sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 As a female, I've met a lot of prideful men and dated a few of them. I was just wondering what people thought (men and women) regarding a prideful ex. Do you think that, if they broke up with you and later on down the line felt it was a mistake, would they risk rejection and reach out to you? I personally think no. It's hard to think that an extremely prideful and stubborn man would risk pain and rejection by reaching out to you for reconciliation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSoul Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I personally think no. It's hard to think that an extremely prideful and stubborn man would risk pain and rejection by reaching out to you for reconciliation. If the person is really interested, he'll swallow his pride because of the fear of losing you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
blindhope Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Man or woman I think it totally depends on the person. Pride, fear, insecurity can all hold someone from reaching out down the road. But you can't think of if or why or when with them. It won't help you. Your more than their signifigant other and need to get past them. If it works out down the road then it great, but if it does't you'll have moved on and been the stronger person for it. Link to post Share on other sites
h3braica Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 my ex dumped me a lot of times before and i always let him go but he always comes back after 3 to 4 days and asking me why i let him go easily when there are a lot of women who would do everything just to be with him (with he's good looks and a nice job). he's a man with so much pride but he reached out for a recon cause he said that he didn't like the feeling of not having me by his side. it happened when we are in our 2nd to 5th yr of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
GB25 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 As a female, I've met a lot of prideful men and dated a few of them. I was just wondering what people thought (men and women) regarding a prideful ex. Do you think that, if they broke up with you and later on down the line felt it was a mistake, would they risk rejection and reach out to you? I personally think no. It's hard to think that an extremely prideful and stubborn man would risk pain and rejection by reaching out to you for reconciliation. The stubborn, prideful ones probably wont especially if its been several months of NC bc they fear you have moved on and prob dont wanna risk rejection they might throw out "feelers" but sometimes not even that in risk of looking dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 Well my ex certainly is VERY stubborn. I can't say for sure whether or not he'd risk rejection but he certainly comes across as someone who would not, especially since his ex fiance cheated on him. We are 5 months out of the official break up but never went NC for longer than a week. It's weird. He says things like talking about me moving in, being his wife and talks about plans for WAY for advance in the future. But he "just isn't ready to commit'. Our bouts of NC usually come after a fight. We don't speak for a week or so and then I make contact and things go right back to the lovey dovey way they were before, minus the actual commitment. This time though, I will not be contacting him. I feel taken for granted and unappreciated and really think he is making a mistake by keeping this up. After all, "I'm perfect for him" and "Letting me go is not a good decision at all". I just think about whether he, being as stubborn and prideful and "never wrong" as he is, would reach out to me and tell me he is making a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Most guys usually do come back. For sex . The thing with them coming back is that this is it: they are back. It doesn't mean that they want to start anything with you all over again. It doesn't mean that they are willing to try harder. It doesn't mean that they are willing to make (any or more) efforts. It only means they'd like another little bit of the dish they've refused - or was refused to them - some time ago.... Very very muddy waters. I say if they let you go (away), it's best to leave it that way. Fresh start, new beginning! Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Most guys usually do come back. For sex . The thing with them coming back is that this is it: they are back. It doesn't mean that they want to start anything with you all over again. It doesn't mean that they are willing to try harder. It doesn't mean that they are willing to make (any or more) efforts. It only means they'd like another little bit of the dish they've refused - or was refused to them - some time ago.... Very very muddy waters. I say if they let you go (away), it's best to leave it that way. Fresh start, new beginning! What a broad generalization...Maybe so for shallow, small minded men, but not all... TFOY Link to post Share on other sites
Sososad Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I'm a very stubborn person but I would still reach out to a ex girlfriend If I CARED enough... No good sitting at home with all the pride in the world on your couch on your own! If they mean enough to you.. Pride goes out the window .. But to be dumped a few times you would just let it go! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 What a broad generalization...Maybe so for shallow, small minded men, but not all... TFOY I'd have to agree. Although some men come back because they are bored or lonely, I do have an experience with a man who "came back" to make things right, although it was a weird situation. We were "together" for 3 1/2 years but majority of that time consisted of him breaking up with me every few months or so to sleep with other girls. Don't ask me why I stuck around but this guy treated me like dirt. He was just mean, disrespectful, stubborn and immature. Eventually he came back and wanted to settle down. And when I say the tables had turned, they did. He would cry and stress and worry about what I was thinking and told me over and over that he was scared of losing me. I was the one who did the final break up, just because he had put me through so much I was completely over it. A year later we caught up and he told me how much of a mistake he made treating me the way he did and ultimately ruining anything we could have had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 I'm a very stubborn person but I would still reach out to a ex girlfriend If I CARED enough... No good sitting at home with all the pride in the world on your couch on your own! If they mean enough to you.. Pride goes out the window .. But to be dumped a few times you would just let it go! Why reach out to them instead of just go out and find the next girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Sososad Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I guess when you feel as strongly as I do with my current ex Moving on is alot easier said than done Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 I guess when you feel as strongly as I do with my current ex Moving on is alot easier said than done I do feel very strongly about him. But I'm also a great catch and a good woman. How many times do I have to keep doing and doing and doing before he says "Dang, I better hold on to her". The problem is that I put myself in a situation where he doesn't take me seriously. He doesn't have to put forth any work and he certainly hasn't experienced the loss of me. I don't want to keep reaching out, fixing things and feeling taken for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 So then why would you? Why don't you just let him go and find someone who does appreciate you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 So then why would you? Why don't you just let him go and find someone who does appreciate you? I'm not. I will not be reaching out this time and I'm ok with it. But you know, freshly out of something like this, you wonder if someone will actually reach out to you (even if rejection might occur) despite their pride and stubbornness. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 There's no point in wondering. I know you can't help it sometimes, but it doesn't help you to think about it (or talk about it, if you can't help thinking). If you do that, you'll talk yourself into hoping. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Im sort of the opinion that if someone dumps you-they dont want you. There isn't anything to do, really that wont look like you are begging, and frankly who wants someone to take them back because you twisted their arm. Perhaps its a bad analogy, but its almost like calling the trash collector a few weeks after you threw the junk out to "see how its doing".. TFOY Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 Im sort of the opinion that if someone dumps you-they dont want you. There isn't anything to do, really that wont look like you are begging, and frankly who wants someone to take them back because you twisted their arm. Perhaps its a bad analogy, but its almost like calling the trash collector a few weeks after you threw the junk out to "see how its doing".. TFOY Well of course. But sometimes its not always as easy as "they don't want you". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I always wondered whether my ex would try come back. Judging by how bad the BU was, its been half a year now since the BU (she left me for someone else a week after she had family bereavement) and 5 and a half months NC so I guess if she ever wanted to contact me she would have done, it wouldn't have been hard tbh, she knows where I live. She was insecure when I knew her and the last time we spoke she tried to persuade me to stay in her life, but I wasn't having it. So I guess she thinks I hate her or something. I wouldn't contact her though, as much as I would like to I'm not going to get anywhere with it and it would ruin my efforts of NC. Now I don't think she'd reach out, I don't think she'd even approach me in public anymore which does suck. I hate that we are pretty much strangers now. I guess it depends on how the BU went because if they really wanted you they would make sure nothing got in their way to get to you. Link to post Share on other sites
drpepper1886 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Well of course. But sometimes its not always as easy as "they don't want you". Don't care enough to make it work; Too immature to see the worth; Too scared of commitment; grass is greener; etc etc. Doesn't matter, the red flag has been raised and there is no point pursuing any further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Well of course. But sometimes its not always as easy as "they don't want you". OK..What do you suggest??? Are you the dumper here?? TFOY Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetjess1951 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 OK..What do you suggest??? Are you the dumper here?? TFOY No, I'm not. And I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying that not every reason for a break up is because they don't want you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I have not spoken to my ex in about fifty days, but he has tried to contact me about six times since I decided to go complete no contact. He always leaves a message with it, and it usually always starts out "Just wanted to say hi!" I think this makes it pretty clear that his reasons for contacting me have nothing to do with apologizing, getting back together, regretting his decision, etc. and there's no reason for me to respond. It's now been about two weeks since I last heard from him, and I think that he has given up on contacting me because I won't respond. He is stubborn, but not stubborn enough to keep from contacting me even when I have made it clear I don't want to speak to him. If they want you back, they know what they need to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I think if they have a huge ego they probably won't. I was dumped by text, never been contacted years later. I find this odd because there was no of The usual closure most people get. I always felt like the exception on here. Another ex contacted me to stand me up, blame The whole breakup on me (he wanted to sleep around) and then sent verbally abusive texts. I hope someone has screwed him over. Link to post Share on other sites
siankat Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 depends what the reason for the break up was and how much they want u Link to post Share on other sites
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