guysmily25 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) Hello ladies and gentlemen. I went through my first heartbreak on January 10th, and I have been stalking these forums since trying to get a handle on it. I should have posted before now, but alas, I did not. Here is my story, so that those of you gentlemen out there who have just been sent to the dump bucket can learn from my mistakes, and get a grip on some lessons I had to learn. FOR THE DUMPED Firstly, there is no perfect plan to get her back. It is important to understand this in the coming weeks/ months of your breakup. I have read every piece of information the internet has on breakups, and no advice is consistent. Your beautiful girl you have just lost is unique, but only she can change her mind. You're going to hear a lot about the No Contact Rule as a way to get her back, or how no contact won't work at all. The choice is hers alone, it is out of your hands. My breakup began like most do; we were the perfect couple in their twenties, who talked of marriage and a life together. I drank too much one night, which I had done a couple times before, but we drank together every single night so I had no idea what was coming the following morning. I awoke bleary eyed, and made a joke about something we had done the night before. "You're joking right now?" followed by a "I need space to think." Of course I apologized through tears, since we lived together and she never said anything of the sort before. I tried to talk to her that day, but heard nothing. The next morning, dumped. In my opinion, it is both ok and natural to beg if you make a mistake and hurt the one you love. I begged for a whole weekend. Love letters, poems, lists of everything I adored about her, apologies, but still nothing. The mistake I made was in the following months. Once or twice a week I would ask how she was doing, and get nothing but cold replies. I recently texted her last week just to see how she was doing, and got a cold response. I am going to leave it alone now, and so should you. She fell out of love with you, and you have to accept it, rather than cling to the idea of you two together. My key point is this; Only she can change her mind. Leave her alone for a little while and really let her think. If she loves you and is your soulmate, nothing will keep you apart. FOR THE DUMPERS Don't be too cruel. I know all too well that it is possible to fall out of love with someone, but try to remember how much they care about you. If you are leaving with little warning or difficulty in the relationship, keep in mind that the person you are dumping holds you parallel to the angels themselves, and would do anything for you. In my case, my girlfriend of a year dumped me in a phone call and gave me a laundry list of all my mistakes. These mistakes dated back four months, and were things she said she had forgiven me for. I will always remember the phone call where she left me; "Maybe in the future we will see where we are." If you say this to a person who loves you with all their heart, they will always have hope that you will return. Sit down with the soon-to-be-brokenhearted and break up with them as nicely as you can. If you truly don't love them, then let them go in a way where they can start to stop loving you. Tell them the real reason, whether it be a lack of love or some other desire, and don't bring up every grudge you have against them from your time together. It only makes a soon-too-be-depressed person feel even lower. Edited April 3, 2013 by guysmily25
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