starrynightz45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I met this guy in college, and we have almost every class together. He was always very shy/quiet/awkward around me, but eventually asked for my number. He began texting me, and since I thought he seemed interesting, I reciprocated. He began texting me every single day, pretty much from the moment we'd leave class until one of us would go to bed at night. Rarely, but from time to time, he'd give me a brief call to ask me some school related question. Eventually, we went out on a date and it went great, and the daily texting continued. This all happened over the span of a month. Then, my ex-boyfriend (who I had broken up with 2 months prior, and it was a 6 year relationship) came back into my life, wanting to get back together. I was a little thrown off by the entire thing, and told the new guy that I didn't really want to be with my ex, but that things were kind of a mess and I wanted him to know, so he didn't assume anything. He continued texting for a few days, then told me he didn't want to be involved in the situation, wasn't sure if he could commit to anything, and stopped. I said I understood. A week later, I told him I had talked to my ex, and absolutely was not getting back together with him. He repeated that he didnt' want to be involved, so I stopped texting him. He then invited me to hang out with him and his friend, but was very cold the entire night. When I confronted him, he said that he had invited me out as a friend only, and that he felt I had a "shell" up because of my ex. When I told him that wasn't the case, he said he had a lot of personal problems and wasn't really "looking for anything" right now. I'm left pretty confused by the whole thing. Was I wrong to think there was something there? I just don't see myself constantly texting someone if I'm "not looking for anything." I feel like maybe I scared him off, and maybe I took the texts/calls too seriously, while he was just having fun. Now, he no longer texts and goes back and forth between ignoring me, giving me lingering stares when I bump into him in the hallways at school, acting like I don't exist, etc. Just today I went to grab lunch at school and he was sitting at a table in front of me. He must have turned back and glanced at me about 5-6x in the 20 minutes he was there. Then other times he'll walk right past me and act as if I don't exist. Any ideas? So confused!
Phoe Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 he said he wasn't really "looking for anything" right now. Sadly, this is all you need to know. When you're so close to a situation it's easy to be blinded and not see what's right in front of you. He told you exactly how he feels. He doesn't want anything. Walk away... As far as WHY he feels this way, it's hard to say. Maybe he just sees you as a friend, maybe he was never interested, maybe he was... maybe being in contact with your ex scared him off... no matter what the reason is, as of right now he's just not interested. 2
CC12 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Sadly, this is all you need to know. ... no matter what the reason is, as of right now he's just not interested. Yeah, I agree. He was pretty clear about it. And him awkwardly staring/glancing at you means nothing. Ignore it. Take his lead and pretend he doesn't exist.
Noproblem Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 He likes you, but he doesn't want to be.... How can I say it; he doesn't know what he is doing right now......I think, he was progressing feelings for you, then you talked to him about your ex he thought: " hey this is serious and I'm still so young for serious relationship." He left, but didn't really leave. He still likes you, but you and him together is still serious for him to stay!....I think he is confused as you are......But I know guys can be distracted fast. Maybe in a week or two you'll find him with a new girl. So yeah, don't get your hopes high on him.....Plenty fish in the sea
Author starrynightz45 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Sadly, this is all you need to know. When you're so close to a situation it's easy to be blinded and not see what's right in front of you. He told you exactly how he feels. He doesn't want anything. Walk away... As far as WHY he feels this way, it's hard to say. Maybe he just sees you as a friend, maybe he was never interested, maybe he was... maybe being in contact with your ex scared him off... no matter what the reason is, as of right now he's just not interested. Yep. I totally understand what you're saying. It's just tough to forget, ignore, and move on when he continues to give mixed signals. I forgot to mention that after his whole comment, he told the class he was having an art show. I went to it, and he ended up laughing/chatting with me for over 2 hours. He kept telling me how nice I looked, told me he was glad I wasn't like "those other generic girls" etc. He was super flirty...at least that's what I thought. He asked me what I was doing that weekend, and I mentioned that I was going to the school's annual formal ball. He asked if I was going with a date, and when I said no, he tried to convince me not to go because it was a "couples event." I said it was fine and I was going to go anyways, but he repeated that I should just stay home and work on my paper, and I laughed it off, but he seemed bothered. But he never texted/called afterwards. It's hard because at school I will often see him staring at me and its impossible to get away! Just waiting for the semester to end I suppose.
MidwestUSA Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 He doesn't want to be a rebound, or be involved when your ex comes grovelling again. Can't say that I blame him. Don't you think you need a little more than two months after coming off a 6 year relationship? He's "mixed" up for good reason.
Author starrynightz45 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 He doesn't want to be a rebound, or be involved when your ex comes grovelling again. Can't say that I blame him. Don't you think you need a little more than two months after coming off a 6 year relationship? He's "mixed" up for good reason. He knew about the breakup the day after it happened, and it didn't seem to bother him at all at that time. He was all for it. And no, I really don't feel like I need any more time. The relationship was bad for a very long time, I just didnt have the courage to end it. Since he knew the relationship had JUST ended, it still makes no sense to me what happened exactly.
baRx Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I met this guy in college, and we have almost every class together. He was always very shy/quiet/awkward around me, but eventually asked for my number. He began texting me, and since I thought he seemed interesting, I reciprocated. He began texting me every single day, pretty much from the moment we'd leave class until one of us would go to bed at night. Rarely, but from time to time, he'd give me a brief call to ask me some school related question. Eventually, we went out on a date and it went great, and the daily texting continued. This all happened over the span of a month. Then, my ex-boyfriend (who I had broken up with 2 months prior, and it was a 6 year relationship) came back into my life, wanting to get back together. I was a little thrown off by the entire thing, and told the new guy that I didn't really want to be with my ex, but that things were kind of a mess and I wanted him to know, so he didn't assume anything. He continued texting for a few days, then told me he didn't want to be involved in the situation, wasn't sure if he could commit to anything, and stopped. I said I understood. A week later, I told him I had talked to my ex, and absolutely was not getting back together with him. He repeated that he didnt' want to be involved, so I stopped texting him. He then invited me to hang out with him and his friend, but was very cold the entire night. When I confronted him, he said that he had invited me out as a friend only, and that he felt I had a "shell" up because of my ex. When I told him that wasn't the case, he said he had a lot of personal problems and wasn't really "looking for anything" right now. I'm left pretty confused by the whole thing. Was I wrong to think there was something there? I just don't see myself constantly texting someone if I'm "not looking for anything." I feel like maybe I scared him off, and maybe I took the texts/calls too seriously, while he was just having fun. Now, he no longer texts and goes back and forth between ignoring me, giving me lingering stares when I bump into him in the hallways at school, acting like I don't exist, etc. Just today I went to grab lunch at school and he was sitting at a table in front of me. He must have turned back and glanced at me about 5-6x in the 20 minutes he was there. Then other times he'll walk right past me and act as if I don't exist. Any ideas? So confused! i think what happened here, was that he liked you. you started talking about your ex and it "being a mess right now". what that translates into is: "the ex is back in the picture and i'm on the fence, so i'm not going to commit to just talking to you" *even if you didn't mean it that way* so he backed off and realized he didn't want to be second best. you said that "A week later, I told him I had talked to my ex, and absolutely was not getting back together with him. He repeated that he didnt' want to be involved, so I stopped texting him." this tells me that he didn't believe you, so he's reiterating that he wants no part of it. i think that he invited you out as "friends" because he wanted to see how you would act around him, and see if he can get an answer out of you without asking for one. as far as the rest goes, i don't think you were wrong to think there was something there, because there was - but by you speaking of your ex, that kind of put a stop to the whole thing. the very second a girl tells a guy that the ex is back, or wants to come back, or something along those lines - it's killer. guys NEVER want to hear this kind of stuff, just like you wouldn't want to hear about his ex trying to get back in touch with him.
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