NoodlesWIU Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 I have been dating a girl for a little over 2 years now. for the past 6 months we have been on again off again. She wanted to see me 24/7 as much as she could, and would call at least 4 times a day. I knew this was not healthy and I wanted to see her for about 3-4 to keep the interest there because I knew I loved her, just would feel a little cornered at times. So wed break up for a week or two. And after a week id miss her incredibly...and wed get back together, and things were great for another month...And the cycle would begin again....She is very high maintainence, parents divorced when she was 14 shes an only child...So she was insecure. But I loved her. Now we broke up again.....this time she found someone else within a week of breaking up...I tell her i miss her, and she springs the news on me how she is happy with this guy...And I try to pretend im happy for her. Soon I can't stop thinking about her. I love her so much and I hang on now to the only hope and faith I have left that maybe she will come back because we were so in love. I left a note on her car with a rose one night, then she stops by, and her and I have a few cries telling her how much I love her and miss her. And how honestly I dont want to live with out her. Im almost 25, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl...She told me please to not do anything that her bf would not like. I.E. leave a rose and a note on her car....or something like that. So I said ok, ill do anything you want, but please dont ask me to give up on the only thing I have left, and that is my faith that we were ment to be. And a little later she left. I cant fall asleep at night without having her in a dream of us being together. I work as many hours as I can to just try to keep my mind off her. My house is spotless, my friends only need look at me and know how deeply im hurting... Im so helplessly in love with this girl ive even been looking at rings...wanting to buy her one to keep in my pocket just in case she ever decides to come back because I know shes the one!....Because I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her....Ive cut all contact with her....hoping she will miss me if im not around anymore to call or talk to and get the best of both worlds from this new guy and me when hes not around to fill in the gaps for her. My family is being so supportive...But I just can't get her off my mind....I go out on a date with others thinking maybe its time to move on.....but each time I feel guilty...I have to end the date early...I cant even look at another woman and have any interest because shes the only one I want...... What should I do....I'm so lost...hurt....In love....and hanging on only to hope and faith....I know in my heart she is who I was ment to be with......Please help....This is a pain I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Merin Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 Unfortunately that is the risk people take in choosing to take a "break" that during this "break" one or both people will find someone else. You said that your girl had wanted to spend a lot of time with you before, and for you it was just kind of making you feel cornered. While I can agree with you that everyone needs some space from one another, maybe the way it came across to your girlfriend was that you didn't want her around? It seems that she has found someone else that is giving her the attention she had wanted from you and she wasn't getting..... in so many ways this sounds like you both cared a lot about each other but had different ideas on how much time was appropriate or good to be around one another. I question if you are thinking about getting her a ring right now because you feel it may be the ONLY way to get her back in your life? IF that is the case, then don't. The thing is, it drove you crazy before how much time and attention she needed from you, and as far as I can see nothing for HER has changed. She STILL would need that from you OR anyone else she is involved with. Is this something you really feel you could live with regarding her? OR is it that you miss her so much right now, that you feel you would be willing to "put up with it"
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 13, 2004 Author Posted September 13, 2004 The ring thing. I haven't told her about and wont. So its not a ploy or a bribe....It's my sincerity knowing that if she did ever come back....That would be it for me.... Her new guy I honestly feel is the new relationship feeling. From what my sister and friends tell me this guy is kinda nasty. Eyebrow ring, tounge ring, actor, and stated the most important woman in his life is his mother, and she said it will be hard getting used to the idea of him having so many friends... Has she changed......probably not. Have I....yes! You dont know what you have until you lose it. Will it mean ill have to put up with it if we do get back together...Yes. Will that be ok with me....certainly....not everything in the relationship is perfect or what youd prefer. but you learn to live with it.....And its that desire she had to want to see me so much that I am missing so much right now. Your not talking with a guy whos sad about losing his girlfriend and someone has to tell him it will be alright in time, or youll find someone else..... Your talking with a guy who knows in his heart 100% that this is the only woman for him, and the one he will go on loving to the last beat of his heart! Ive dated tons of women in my life.....And this one stole my heart.....but I dont want it back.....I want her to keep it...It doesnt belong to anyone but her. Believe me on this. This is not just a phase.
Merin Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 Didn't mean to offend you, and I certainly wasn't saying "Just get over it" I was just pointing out to you, how your girlfriend probably felt when you didn't want to spend as much time with her as she did with you..... and as you've said yourself, you don't know what you have a lot of times until it is gone.
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 oh no you did not offend me at all. I just wanted people to know absolutely clear that this isnt a case of, break up, cry a little, move on and find someone else... This is a case of break up...torture day in day out, which I know will ease in time....But will always hold her dear in my thoughts and dreams every day of my life...And that no other woman will come close...God blessed me once...He can do it again...but hopefully with her. If you love something so much.......let it go.......if it doesnt come back.....it wasnt meant to be......If it does...its yours forever.
Mr Spock Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 And that no other woman will come close...God blessed me once...He can do it again...but hopefully with her. If that's your outlook on life, you may as well step in front of a bus. Time heals all wounds. From the sounds of it, you also miss the drama of your dysfunctional relationship. Funny how now that she doesn't want you you're desparate to get her back. I think you need to focus on being a mature SINGLE individual before you enter into a relationship again. Why not spend the time focusing on your friends, and family? STOP MOPING.
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 are you a retard........Step in front of a bus??? be a mature single individual?? Your a bloody crack addict. Some idiots just dont understand. Obviously youve never touched someone's life or been touched by someone elses in a way that words cannot express....Grow up kid. I'm glad in a sense this has happened to me....Because it has been the first time in my life I have been able to understand how deeply I could love another....And that has been a gift from God.
jamwinswim Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Noodles. I hear you on this one and feel your pain. Im going thru something similar, maybe if you have a spare 20mins, read my post. I feel strongly for the one girl I was with, very strongly, and she wanted a break too. It sucks that your girl has found another guy so quickly, and its like a worst nightmare come true - she's found someone to fill the void that the break left. Its a sticky situation - most people, the same advice I get, is just let it be, and if its meant to be she'll come back to you. But Im also feeling you're in love with the person you dated. Do you love the person she has become now? Even with this guy? Is she changing? I asked these questions as food for thought because this is what im going through. I never saw a break coming, and I thought she was it. Now im paying the price just like you my friend. I dont think any one thing will bring those girls back. Just be the best friend you can be right now, its the best thing you might have, and one day, if she is worth it, you will wait for her to come back to you (or that wait may make you realise that shes not for you). I have those sleepless nights, lack of appetite feelings too - just try to keep busy. I know it aint the same, but its better than nothing. Seek your friends, and just try to be the best "NoodleWIU" you can be. Be true to yourself, and let time do its thing. Have strength my friend.
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 Well thank you for those thoughts...Its nice to have someone to empathize with and not just sympathize. However im taking a different approach. I'm cutting contact with her...Sooner or later she will try and call to see what im doing...And I wont be there to answer....ive blocked her from my buddy list, and she knows im always on, so now she will think im never on anymore and maybe start to wonder who im out with or what im doing.....and when she tries to call and cant get ahold of me, she will start to worry more and probably start having an affair with my voicemail....and then will try even harder to get ahold of me..... Its a wet snowball rolling down a wet snow covered hill. Now if only I can get it started....It might work...I'm a regular Don Juan when it comes to meeting new women, so I will try similar tactics....but the problem is I can date 100 women...But I still wont be able to see past her... By the way...Do you know why Don Juan slept with all those women....... It was because he was affraid he would not be loved by one.
jamwinswim Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 wow....I need to watch that movie again sometime. Im not sure about the total NC, but... you got to do what you got to do. If you can be strong and do that, then go ahead. I wouldnt try playing games and making her think stuff... its kinda false.... but you got to do what you got to do. I wouldnt block her... just leave your away message up. She'll look.... give her some food for thought. That might be better than why isnt he online? You also got to take into account - What happens if she doesnt call? Is it worth the risk? Cause if she doesnt, I know its going to kill you. It kills me. Go ahead, meet new women. Remember, you are single now. If she has any emotions for you, she will get jealous, just like you would of her. But dont be blind, you dont know which girl you might come across that might be better. Give them a chance - what have you got to lose? Just try not to be spiteful or negative towards the ex, that doesnt help. Im not saying that my advice is right or wrong, you know im just trying to help. Take it easy bud.
Mr Spock Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Originally posted by NoodlesWIU are you a retard........Step in front of a bus??? be a mature single individual?? Your a bloody crack addict. Some idiots just dont understand. Obviously youve never touched someone's life or been touched by someone elses in a way that words cannot express....Grow up kid. I'm glad in a sense this has happened to me....Because it has been the first time in my life I have been able to understand how deeply I could love another....And that has been a gift from God. Stop being such a whiner. In six months, you'll be cringing at what you've written down. You'll be over it.
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 im still reading through your post original post about your girl...I would never speak ill of her...but if she doesnt call.....just means I can heal quicker..instead of having her call every once in a while and prolonging the suffering. I will keep my eyes open, but im not going out looking either. Maybe someone else will come my way, I just pray that God can smack me in the back of the head and tell me to go for it or hold out. lol
jamwinswim Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 no worries. and thanks for taking the hour to read my post.... im sorry i didnt make it short anyways, im glad to read your last post in better spirits. I think the man upstairs has a plan for us all, whatever your beliefs. Just let it be, and let time do its thing. Be yourself, and you cant really be disappointed because you'll be honst and true to yourself. But it would be nice to get God to smack us all in the back of the head, right?
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 Idiot, in six months I hope to be looking back thinking of how close I came to losing the love of my life..... I hate stupid people.
Mr Spock Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 Denial is a river dude. Don't post things in public forums and then get p*ssed when people tell you things you don't want to hear. I DO think not accepting any contact from her is a good idea. Give you a chance to straighten out your headspace, which IMHO, needs a bit of work. PS-Stupid would be breaking up with your SO every two weeks because you feel she's being clingy, until she gets tired of the horrible treatment and finds someone new-THEN crying foul. How mature is that? To put an insecure girl through that kind of treatment, then when she's trying to make a clean break from you and your demanding ways start playing headgames by leaving roses and crap on her car. Stand back, give her some time to sort herself out.
Author NoodlesWIU Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 If stupidity came in a can, you must have stock-piled on it. You havent got a clue bro. So quit tryin. Dont come into a public forum thinking your going to get nice responses when you post something that is quite rude. friggin morons.
Mr Spock Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 I've also got Prince Albert in a can, if you run out of that too Bro.
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