braves10 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 (edited) Okay so I have been dating this girl for seven months. She is 18 and I am 20. She is the most gorgeous girl I have ever met and she understood me better than even any of my best friends. It was the greatest time of my life. Every minute was magical. It was as much true love as I could imagine. We were each others best friends. She would tell me so every day. We were crazy about each other. So I came home for spring break a few weeks ago and we are hanging out and everything is fine and wonderful, but then she tells me that she needs a break. This is both of our first serious relationship. I realize now that all a break means is give her some space and she will come back to you, but I had no clue what that meant. I feel like the biggest jackass in the world. I immediately blew my lid and interpreted it as "we are done forever." So over the next few days I kept contacting her and arguing and things got really nasty. After about three days of fighting I gave it some time, but still didn't understand why she did this and she said she needed time. Once again, I contacted her and this time it was horrible. She was a different person to me and told me that she didn't love me anymore and didn't care if I hooked up with people. I was horrible to her during the fighting and haven't contacted her now in 17 days. Every minute has been unbearable, but now I realize that she just needed some space because she is diving into a huge relationship and she was a very independent person before she met me. I don't know what to do now. Please help me!!! I really want to text her and nicely say "I know I may have ****ed things up forever, but I did not know what you meant by 'you need space.' I will give you all the space you need!" When she said she wanted to take a break she said that she still really loved me and just needed time to figure things out. When I retaliated she responded "you make it sound like you want to breakup!" and I just got so furious at her for wanting to leave me that I couldn't control my emotions. I'm normally a very calm person and we only had about one real fight, but I couldn't put a lid on it. WHAT DO I DO?! Edited April 3, 2013 by braves10
Author braves10 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 I cannot sleep over this. It hit me like a freight train a few hours ago. Somebody please help
Celtica Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 This is really horrible to say but... You live and you learn. Today, I contacted the guy who I had become official with as of 4 days ago after 4 months of dating to discuss some serious things. He is leaving the state and it would have been a long distant relationship. I wanted to know if he really wanted to be exclusive. I was giving him the option. He immediately became very cold. Very, very cold. And then proceeded to get off the phone and sent me a text message basically uninviting me to anything we had planned in the next days before he left, telling me to have a good life. And then told me I have trust issues among other insults. Etc. Had he approached it in any other way, I would have been fine. But he messed things up. He went from utterly sweet to cold-stone curt, and I could never be with a guy like that if arguments would always be as such. In the midst of stress and confusion, you get to see the real way in which people handle themselves, and boy, if you don't know how to control your anger, then good luck. I advise you to figure that one out quick, before your 21st birthday. Guys who know how to communicate in a clear, calm, loving, eloquent, and meaningful way are true gems. Hopefully you'll prove yourself to be that way one day. As for her, say what you will, but choose wisely how you react.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Usually a break does mean a breakup. You weren't necessarily wrong on that. But jumping all over her wasn't the best move. But s--t happens and you live and you learn. You have two real options a) continue NC and let her cool off or b) give her a call and apologize (even if it's over voicemail, don't do the passive-aggressive letter/email thing). But only do that if you haven't apologized already. If you have, continuing to apologize won't do any good.
Author braves10 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Usually a break does mean a breakup. You weren't necessarily wrong on that. But jumping all over her wasn't the best move. But s--t happens and you live and you learn. You have two real options a) continue NC and let her cool off or b) give her a call and apologize (even if it's over voicemail, don't do the passive-aggressive letter/email thing). But only do that if you haven't apologized already. If you have, continuing to apologize won't do any good. Well I wasn't aggressive whatsoever in the letter I wrote, but I think I will wait and just call her tomorrow. Hopefully 18 days is enough to at least hear an apology. But even while I was being mean and nasty to her, she still kept with the idea that she would contact me one day. She never even said she wanted to breakup.
Celtica Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Well I wasn't aggressive whatsoever in the letter I wrote, but I think I will wait and just call her tomorrow. Hopefully 18 days is enough to at least hear an apology. But even while I was being mean and nasty to her, she still kept with the idea that she would contact me one day. She never even said she wanted to breakup. Being mean and nasty still isn't healthy. Just because she was open to the idea of contacting you one day doesn't justify your actions as okay. IMO, but suit yourself.
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Taking a break = breaking up. So, don't kid yourself. People that are in a loving and caring relationship don't take breaks from each other to "figure sh*t out". They work the issues out together. Like as in any partnership. They wouldn't NEED to be away from the person that truely love. As a matter of fact, they look to the one that they love to lean on them and look for support; not run for the hills. You need to stay NC. You need to heal and move on. Start making positive changes in your life and start living your life as if she's not coming back, because chances are she's not.
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