Nik.Nak Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Hi there, I'm very new to this community so I'm not sure if this is necessarily the right spot to be posting this. BUT I'll go ahead and do it anyway So, I've been dating my man for nearly 3 years now and over the past year he's moved to a big city about 45-60 minutes away. Since then, most of our conversations are held via text as we can only see each other 1-3 times a week compared to everyday (before he moved). When I PMS, I analyze everything he texts me. I always end up feeling like he's not being affectionate enough/ he's pulling away from me/his feelings are changing for me but then he'll say something affectionate/use terms of endearment and I feel better for the time being. I try to take a step back, realize that this is irrational and think of what he's done recently to show me he loves me, instead of clinging to him for affection, attention etc. Does anyone else feel this way when they PMS?? I haven't really told him that this happens, maybe I should just bite the bullet and have a conversation with him so we can figure out how to handle it together. Anyway, if this happens to other people, how do you handle it and what else can I do on my own to cope with or alleviate these annoying symptoms?!
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 YES. I am terrible when I PMS. I over analyze everything, cry a lot more than usual, and turn into a seriously clingy woman. That being said, from the get go of our relationship I told my boyfriend I got like that. I told him what to do to. Men are lost when it comes to these things. I sit him down almost everytime I am about to PMS to have a talk. "Alright honey, I am about to go to crazy town [thats what we call it when I PMS] so remember, coddle me like a baby, and remember that it isn't really me, just my hormones. When I get upset over something silly, don't fight me, just hug me and show me TONS of affection. I promise to give you some super awesome blow jobs to make up for it." True story. I love us. He does an amazing job btw, sometimes we get into stupid fights but he always ends up coming around and being the man I have always dreamed of. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Don't expect him to know what to do, which is why I 100% recommend telling him EXACTLY what you want from him during PMS. 1
ali_g Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Hi there, I'm very new to this community so I'm not sure if this is necessarily the right spot to be posting this. BUT I'll go ahead and do it anyway So, I've been dating my man for nearly 3 years now and over the past year he's moved to a big city about 45-60 minutes away. Since then, most of our conversations are held via text as we can only see each other 1-3 times a week compared to everyday (before he moved). When I PMS, I analyze everything he texts me. I always end up feeling like he's not being affectionate enough/ he's pulling away from me/his feelings are changing for me but then he'll say something affectionate/use terms of endearment and I feel better for the time being. I try to take a step back, realize that this is irrational and think of what he's done recently to show me he loves me, instead of clinging to him for affection, attention etc. Does anyone else feel this way when they PMS?? I haven't really told him that this happens, maybe I should just bite the bullet and have a conversation with him so we can figure out how to handle it together. Anyway, if this happens to other people, how do you handle it and what else can I do on my own to cope with or alleviate these annoying symptoms?! What are you waiting to tell him? It will make him feel so much more valued when he knows you're on your PMS and he can "white knight" sweep you off your feet with all the affection : D. Tell him that when you're on your PMS you really really enjoy affection. If he cares about you, he'll know what to do And maybe you'll thank him with a nice BJ next time you see him.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I have been like that recently but he knows I am super emotional when I am PMSing, I cried over Chipotle not having brown rice to him one time so he totally gets it and doesn't get mad, he is super understanding and I appreciate that a lot. I get overly clingy too and he tells me I'm not but I can feel I am, we are in the new stages of our relationship so I want to chill out but I feel unloved lol
sabre80 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 YES. I am terrible when I PMS. I over analyze everything, cry a lot more than usual, and turn into a seriously clingy woman. That being said, from the get go of our relationship I told my boyfriend I got like that. I told him what to do to. Men are lost when it comes to these things. I sit him down almost everytime I am about to PMS to have a talk. "Alright honey, I am about to go to crazy town [thats what we call it when I PMS] so remember, coddle me like a baby, and remember that it isn't really me, just my hormones. When I get upset over something silly, don't fight me, just hug me and show me TONS of affection. I promise to give you some super awesome blow jobs to make up for it." True story. I love us. He does an amazing job btw, sometimes we get into stupid fights but he always ends up coming around and being the man I have always dreamed of. This trait here is every man's dream come true. We are not mind readers and when it comes to knowing what to do we can be down right stupid. We need manuals, rules and howto's. When we are being insensitive and dumb often it is because we just do not know what to do.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 This trait here is every man's dream come true. We are not mind readers and when it comes to knowing what to do we can be down right stupid. We need manuals, rules and howto's. When we are being insensitive and dumb often it is because we just do not know what to do. I have saved myself a lot f let down and disappointment by learning from my past relationships. I used to sit and wonder why my men couldn't do anything right, then I realized I was expecting them to just KNOW. Everyonce in a while a woman gets a man who seems to be great t just knowing, and I am so happy for them, but there is nothing wrong with a man who isn't like that. Many appreciate it and actually listen to it. I apply the same thing to anniversaries and what not. Sure, it may suck some of the romance out of it, but with the right man he will learn and eventually you won't have to tell him a thing. I appreciate the same thing from my man, tell me what I can do, because sometimes I have no idea what I can do. Lol 1
Author Nik.Nak Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Thank you for all of your responses! I know, I should have sat down with him and told him exactly what was going on when my PMS started to change into what it is now. And I will definitely do that the next time I am able to see him, plus talk to him about what I need from him when this horrible week comes around. He's such a great guy and he's always willing to sit down and talk things out with me whenever I need to. I honestly don't know what I've been waiting for, I basically put myself in this situation by NOT talking to him which is pretty dumb of me. But thanks to you nice people, that will change very soon!! So thank you! Lots of good blow jobs coming his way! haha 2
Archgirl Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 (edited) This happened to me every month in my last LTR and now I'm single it's that much worse because I'm perpetually in an undefined/early stage realtionship so feeling insecure and like there's something not right is just that much easier. I've actually started just avoiding the men my life completely for about five days a month or I have a tendency to just "get rid" of them all in one massive "I can't freakin deal with this" hissy fit But it is easier knowing that its just hormonal so I think recognizing it is half the battle. Biologically it's the imbalance in the girly hormones affecting serotonin levels - but this doesn't mean you can't do anything about it. Upping excersise and being extra careful to get enough sleep and being gentle with yourself can help. I also found that extra cuddles and kisses from my man did a lot to soothe the PMT insecure/wrong feeling about the relationship, more than words did- I guess it's a more primal solution to a more primal problem. Good luck! Edited April 4, 2013 by Archgirl 1
BetheButterfly Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Does anyone else feel this way when they PMS?? I haven't really told him that this happens, maybe I should just bite the bullet and have a conversation with him so we can figure out how to handle it together. Anyway, if this happens to other people, how do you handle it and what else can I do on my own to cope with or alleviate these annoying symptoms?! When I'm PMSing, my husband calls this time every month los días de la mujercita (the days of the little woman) and knows that at any moment, I might explode into an emotional firework. I don't mean to; it's not my intention, but I do analyze everything and can become very negative. I don't curse people out or anything like that, but I do get upset really easy. Tears start flowing, and I start pouting, for little to no reason. My husband and I laugh about it later, but when I'm PMSing, it's rare when I think it funny. I've tried different medication and need to try more. So, while I don't know about your relationship with your boyfriend, I do very much understand the emotional turmoil you experience on your period! I don't have any real good advice - sorry! It would be good though to research medication and also to find soothing techniques to control the emotional attacks. One thing that works for me is when I'm in my period, I eat more chocolate (It's a lovely excuse!) and in my free time get a good book (though I have to be careful what kind, cause any sad book can make me a total tearful wreck; science fiction is usually ok though). My husband and I also don't make any important decisions when I'm in my period. We wait till afterward, where admittedly I think much more objectively. So, I encourage you to not make any drastic decision while in your period.
BetheButterfly Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 YES. I am terrible when I PMS. I over analyze everything, cry a lot more than usual, and turn into a seriously clingy woman. Yep! Me too, though sometimes I'm the opposite of clingy... I am really good at pushing people away on my period... have been since puberty. My parents, sisters, and friends all whisper "Watch out... it's that time of the month" when I'm on my period and get like that. That being said, from the get go of our relationship I told my boyfriend I got like that. Awesome!!! I told him what to do to. Men are lost when it comes to these things. I sit him down almost everytime I am about to PMS to have a talk. "Alright honey, I am about to go to crazy town [thats what we call it when I PMS] so remember, coddle me like a baby, and remember that it isn't really me, just my hormones. When I get upset over something silly, don't fight me, just hug me and show me TONS of affection. I promise to give you some super awesome blow jobs to make up for it." Lol!!! So awesome!!! I can totally relate!!! Crazytown lol - that's cute! True story. I love us. He does an amazing job btw, sometimes we get into stupid fights but he always ends up coming around and being the man I have always dreamed of. I'm so glad! Yeah, my husband does an awesome job patiently putting up with me too!!!
RedRobin Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 While it might feel a little counterintuitive when you are feeling bloated and crabby... try this... When I'm PMSing and IN a relationship, I resist the urge to talk much or think much (tough for me)... and just go grab my SO and F his brains out. Works like a charm Those times when I don't happen to have a SO, I resort to chocolate and a masturbation marathon... and lots of other exercise. Really takes the edge off and manages the other yucky stuff too.
frazzled12 Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) Hi there, I'm very new to this community so I'm not sure if this is necessarily the right spot to be posting this. BUT I'll go ahead and do it anyway So, I've been dating my man for nearly 3 years now and over the past year he's moved to a big city about 45-60 minutes away. Since then, most of our conversations are held via text as we can only see each other 1-3 times a week compared to everyday (before he moved). When I PMS, I analyze everything he texts me. I always end up feeling like he's not being affectionate enough/ he's pulling away from me/his feelings are changing for me but then he'll say something affectionate/use terms of endearment and I feel better for the time being. I try to take a step back, realize that this is irrational and think of what he's done recently to show me he loves me, instead of clinging to him for affection, attention etc. Does anyone else feel this way when they PMS?? I haven't really told him that this happens, maybe I should just bite the bullet and have a conversation with him so we can figure out how to handle it together. Anyway, if this happens to other people, how do you handle it and what else can I do on my own to cope with or alleviate these annoying symptoms?! This is the same exact thing that happens to me. I become so emotional during my period week whereas very level headed when I am not on my period. My last fight with my boyfriend was during my period and it seems our fights happen most at this time. All I can say is try your very best to bite your tongue during these times. It is better to hold back from saying something nasty and regret it later. I think talking to your boyfriend will help him understand you better. Good Luck! Edited April 5, 2013 by frazzled12 typo
Author Nik.Nak Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 I slipped up. I got overly emotional during a phone conversation with my BF last night. I ranted about not having enough time together, not having enough of a social life together, not being involved enough in his life in the city etc (because we live an hour apart) I told him that I wasn't sure how much longer I can feel this way and that I want to see him more. He agreed to make more of an effort to make plans and just overall listened to me vent and cry and worry. He reassured me that he has no desire to call it quits. He said we just need to take baby steps and we'll get through this. Then we got off the phone and he went to bed. Overall he was really supportive. I sent him an email a little later after I was able to calm down and think clearly. I thanked him for everything and told him I was lucky to have a man that was willing to fight through a (temporary) long distance relationship, even if things aren't ideal for us right now. I thanked him for putting up with my crazy brain and that he was my love and best friend. This morning he emailed me back to basically say "you're more than welcome! thank you for this email, it made me smile. you're my love and best friend too" So it seems as if last nights conversation didn't get under his skin too much, but I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I, once again, let my emotions rule my brain/actions. It's also very hard for me to forgive myself so these things tend to add up for me and I end up feeling even more miserable. I just hope they don't add up for him and that he's willing to just forget about last night and get back to normal. Today, I feel miserable. I am my own worst enemy and I'm so scared that eventually it's going to ruin my relationship. I need to find something to keep my brain active during PMS/ anytime I feel out of control. I need a hug. I may even talk to my gyno about all this, maybe I have PMDD?
candie13 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 You're lucky, I feel that way everyday, not just for PMS ! If you realize it's PMS, just do what Archgirl suggests: limit the contact as much as possible - from emails to texts. Wait at least the first 2 days. Then, when your normal functioning brains are back to work, start contact again. there's absolutely no need for you to jeopardize your relationship. However, I will tell you this; usually, PMS brings out your own fears. So instead of letting them grow into a mountain, could you not try to explore / address them before turning into an irrational, emotional monster ? cheers
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