crispywat Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Well i eneded a 9 month relationship late December. The reason for this was i didnt feel my gf was offering me quality time and wasnt happy unless she was with her family. We chatted about this but it was deemed to fail as we both wanted different things from the relationship. Since that time i felt she didnt careless too much even though she said she was bothered at the time, so we havent really spoke since that time. Just yesterday though she dropped a little bomb shell on me saying she had met someone and i should know about it. My heart sunk even though i thought i was over her...since then i have felt numb!! She obviously has moved on and met someone but what can i do to rid the pain? most people would say move on dont contact each other but here is the issue......we work together, luckly not every day as im out on the field mainly but even so our pathes cross when i go in the office. A career change is out the question but i obviously have strong feeling towards her even though i think she treated me a little shabbily, any advise to move on would be great i cant carry on like this!!!
Panda87 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Hi Crispywat, it happens to me too. But i almost over it, as its been 4 months since the BU. I can only share what i've been through, basically you cant do anything except to endure the pain and try to let her go (take it day by day). Make less contact with her (this is hard, but its possible), act like it doesnt bother you though it does (this suck i know!). Seriously, you got to show her that you are moved on too (fake it till you make it). DONT TRY to dig any information between her and her new bf. Learn from me, it does NOTHING good for you, ignorance is bliss. Focus on YOU, ignore her life. Let her live her life, obviously you cant just remove your feeling to her for now. But in time, please do trust it will fade away. Somehow at some point, you just dont really care anymore. It still new and fresh for you, i wont lie its hard and painful. You may heard this all the time, but its the truth this experience and pain will make you wiser and stronger. Keep moving forward >>> and never look back <<< 1
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Look, you are not her friend and her telling you about someone else obviously hurt or else you wouldn't be here right now. You are not her friend. I'm sure you didn't get into a relationship with the end result is you being nothing more than a "really good friend" to her. So, you need to limit your contact with her. You work for the same company so you keep it strictly business. Be tactful and respectful. Short answers to her questions and very business like. If she asks you about your demeanor, just say, " Look, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. We're nothing to each other besides co-workers." Time to heal and move on. She's not coming back, but is going to look at you to unload her guilt.
Author crispywat Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Look, you are not her friend and her telling you about someone else obviously hurt or else you wouldn't be here right now. You are not her friend. I'm sure you didn't get into a relationship with the end result is you being nothing more than a "really good friend" to her. So, you need to limit your contact with her. You work for the same company so you keep it strictly business. Be tactful and respectful. Short answers to her questions and very business like. If she asks you about your demeanor, just say, " Look, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. We're nothing to each other besides co-workers." Time to heal and move on. She's not coming back, but is going to look at you to unload her guilt. I dont think she feels any guilt at all. She isnt bothered about me in the slightest or wouldnt of been looking for a new man so soon, i think was off a dating site they met! Anyway its probably my fault maybe i should of opened up more in our relationship and told her more clearly my thoughts. Maybe she hates me that much that she wants me to leave work, i just dont know
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I dont think she feels any guilt at all. She isnt bothered about me in the slightest or wouldnt of been looking for a new man so soon, i think was off a dating site they met! Anyway its probably my fault maybe i should of opened up more in our relationship and told her more clearly my thoughts. Maybe she hates me that much that she wants me to leave work, i just dont know She probably doesn't feel any guilt. And she really doesn't care. Well, I take that back. She cared enough to inform you that there's another guy in the picture so you didn't find out about it through someone else. So, if she doesn't have a high opinion of you at all, then it really should give you the motivation just to ignore her all together.
Am4Real Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 No one who is secure and happy and "moved on" contact their EX to "report" they are dating someone. In your case, she sounds like she is searching for a reaction from you. Be smart -- do not give her one! Of course hearing her news [highlight]smarts[/highlight]! You expected it to happen one day, after all she was not going to go thru the rest of her young life single and alone. You knew that right? It just so happens she does not have the maturity to move on with dignity and is probably trying to strike up a jealous bone in you as a way to respond to being dumped. Blow it off. Think of it this way: what was once your problem had you deal with it by ending the relationship, now the new guy will experience what you did and have to make his decision one day, especially when he finds out, if he does, that she is thinking of you. There...feel better now?
Author crispywat Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 No one who is secure and happy and "moved on" contact their EX to "report" they are dating someone. In your case, she sounds like she is searching for a reaction from you. Be smart -- do not give her one! Of course hearing her news [highlight]smarts[/highlight]! You expected it to happen one day, after all she was not going to go thru the rest of her young life single and alone. You knew that right? It just so happens she does not have the maturity to move on with dignity and is probably trying to strike up a jealous bone in you as a way to respond to being dumped. Blow it off. Think of it this way: what was once your problem had you deal with it by ending the relationship, now the new guy will experience what you did and have to make his decision one day, especially when he finds out, if he does, that she is thinking of you. There...feel better now? I dont think its a jelous thing i think she couldnt care less bout me which i guess is the reason im hurting once again as it did when we split, but i hoped we got on well and hoped she woul care about me at least. Sadly it seems not :-( I know i need to move on she was stubbon when we were together and all i tried didnt work to please her. I doubt i will ever feel any better
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