miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 With all this negativity, being divorced once already... I loved being married and I look forward to being married again. It is way more than a piece of paper to me. 3
tbf Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 With all this negativity, being divorced once already... I loved being married and I look forward to being married again. It is way more than a piece of paper to me.Marriage means more to me than a piece of paper too. Love it even more, the second time around.
Woggle Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 With all this negativity, being divorced once already... I loved being married and I look forward to being married again. It is way more than a piece of paper to me. I love being married this time around but I have seen enough heartache and drama to understand why some people want no part of it. Ashley Madison is actually a mainstream site these days with thousands of members around the world. What does it say about modern marriage when something like that is so popular?
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Modern marriage is different, but I think that is the beauty of it. You can make it what you want it to be as long as you an your partner remain on the same page about it. I hate numbers and stats when it comes to marriage, because in this world, everything can be abused. All I care about is my own beliefs about marriage and findig someone who shares the same with me.
dasein Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 My problem with marriage (government paper type) is that it is a Legally binding contract. . . that is not legally binding. It needs to be more business like. A woman (or man for that matter) can cheat, breaking the conditions of the contract, and still get half the assets. There needs to be more teeth to the Legally Binding part. You abuse, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. You neglect, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. You cheat, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. It used to be more like that, then the no-fault divorce "revolution" occured. You can read about it here, though wiki has become more and more a biased source that must be very carefully read, and draw your own conclusions. In my jurisdiction, no fault divorce is just another reason men should only marry if they want children. No-fault divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Woggle Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 No fault divorce should be treated as no fault which means you split your stuff and move on with your life. It shouldn't punish people with having to pay alimony and all that stuff. 1
clia Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 My problem with marriage (government paper type) is that it is a Legally binding contract. . . that is not legally binding. It needs to be more business like. A woman (or man for that matter) can cheat, breaking the conditions of the contract, and still get half the assets. There needs to be more teeth to the Legally Binding part. You abuse, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. You neglect, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. You cheat, you violate the terms of contact and get nothing. You can have whatever kind of marital contract you want with a prenuptial agreement, which can spell out what happens if someone cheats, what happens when you get divorced, who gets custody, etc. Unfortunately, many people are so wrapped up in the rapture of love that they don't want to think about the bad, so they take the bare bones marriage contract, which ain't so great. (Although, that is true for many business contracts as well.)
tbf Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 You can have whatever kind of marital contract you want with a prenuptial agreement, which can spell out what happens if someone cheats, what happens when you get divorced, who gets custody, etc. Unfortunately, many people are so wrapped up in the rapture of love that they don't want to think about the bad, so they take the bare bones marriage contract, which ain't so great. (Although, that is true for many business contracts as well.)Custody defined within a prenup won't hold up in family law.
ltjg45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 People who use this argument are cake eaters plain and simple. Men today want everything from a woman without doing much in return. They want someone to cook and clean for them, help them their bills, deal with their bullcrap, give them sex all the time without doing much in return. Hence, why I choose to stay single. Being a man's live in girlfriend without the return investment is not appealing to me. I usually find these people to ether be commitmentphobes or (most of the time) they just dont think YOU are worth it. If it was just a "piece of paper" theyd have no qualms doing it. But lets be real, commitment involves too much compromise and responsibility for the majority of self obsessed men in our country. When you get married you cant put yourself first as much and men dont like that. Really, you need to stop doing this. It is definitely not helping you find someone who isn't like the scum you keep dating. 1
ltjg45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I see what youre saying but talk to alot of the commitmentphobe men on here and once they admit the real reason why...their reasons are not out of laziness its out of self preservation and selfishness You really do make it sound like the woman is completely innocent in every divorce case. I tend to see you always being negative against the males (which I can understand why) but yet you don't even show half of that bitterness towards your own gender.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 You really do make it sound like the woman is completely innocent in every divorce case. I tend to see you always being negative against the males (which I can understand why) but yet you don't even show half of that bitterness towards your own gender. Haven't you heard? Us women are perfect angels.
ltjg45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Why would I risk investing years of my life caring for a guy when over time he turns more into a detached dick? I dont think its worth the investment personally Now ask that same question for the sane marriage-minded males out there? I'm sure they are thinking the same way you are thinking right now.
ltjg45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Haven't you heard? Us women are perfect angels. I guess I am the little virgin demon when you want to put it that way. 1
ltjg45 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Quite the contrary Ive risen my standards quite a bit in the past 2 years It is quite hard to see that given the strength of your posts. I couldn't help but to wonder if you are carrying yourself in a "I don't need a man at all" kind of tone. I can understand why you are in such a stance but that can also backfire on you, depending on how you stand concerning getting into another relationship and when. Which, if that is the case, is why only players is approaching you. For example (and this is serious): I do find you to be quite an interesting woman however if I were to see you walk down the street and I happen to pass you by, I would be a bit afraid approaching you because you could very well knock my head off as a result since you think I'm approaching you with only sex in my mind. In fact, this is one reason why I can count, on one hand, the number of women I have approached in the past 8-9 years. Nope, I dont even talk about women. You prob are referring to me dispelling myths that women are financial bliss after divorce while men are financially ruined. Because they are myths that are overexaggerated. Women are affected more financially by divorce the majority of the time. Women arent perfect I know. I don't know how true that is anymore now with women having far more control over their lives than they did in the past.
man_in_the_box Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 OK, I rarely do this, but in light of some of your other posts here lately, -cite- those "studies," and we will see about their sources, bias, and flaws in their methodologies. Or else stop referring to "studies" and then reeling off what is obviously just your opinion. I'm curious to some if these sources as well. Dear ms. Doll, I've send you a PM to send me some articles on a different subject quite a while ago. However the PM disapppeared from my outbox (or it was never there). Anyone can elude if this happens more often? I've never send PM's via this website so I might just have overlooked something. I'm quite sure I've sent it. But I am curious to where all this overly cited literature does come from. 1
Keenly Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I'll marry the woman who proves she deserves that amount of love and commitment from me. I expect her to have the same standard. Any woman who starts to out on pressure, whether overt or subtle, to attempt to try and get married faster than I am comfortable with, is going to push me away. Any woman who judges me and gets offended when I want them to sign a prenup saying if we divorce for whatever reason , we keep it reasonable and keep the stuff that we came in with etc, if she gets offended by a prenuptial agreement, she is marrying for the wrong reasons is basically my point .
pbjbear Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I'll marry the woman who proves she deserves that amount of love and commitment from me. I expect her to have the same standard. Any woman who starts to out on pressure, whether overt or subtle, to attempt to try and get married faster than I am comfortable with, is going to push me away. Any woman who judges me and gets offended when I want them to sign a prenup saying if we divorce for whatever reason , we keep it reasonable and keep the stuff that we came in with etc, if she gets offended by a prenuptial agreement, she is marrying for the wrong reasons is basically my point . I agree. However, there are men that get prenups because they know in the back of their mind they will want a divorce in the future. I used to work in an environment that had all men in an office, and I heard over 3 men talk about this. They didnt just get a prenup to save themselves financially (in fact some of them didnt make that much more money than their wives??? weird) but also because they knew they couldnt be with one woman for the rest of their life. If my husband asked for a prenup Id agree to it but Id be very wary throughout the marriage he'd walk away quickly when things go south. The same amount of trust would not be there, sorry.
Treasa Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I don't know you Woggle, but from reading your posts, I wouldn't have thought you were married. No offense intended. Are YOU happy with your marriage? I was married for 12+ years to a beautiful, elegant woman until illness took her. I married her because I loved her and that piece of paper that so many people dismiss as a simple technicality means TONS to others. It is a LEGAL declaration of your commitment and love. It should be! If you are not committed or love is not the primary motivator, you shouldn't get married. As I see it, the reason so many people poo-poo the institution of marriage, or the piece of paper, is b/c so many people today (and in the past) married for the wrong reasons. Like others have said, if you are so cynical, make legal arrangements to protect yourself. Men complain, but they shouldn't have to. Get a prenup and with that seed of doubt, mistrust, go ahead and get married. Or/and find a woman with a good paying job or who makes more than you...cynical, indeed. I'm still looking for that lady that makes much more than I do....sigh, how wonderful that would be... Oh man, this made me tear up...right up until the last line. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Oh man, this made me tear up...right up until the last line. I was, of course, kidding about that last line. (maybe) 1
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