immature, they try to insult us and such because we are always together and such.
Author Seaon09 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 I don't think it is a problem to spend a lot of time with your significant other if you are both enjoying your time together and each others company. I speak as a girl who spends a lot of time with her boyfriend, and I love his company. However.. do you not want to have any friends other than your girlfriend? It's not a problem that you spend a lot of time with her, but it could be a problem that you don't give any of your other friends the time of day. Romantic relationships are really important, but so are relationship with other people -- friends and family. If you put all your focus on your girlfriend, you might forget about the other important relationships in your life. If you continually choose to hang out with your girlfriend alone, you might wake up one day and realize the two of you no longer have any other friends. I think if you want to see your other friends too, then you should continue to hang out with them, and your girlfriend too. Would it kill you to spend one day a week w/out your girlfriend, maybe hanging out with your friends alone? It's just that as human beings it is important to have balance in your life. You shouldnt put all your focus on one person or one thing, but try to vary your life.. Also, if you are worried at all about your relationship getting boring in the future, that is all the more reason to continue to do things outside of the relationship like hang out with friends or do your own hobbies. that way you have things to talk about when you see each other again. I know i love seeing my boyfriend after he or I have spent some alone time with friends. I feel so excited to see him, which reminds me of the spark we had when we first started dating(its been 5 years now) and I love updating him on all the stuff I did and whats going on with my friends, and I also like hearing about what he does with his friends and new things hes learned about or they showed him. Whatever it may be, cause once you've been together for a long time it is important to be able to bring something to the table.. and the way you do that is by being a full dynamic person.. I agree with everything you say and we do have days where we wont see eachother, the wierd thing is we do hang with the group a fair amount. And one thing we never do is PDA, i am against that stuff. Thanks for giving your input, I will definately bring some of this up with my S/O.
Recommended Posts