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FWB Fail. He slept with another girl in my house!

Lisa_Lisa

By Lisa_Lisa
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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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I was away on vacation. My brother (they are work colleagues and friends) told me he let him bring another girl inside the house and left them alone for 4 hours. She's totally in love with him and was thrilled to be in his company.

 

When I got back from my vacation I noticed my bed wasn't how I left it. I immediately thought my FWB was on there, probably f*cking his brains out with that other girl.

 

What hurts is that is where we had sex. How could he disrespect me so badly like that?

 

It's over between us for sure. But I don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Should I yell? Should I tell him how much it hurts what he did? Should I pretend I don't know anything and treat him like I would any ol' friend? Should I be distant and cold?

 

Help.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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If your brother is going to let people into your house without your express permission, you need to take away his key.

 

Problem solved. As you said, he can screw other people if you're just FWB, but he shouldn't be allowed in your house. This is why almost no one has keys to my house except my mom.

  • Like 2
darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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find another, do not tell him, just move on n next time he asks u say no, fwb is not about fidelity, i think it's a minefield, it is about convenience, god knows what std u could catch

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
I was away on vacation. My brother (they are work colleagues and friends) told me he let him bring another girl inside the house and left them alone for 4 hours. She's totally in love with him and was thrilled to be in his company.

 

When I got back from my vacation I noticed my bed wasn't how I left it. I immediately thought my FWB was on there, probably f*cking his brains out with that other girl.

 

What hurts is that is where we had sex. How could he disrespect me so badly like that?

 

It's over between us for sure. But I don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Should I yell? Should I tell him how much it hurts what he did? Should I pretend I don't know anything and treat him like I would any ol' friend? Should I be distant and cold?

 

Help.

 

I'm sorry but I just can't stop laughing. Sorry but if you want respect don't throw yourself out there as an NSA option which is what 'FWB' is.

  • Like 2
HotRod1963 Member

HotRod1963

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If your brother is going to let people into your house without your express permission, you need to take away his key.

 

Problem solved. As you said, he can screw other people if you're just FWB, but he shouldn't be allowed in your house. This is why almost no one has keys to my house except my mom.

 

WHAT SHE SAID!! And, you should be glad that you are not in a committed relationship this Ahole. I am sorry for you though that you have to go through this but you will recover.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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It's over between us for sure. But I don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Should I yell? Should I tell him how much it hurts what he did? Should I pretend I don't know anything and treat him like I would any ol' friend? Should I be distant and cold?

 

Help.

 

You should never speak to him again and don't get involved with guys in the future who treat you like a piece of meat as opposed to a girlfriend.

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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I'm sorry but I just can't stop laughing. Sorry but if you want respect don't throw yourself out there as an NSA option which is what 'FWB' is.

 

 

I think there is a certain level of unspoken respect that as a human being one should have for another. Just because I'm a FWB doesn't mean I should automatically be treated like dirt.

 

To me, FWB means we both agree to sleep with each other when we both want to.

 

It doesn't mean he could have a free-for-all in my own home.

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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Sorry bittersweet but you fail.

FWB's are allowed to sleep with other people. You voluntarily entered into an arrangement where a guy uses you for sex with no obligations for commitment. Thats on you.

If you had had any self respect you wouldnt have done that.

 

Its not "over" between you two. There is nothing to end. You are his **** buddy, a warm body to use for his own needs. FWB's do not care about their women.

 

But not in my own home. That just absolutely freakin' blows my mind.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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Who lets themselves be ****ed in some other women's bed?

 

Dafuq was she 17?

 

Who ****s someone else in someone else's bed?

 

Dafuq is he 30?

 

No but seriously this isn't even about him having sex with a next person but if your accusations is true - he doesn't even respect your space. Horrible

  • Like 1
SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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Sorry bittersweet but you fail.

FWB's are allowed to sleep with other people. You voluntarily entered into an arrangement where a guy uses you for sex with no obligations for commitment. Thats on you.

If you had had any self respect you wouldnt have done that.

 

Its not "over" between you two. There is nothing to end. You are his **** buddy, a warm body to use for his own needs. FWB's do not care about their women.

 

Fwbs can be mutual.

It is usually two people using each other.

It isn't about having no self respect.

People are so close minded... Geez

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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I'm not in love with this guy. I don't expect marriage or a relationship. I knew what I was getting into. I was fine with just sex. But he kept trying to be sweet and act like there was a future with me. He thinks if he lies he'll keep getting sex from me.

 

This is how I think FWB should work:

 

No personal conversations.

No chatting.

No texting.

No hanging out.

 

Just a phone call for sex and that's it.

 

You go home.

 

I've done this in the past and I'm fine with it. I am capable of holding it down.

 

What I hate is the kisses on the forehead, the longing looks, the 'we should hang out sometime'...bullsh*t. That's not what it's about.

 

But this is something I really can't wrap my head around.

 

I still don't know what to do: keep quiet or confront him.

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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See I'm in a situation where we both know the score. I'm sure she wants more, but I've made it explicitly clear that there will never be more. If she wasn't cool with that, then she wouldn't do it.

 

Wrong. Women think that you'll change your mind. You already admitted that you're sure she wants more.

 

It is nearly impossible for a woman to continually sleep with a man on a regular basis and not develop feelings. It's that pesky thing called oxytocin.

 

Men think that if they just keep repeating that they don't want more than something casual then they're off the hook if a woman gets hurt. When come on, let's be honest, nothing is ever that simple once sex is in play.

  • Like 3
Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings because I made it clear that there were none to be had outside the physical realm. Not my fault if somebody doesn't take me at my word, when I take them at theirs.

 

I think you've been around the block enough to know that I'm right about women and sex.

StarsOnFire Established Member

StarsOnFire

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I'm not in love with this guy. I don't expect marriage or a relationship. I knew what I was getting into. I was fine with just sex. But he kept trying to be sweet and act like there was a future with me. He thinks if he lies he'll keep getting sex from me.

 

This is how I think FWB should work:

 

No personal conversations.

No chatting.

No texting.

No hanging out.

 

Just a phone call for sex and that's it.

 

You go home.

 

I've done this in the past and I'm fine with it. I am capable of holding it down.

 

What I hate is the kisses on the forehead, the longing looks, the 'we should hang out sometime'...bullsh*t. That's not what it's about.

 

But this is something I really can't wrap my head around.

 

I still don't know what to do: keep quiet or confront him.

 

I would just cut him off, esp based on your criteria for a sex buddy. Don't make it personal, don't text or call. Just move on. I'm sorry, that's a sucky situation!

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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I still don't know what to do: keep quiet or confront him.

 

Absolutely confront him. He needs to know what he did was wrong.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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I was away on vacation. My brother (they are work colleagues and friends) told me he let him bring another girl inside the house and left them alone for 4 hours. She's totally in love with him and was thrilled to be in his company.

 

When I got back from my vacation I noticed my bed wasn't how I left it. I immediately thought my FWB was on there, probably f*cking his brains out with that other girl.

 

What hurts is that is where we had sex. How could he disrespect me so badly like that?

 

It's over between us for sure. But I don't know what to do. Should I confront him? Should I yell? Should I tell him how much it hurts what he did? Should I pretend I don't know anything and treat him like I would any ol' friend? Should I be distant and cold?

 

Help.

Op Im confused. When you say "him" and "his" in the first two paragraphs, do you mean the guy or your brother?

 

Since youre not being specific, I cant figure how to read this. Cus you made it sound like your brother was in the house too and that the girl liked your brother. In which case its possible he had the sex.

 

If your ex fwb had slept with the girl, thats your fault for being dumb and letting your fwb use your house with a girl you knew liked him. Yes hes a douche and disrespectful as fvk, but you should really know better. People I barely know cant come into my house without me there...even if they know my relatives.

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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In YOUR house. Bottom line, that's the insult. Does he not have a place of his own? And WTF was your brother thinking?

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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I never said I wanted more from this guy.

 

Just don't f*ck another girl in my house. It's as simple as that.

 

The girl my FWB slept with is in complete and total love with him. I heard from my brother my FWB thinks she's a psycho. So you know he was just using her for the night. I don't know why. Was it because I was on vacation and unavailable? Boredom?

 

Before I left he got pissed at me that I was on the phone with another guy, according to him for 'an hour', and he stormed out of my house.

 

Maybe he was trying to hurt me. I don't know.

 

But in either case what he did was unforgivable.

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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Op Im confused. When you say "him" and "his" in the first two paragraphs, do you mean the guy or your brother?

 

Since youre not being specific, I cant figure how to read this. Cus you made it sound like your brother was in the house too and that the girl liked your brother. In which case its possible he had the sex.

 

If your ex fwb had slept with the girl, thats your fault for being dumb and letting your fwb use your house with a girl you knew liked him. Yes hes a douche and disrespectful as fvk, but you should really know better. People I barely know cant come into my house without me there...even if they know my relatives.

 

Ok, my brother let my FWB (my brother doesn't know he was my FWB) use the house for 4 hours to be alone with this chick. I was away on vacation so I had no idea this was going on. If I were there, I wouldn't have allowed it. I don't like strangers in my house. Also, I had no clue about this girl until after I got home and noticed my bed looked slept in. When I asked my brother about it is when he told me, 'oh yeah' so and so was here with this shorty.'

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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In YOUR house. Bottom line, that's the insult. Does he not have a place of his own? And WTF was your brother thinking?

 

My brother didn't know my FWB were sleeping together. So I can't be mad at him. But I don't think my brother should let his buddies use our house as a hotel. If he wants to f*ck that chick, take her to a hotel room.

 

I'm gonna put a lock on my door.

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I understand what you're saying. I was just looking through some pics and maybe I can see why she would want/think that we have more. I do go out and have drinks with her and **** like that.

 

 

Ok you're good looking. Yep she wants you as a boyfriend. :p

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 1
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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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Am I cheaply dating my FWB? :eek:

 

 

I don't think FWB's should date. It muddies the waters. That's why she might think there's the possibility of more.

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Lisa_Lisa Established Member

Lisa_Lisa

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Ok you're good looking. Yep she wants you as a boyfriend. :p

 

 

Agreed, Mr. Soul. You are good looking.

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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......But he kept trying to be sweet and act like there was a future with me. He thinks if he lies he'll keep getting sex from me.

 

......

I still don't know what to do: keep quiet or confront him.

 

One: head-slap your brother and tell him if he ever pulls a stunt like that again, you'll serve his balls up on a dish with spaghetti.

 

Two: tell this guy, it's over, tell him why, and tell him you think he's a manipulative despicable jerk.

 

He is obviously more invested in this FWB-thing with you than you are; normally, it has to be said, the shoe's on the other foot - it's more often the gal who's smitten with the guy....

 

Three: Try to contact the girl and give her the full picture of just who she's having sex with - and how he is messing with her.

 

Four: get him to buy you a new set of bed-linen - and give him the 'used' set.

 

Then drop him off your radar, and leave well alone.

  • Like 2
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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Ok you're good looking. Yep she wants you as a boyfriend. :p

 

Holy schytt if I knew where you lived, you'd be lying in a state of catatonic exhaustion.

 

PM Me.

I'll see you in an hour.

don't bother dressing.

  • Like 3
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