Ex12 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I know how that question sounds... But we have been together for three years. When I was 17 going in 18 I lost my Virginity to my now ex who is 7 years older. He took care of me and if you can't tell already I had very big mommy and daddy issues. Anyways, I know he loved and cared for me but sometimes it wasnt enough because his military background and all the things hes went through didnt allow him to be emotionally available. We were polar opposites and hardly agreed on anything but we still looked passed this and continued our relationship. We have a huge personality difference, he's more logical and I'm more impulsive causing me to think more with emotion. Which brings me to how I acted after our break up. After a month long of arguing over issues from the past I called it off about 10 times telling him how awful he is. Then regretting my decision I would call or text him saying I'm sorry lets work it out. After already giving up hope that month, he agreed on the breakup and said he loves me and cares for me but can't be with me because we just don't get along. I went crazy when he told me that. I called him and texted him for three days straight and he ignored me and then finally I texted him I wanted to kill myself that i no longer want to live because he hates me. That same night I got very drunk and when I tried stopping for a cab it hit me. No serious injuries occurred but I did go to te hospital that night. My cousin came to pick me up and texted my ex while I was asleep to let him know whats going on and to tell him that this isn't like me to get drunk. Anyways, at that time she didn't know of my breakup and he told her I was obsessively calling him. He tried calling me a couple of times but I ignored him since I was upset I was put in a situation like that. Then of course I had second thoughts and called him back hours later. He ignored me again and I cursed and yelled at him. I was already fed up with being ignored. That night I called him many more times until he finally texted me that he contacted a lawyer because I was harassing him and that the lawyer advised him for him to stay away from me. That really hurt me and at that point I didn't understand after three years how could you stop caring for someone? He was emotionally detached and throughout our relationship I was understanding of him wanting to have a one sided open relationship i was always loyal to him even though he slept with many other woman. After a while all of this was hurting me and I wanted him to pay attention to me instead of all these women he was too busy trying to sleep with. I became insanely needy and clingy and of course all because of our agreement. Anyway, I'm still very hurt. This all took place a few days ago and I can't get over it considering we were planning on a family in two years. I've been a mess and I obviously know I acted childish after our breakup. I decided to seek psychotherapy not because of him because I also had a lot of emotional baggage from the past. I finally spoke to him yesterday afternoon and he was telling me to go away that he doesn't care for me anymore, I understood he was just angry because our whole situation but I believe he doesn't anymore. I feel like I might never move on just because I was so use to him and we ended things badly. I wish I wasn't so clingy and he'd give me a second chance after I grow up. He said call him in two years and maybe we can talk but I feel like that's too much. I don't know what to do and how to cope considering its my first breakup. I just wish he'd give me a second chance but right now even I know this relationship can't be salvaged.
blindhope Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Quick question, how old are you now/ how long was the relationship? Other than my ex was 18 and me 23 when we started dating. At first we broke up a few times back and forth because she was still too immature. But after a year or so we were together for a long time straight until now She's 25 and never had her "crazy" days and now acts like an teenager(She's dating one). But through the pain and humiliation her recent craziness has put me through I know if she came back to me I'd have a hard time closing that door. My advice is take time for yourself. Try and figure otu what you want in life, even beyond relationship stuff. Try and meet new people and doens't even have to be looking for a BF, just meet people. You'll learn a lot about yourself and what you really want. It doesn't have to be 2 yrs. But take time and if your really do care about each other it's never over.
Author Ex12 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Thanks for replying, I'm 20 going on 21 now. We were together three years and I feel awful on how it ended. Your right anyway, I fina that when I'm around people I feel happier. I'm actually starting to feel better now. The fact that my chest isn't in pain from the heart ache and I'm not really crying every 5 minutes is progress. I was thinking of giving him a couple of months to breath and work on myself before calling him. He's actually a very forgiving person, I guess the only thing I'm afraid of his him not being so forgiving this time.
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