L-D Out of Luck, Short bio on my L-D relationship and what has happened to it.

[PornStar121]

I'm at a lost right now, I was in a relationship with a girl that I met this past summer since about June up to this point in September. We fell for each other quickly, it was great. Well she left to go back to school in August, and we began what was our L-D relationship. Before when we were first talking in the summer she told me she didn't want to get hurt and also that she cant handle L-D relationships. Because she said she would need me to be their, I promised her that i would go once out of the month to viste and that if she needed me to be their I'd go as soon as I could.

 

It has been about 3 weeks since I last saw her and we would stay in contact calling each other everyday, and i would usually wait for her to call cause i didn't want to be bothering her and wanted her to call when she had the time or felt like talking to me. One thing to get out right away to who ever is reading this, I had asked her out while she was here in the summer but she said she would tell me when she was ready. So i had been and was under the impression that we weren't going out but we were talking, like/loved each other, wouldn't do anything to lose what we had.

 

She tells me a week ago that i was her BF and i was like "No" I'm not and she said yeah i was and i never knew that we where label in that. She had never told me till that one day. And she said she treated me like a bf and etc., so then she was saying that she was my GF. When all along i thought we were having a relationship that we felt strong for each other and where planning to work it out when i moved up there in the spring.

 

Every day she would call telling me she missed me, loved me, wanted me right then and there at that moment. So this past week everything was fine, we had talked on tues. day and she was happy and telling me she missed me and wanted me etc., on wed. i didnt call and she called me around night and we only talked for 5 min. i was out with my brother who was visiting, thurs. day i called her late cause she hadn't called and she was spending time with one of our friends who was visiting her. so didn't talk to much then. On Friday she called me wanting to talk to me but i was bizzy at the time and she was somewhat drunk and got upset thinking i didn't want to talk. She called me on sat. day and was fine i told her sorry for the other night and that i did want to talk but she had fallen asleep, and we talked about a good 1hr then i called her back to say good morning to her cause i hadnt and to tell her to give me a call cause i would like to talk to her. She calls me back and was telling me she missed me and wanted me, and i had asked her something that made her say "I cant do this" "I cant have a relationship" and i was like no dont be thinking like this dont be silly, etc.

 

So she ends up telling me she want to stop and she cant do this. Its over, that she doesnt want to have a relationship with me, cause she needs me there living in the same city and going to the same school. She said she still cares about me and stuff... but that she has lost her feelings for me that there not as strong as when she was here with me. She was going to be coming down this weekend and we were going to spend time together. But now everything has gone crazy and wrong for me, this girl has changed alot for me and opened my mind up to lots of things, shes been very inspirational to me.

 

I talked to her and said look we were never going out so why are you making this seem like a break up? She said I made her feel like it was a break up cause I was asking her Q's as to why and what. I asked if i did anything wrong, she said no. Just that she doesnt feel for me the same way, she doesnt want a long distance relationship and that she cant deal with it; and i asked her why she try'd one and she said she didnt and that she didnt think it would get the way it was getting to where she couldnt handle me not being there, she also doesnt want a relationship and that she doesnt want to be with anybody right now and if she was she would want the person to be there living in her area.

 

Okay so i asked her how she could say she doesnt feel for me the same way, after that same day she had said earlier she missed me and wanted me. And she said she didnt know, she doesnt have an answer to that. It is very confusing, I know she still likes me and etc. shes been telling me but seem like she doesnt know what she wants. And she is doing this total displacement from me by saying shes not gonna call and stuff and i told her why would you want to do that, i know you still like to talk to me etc. and she agreed, so i said then why would you want to stop talking to me. She doesnt know etc. but that she would call me when she was ready to talk etc.

 

And I ended with telling her this "I want you to know that if what you want to do right now is what you want to do then I respect that I understand why, given the situation that we’re far apart right now. And yeah I know it could maybe work out later and I want you to know that I still like you… and I’m not going to stop liking you, there’s no reason for me to dislike you, and I’m still very attracted to you and attracted to you personality. And I would like to continue our relationship/friendship and I’d like to hopefully see you when you come down this weekend. And just have fun going out; hanging out and partying with you if you’d like to take up that offer, and sharing some good laughs, I think that would be fun." and said goodbye.

 

So thats what happened, the thing is i dont want to lose what we've gained in this relationship/friendship shes a great girl and i would like to possibly have a future relationship with her. I just worry I wont see her face light up again. If any one has any ideas or comments to make on this and the situation or anything please do tell me, it would be very helpful to me.

[YellowLioness]

I'm sorry you got jerked around so badly. I know how much that sucks. It sounds like she's really confused, with her saying that she didn't want a boyfriend, that she did want a boyfriend, and now her total loss of feelings for you.

 

That sounds pretty bi-polar to me.

 

Also, LDRs are nasty. I was in one for nine months, and they are so draining sometimes. I don't recommend them unless it's someone that you actually want to marry or are married to, to tell the truth. If someone has any kind of flaw, or mental disorder, LDRs will bring them out!

 

My humble advice is to move on to greener pastures, and to let her have control of the entire relationship if you want to remain friends with her. I think that when things fall out of her control, then she flips out.