ScienceGal Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 In terms of being committed, moving in together, marriage, anything you want to comment on. What was the course of a previous or current relationship? If you're single or in a new relaiosnhip, what are your expectations? What's "too fast", "too slow" in your opinion? I find as people reach their 30s, they want things to happen more rapidly due to wanting a family. Any thoughts are welcome.
MidwestUSA Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Hmmmm. First date on June 2nd. Moved in July 25th. Engaged Feb 4th. Getting married May 5th. LOL, I had to throw this out there. I'd be the first to tell anyone else they were crazy! No, there's not a baby on the way. It's kinda sad to meet the guy whose kids you would have had after it's too late to have them. 1
Author ScienceGal Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 That does seem like a quick trajectory! Well, I should say it's faster than I've had a relationship progress. The common thought is that you just let things happen naturally. But, I know at least two people personally who have "time lines". Ex: within 3 months my partner should tell me they love me, etc. I don't have specific time frames assigned to certain events, should I have at least a general idea of how I'd like things to progress? I've never given it much thought until now, as I am wondering why/how some people do it.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 My current boyfriend and I officially moved in together at 5 months, but we pretty much have lived together since day one. As for engagement, I don't really have a timeline, I just know I won't wait longer than 3 years. By the time he returns from France we will be almost to our 2 year. Marriage and kids? Financial stability plays a huge role. I want a house before kids and I want an actual wedding. Definitely want to get married an start a family before I reach 30.
Author ScienceGal Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Miss J, lets say it doesn't work out with your bf and you find yourself single. Let's say you meet the love of your life when you're 30, or 35. How do you think you'd feel, being past the age that you wanted to have a marriage and kids? Do you think your 3-year plan would change? Anyone can chime in.
MissIndependant Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 I think it depends on the dynamic or your relationship. And age has a HUGE factor. I was in a four year relationship that recently ended. My ex was the same age as me, 24, and wasn't ready to commit to anything serious. We didn't even live together without housemates. I would have liked our relationship to have progressed to something more in that time and it didn't so I ended it. My current relationship, I've been dating a guy(he's 30) since the end of Jan, so 2.5 months. I can see a real future with him, and by future I mean, living togther, combining finances, kids, marriage and of course the white picket fence lol. He just got out of a 9 year relationship and isn't quite ready to commit yet. So we're playing the waiting game. But he has already stated he wouldn't wait as long the second time around, and I said I wouldn't be willing to wait anymore than a few years without the kids and marriage becoming a reality. I do believe that the take it as it comes naturally approach is the best. However, factors such as age, past experiences etc all have their own effect on the "time line". I think it depends on the individual people in the relationship. IE: My guy isn't ready to commit to a full out relationship yet, but has already said he really wants kids now. He is the kind of person that will hold off and take alot of time to make decisions in the early stages but once ready to commit will progress through the stages alot faster. Whereas the ex didn't muck around during the early committting to a relationship stage, but never progressed past that. It all depends on the individual.
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