TheFriend Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 My sadness transformed to anger. I just smashed everything that I had left that reminded me of her/ that she gave to me. The mind set shifted from omg I miss you.... to you are a terrible human being,f*** you. (Before anyone says I'm a poor sport read my previous posts) it has never felt so good to break something:) now I am just trying to keep myself from sending her a F*** y**! Text. I have take the high road the entire time and it is getting hard to keep that. (There is no communication going on between us) 3
CorridorE Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Good for you! I don't think there's anything wrong with getting angry, and you should be! Just stay on the high road and keep to no contact--leave thier last memories of you as good ones and it will hurt them far worse in the long run than lashing out will. I had this 'moment' a few days ago myself. Feels good! 1
shatteredworld Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 That's very good news! As stated already, YOU MUST CONTINUE NO CONTACT. As CorridorE said, you do want their last memories of you to be good ones.. think about it as another way of hurting them and making them regret everything. You are well on your way to recovering 2
Damsel in Distress Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I bet that felt great!!! Better than feeling sad, for sure! When I am feeling sad or powerless my friends always rile me up and get me angry... and it makes me feel so much stronger! One thing I do is write angry emails to the ex... but of course never send them! It feels good to get it out though Maintain NC! Don't give any ground now! 2
destroyed4sho Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Good!! Get angry!! I dont know about sending her a fu text...it may start a fight about the breakup and possibly more insults and putdowns that you dont want to hear. Im still angry.and its been months! After anger comes forgiveness and then after that indifference. Its healthy step towards getting over this. 1
Wings Of Love Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Ah, I remember when I reached that point. Didn't break anything, I just shoved every reminder of him in a box and chucked it in the garden shed. And then I stormed around the house ranting in order to work off the anger without contacting him. It felt so good, that was actually the turning point for me. Good for you! If it made you feel better, that's awesome. Just don't break NC. I know how tempting it is, but stay strong. That would just be a setback and you sound like you're doing well. Keep it up! 1
Compromize Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 I just had that moment My sadness transformed to anger. I just smashed everything that I had left that reminded me of her/ that she gave to me. The mind set shifted from omg I miss you.... to you are a terrible human being,f*** you. (Before anyone says I'm a poor sport read my previous posts) it has never felt so good to break somethingnow I am just trying to keep myself from sending her a F*** y**! Text. I have take the high road the entire time and it is getting hard to keep that. (There is no communication going on between us) Good for you!! I have had that moment a couple times in our breakups in the past, always kept something and shoved it in a box under the bed and kept a couple pics on the phone or on the computer. I had the moment you did on Sunday. Our LAST (will for sure be the last) communication made me want to vomit. I ripped up ALL pictures, deleted ALL e-mails (years and years worth) deleted a Dropbox account with backups of pictures, tore up cards, just went ape$hit. It's all now at the dump as my trash was picked up. It sucked to see the pictures as I tore them up but was extremely angry at the same time. They are gone and why do we need reminders of the "good times" to torture us? I even have a tuperware container that she left at my house that did not withstand my wrath. It does feel much better than being sad or be in that place of you know they are gone but part of you is still waiting for something, thinks they are coming back. 99% of the time they do not come back. If we took the combined time that all of us put to this gray "waiting" period, we could have solved all the worlds problems tenfold! LOL. I still have a thumb drive with all of the pictures zipped up on it stashed away. Some day I will delete them, maybe keep a couple of the ones of us together for when I'm LONG LONG past her to see. But she is not the mother of my kids so no reason to keep anything around for anyone's benefit other than my own. Keep on the path my friend TheFriend, I wanted so badly to send her some nasty $hit, especially after what she sent me this weekend about her being the victim and other bull$hit after I gave her what she wanted. It's easier for them to walk away and feel vindicated like they "did the right thing" if we stoop to that level of FU's. I did get a couple barbs in after she threw the first punch but ended it well I think. Man, what we all have given these people that treat us like disposable objects! 2
Author TheFriend Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Thanks for all of the supports guys. If anyone has stuff laying around i would suggest tossing it. I don't care what it is toss it. Don't keep it in hope. I think I feared her coming back and being like "wtf!! You tossed all of your memories of me?!" I really don't care anymore. If she did that i would now say yup! The relationship we had is dead. It's amazing how different you feel. I still have an effing curtain rod and some drapes she helped me pick.... Those will probably end up broken over my leg/burned. But then again i could donate them to someone too....ugh( never been used) 1
Author TheFriend Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 I'm defiantly prepared for that mr soul. Every-time I go on a date i leave sad, I am afraid that will be a continuing trend for a while.
CorridorE Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Thanks for all of the supports guys. If anyone has stuff laying around i would suggest tossing it. I don't care what it is toss it. Don't keep it in hope. I think I feared her coming back and being like "wtf!! You tossed all of your memories of me?!" I really don't care anymore. If she did that i would now say yup! The relationship we had is dead. It's amazing how different you feel. I still have an effing curtain rod and some drapes she helped me pick.... Those will probably end up broken over my leg/burned. But then again i could donate them to someone too....ugh( never been used) Nice! When I got into my angry stage I threw out/donated everything that had memories of him attached to it. I'm not so angry anymore, but I don't regret a thing.
coralie Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Don't be surprised if the sadness comes back. I've moved from Anger to sadness probably 20 times in the past 6 months. I go through these shifts every few days it seems. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Damsel in Distress Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Same here Coralie. I've even had some shifts within a day! I try to hang on to the emotions, but it's so easy to get set back. So frustrating to have a strong day and feel like, okay, I think I'm finally getting through this. Then the next day find your thoughts going down the wrong road and you're back in a hole and have to crawl back out again. It's a roller-coaster.
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