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Posted

Hello, thanks for reading if you are and I apologize in advance for any typos or bad punctuation. I am 45 married 18 years. At one point in our marriage about 10 years ago I told my wife I wasn't happy and had all intentions of leaving after we had gotten back from a 2 week vacation with our kids my main reason was not much affection or sex. I mean come on she can't say I love you to me and hasn't said it in over 15 years BUT just so you know she also can't say it to the kids and its flippin wierd to me she can't. She's loving caring an for the most part pretty old fashioned and I've told her for years it's gonna take its toll on our kids. The kids here is the story, I started dating her when her son was 3. His father passed away drinking and driving then we had 2 more a girl and boy so we got 22, 18 and 16. My oldest the 22 year old has actually told me that he feels its made him a better person cuz he is very affectionate and likes to be close with his friends. My 18 year old graduates this year and about 5 years ago she broke down due to my wife's emotionless way of life. The youngest well hell he's a handful to say the least but just buzy being a teenager ya know. Anyways back in 2005 I blew a disc in my neck and long story short became addicted to the damn pain meds. From 2005 to 2009 I relapsed of course but everytime I wanted to stop I went to her and broke down cause I couldn't take it. Anyways the last time was in Sept 2009 I ended up detoxing and doing treatment which the other times I never did was fortunate to have an awesome boss who stood by me as well. But here's the thing since Sept 2009 we made love 3 times that nite twice when we went to bed and once in the morning and it was the night before I went to detox, WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE. Here I am thinking its from the hysterectomy she had about 7 or so years ago but I finally actually asked her on Easter if she is even happy anymore and she said no not really I then asked do you think you ever will be and she said I don't think so. The reason I understand is when I was addicted to the narcs I lied about doing them and she said that's what did it she couldn't take it anymore. I asked why she led me along over 3 years and didnt say anything. I feel more lied to than I ever have. What do I do??? I hve only answered her texts when she texts me

But that's it. She makes no attempt to even talk to me. I guess my question is will she ever be happy again? I told her Monday that I am gonna start looking for a place to go and then she had to go to work as I too. She texted me 3 hours later saying neither one of us is in a position 2 do anything and no one should go anywhere and for the time being we try to make it as stable as possible for te kids sake. The oldest dont live at home FYI. And I'm thinking your fuc%*ng kidding me you think I want to be somewhere with someone that isn't happy with me and said probably won't be until te youngest finishes school! Is she nuts or am I a prick? OMG help me make the right choice. Last note is trust me I am the one who besides working 50 hours a week that cleans the house and does ALL the laundry. She ain't done laundry for 3 years unless I ask so I don't wreck something. Thanks and please advise.

Posted

Am I correct, she does not work? And does not clean the house?

Posted
Me I'm lost

Hello, thanks for reading if you are and I apologize in advance for any typos or bad punctuation.

 

I am 45 married 18 years. At one point in our marriage about 10 years ago I told my wife I wasn't happy and had all intentions of leaving after we had gotten back from a 2 week vacation with our kids my main reason was not much affection or sex.

 

I mean come on she can't say I love you to me and hasn't said it in over 15 years BUT just so you know she also can't say it to the kids and its flippin wierd to me she can't.

 

She's loving caring an for the most part pretty old fashioned and I've told her for years it's gonna take its toll on our kids. The kids here is the story,

 

I started dating her when her son was 3. His father passed away drinking and driving then we had 2 more a girl and boy so we got 22, 18 and 16.

 

My oldest the 22 year old has actually told me that he feels its made him a better person cuz he is very affectionate and likes to be close with his friends.

 

My 18 year old [COLOR=#1c7dff]graduates[/COLOR] this year and about 5 years ago she broke down due to my wife's emotionless way of life.

 

The youngest well hell he's a handful to say the least but just buzy being a teenager ya know.

 

Anyways back in 2005 I blew a disc in my neck and long story short became addicted to the damn pain meds. From 2005 to 2009 I relapsed of course but everytime I wanted to stop I went to her and broke down cause I couldn't take it.

 

Anyways the last time was in Sept 2009 I ended up detoxing and doing treatment which the other times I never did was fortunate to have an awesome boss who stood by me as well.

 

But here's the thing since Sept 2009 we made love 3 times that nite twice when we went to bed and once in the morning and it was the night before I went to [COLOR=#1c7dff]detox[/COLOR],

 

WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE.

 

Here I am thinking its from the [COLOR=#1c7dff]hysterectomy[/COLOR] she had about 7 or so years ago but I finally actually asked her on Easter if she is even happy anymore and she said no not really

 

I then asked do you think you ever will be and she said I don't think so.

 

The reason I understand is when I was addicted to the narcs I lied about doing them and she said that's what did it she couldn't take it anymore. I asked why she led me along over 3 years and didnt say anything. I feel more lied to than I ever have. What do I do??? I have only answered her texts when she texts me

 

But that's it. She makes no attempt to even talk to me. I guess my question is will she ever be happy again?

 

I told her Monday that I am gonna start looking for a place to go and then she had to go to work as I too. She texted me 3 hours later saying neither one of us is in a position 2 do anything and no one should go anywhere and for the time being we try to make it as stable as possible for te kids sake.

 

The oldest dont live at home FYI. And I'm thinking your fuc%*ng kidding me you think I want to be somewhere with someone that isn't happy with me and said probably won't be until te youngest finishes school! Is she nuts or am I a prick?

 

OMG help me make the right choice. Last note is trust me I am the one who besides working 50 hours a week that cleans the house and does ALL the laundry. She ain't done laundry for 3 years unless I ask so I don't wreck something. Thanks and please advise.

 

Edited to make more readable

Posted

She is lost herself. Maybe she could live by herself for a while. You could live by yourself. At least it would give you both room to think.

 

Nothing wrong with separating and seeing how things go.

 

You are both going to kill each other with stress and misery otherwise

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