westjames111 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I have already made several post on this, but here is my situation in a nutshell. Ex left me January for a friend of mine. Completely cut me off, etc. 2 weeks ago I start hanging out with another girl, ex starts texting me again. The first message was a screencap of an instagram pic of me and the new girl, with the words "**** you". The next day I got a message "How could you?" Then the day after that she sent me a picture driving down my road where I live with the text "Ha". She backed off for about a week and then this past Sunday she sent me. "WHY?! out of all the people in the world you could have chosen you picked the girl who bullied me in highschool, you sicken me". Later Sunday night she said "I am beyond pissed at you", and then yesterday morning she text " I dont care how mad you were, what you did is wrong". First I did remember my ex once saying that this girl gave her problems in highschool, but I am not talking to her now for any reason other than I like her personality. My goal was not to look for someone my ex hates. It is actually kind of funny how it worked out. My question is do I keep ignoring the text, or should I say something at this point if she messages again? I haven't responded to her in 3 weeks, and apparently it isnt working. I cant block her number becasue you cant block iMessage and she knows this. She is such a hypocrite in my eyes because she is the one who left me for another dude, now she is making me out to be the bad person. So dumb!!
Cogee Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 She is clearly trying to get you to respond so don't do it. Don't give her what she wants. Just delete the texts as they arrive. The photo of her coming near your place is a little creepy but again it's only being done to get you to react. Be glad you aren't with her any more as this sounds like a person who isn't thinking about more than themselves.
Chi townD Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Ignore it, sooner or later she's going to run out of steam. So, whatever you do, DO NOT go to Victoria Secret and take a pic of a sexy bra and panty combo and send it to her with a caption saying, "Do you think she'll like this?" DON'T DO IT!!! 5
CarrieT Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 You could change your number. But ignore, ignore, ignore is the best route if you aren't willing to change your number. Acknowledging her texts will only show her that she is getting to you. Don't give her that satisfaction. 1
CorridorE Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 She's trying to get a reaction out of you. Don't respond to any of them, just delete them and keep to no contact. If you like the girl you're seeing now simply for her personality, you've done absolutely nothing wrong and she doesn't deserve a response out of you, especially considering she left you. What did she think would happen? You’d pine over her forever and never move on? She seems very immature to be sending you these things. If you really want the texts to stop and for her to be cut off from you, next time she sends and accusing picture or text reply with: Number blocked. Your message was not received. Then she'll clearly get the message to stop bothering you without actually making contact with her.
fancy feast Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Don't take the bait. This is toddler behavior 1
Njeanne Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 she broke it off with you, she cheated you and left you for that person. She is loosing you on the string because you move forward, she doesn't give a crap about you at this point so please do not respond. If you do she'll think you're still there for her.
geegirl Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Don't respond. She is provoking you to get a reaction. She'll get tired at some point. She can stew in her sour grapes. 2
Author westjames111 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Yea her responses are all very immature. She still is with the other guy, she still has me blocked on all social media, she still talks crap about me to other people, and she only says negative things to me when she does text. I don't see anything sincere at all with her actions, and I really don't expect any or care anymore. I DO miss her a lot but I told myself I would never talk to her again after what she did. I just know that not replying hasn't done anything but made her text more. I thought that maybe saying "PLEASE STOP TEXTING ME" or something might work. I will just take everyone's advice on here and from my friends and keep quiet. Even though it is not my intentions it looks like this is getting under her skin more than anything I could ever say anyway.
geegirl Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 You can text, "Please stop texting me." Then she will respond with something ugly. Then you will feel need to defend yourself and text back, then she will text back and call you an a**hole, then you will..and so on and so forth. Best way to deal with people like this is to ignore. 1
Author westjames111 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 You can text, "Please stop texting me." Then she will respond with something ugly. Then you will feel need to defend yourself and text back, then she will text back and call you an a**hole, then you will..and so on and so forth. Best way to deal with people like this is to ignore. I could see that happening. It would turn into a full on argument and a waste of time. She would make me into the bad person. That is what she is doing with this whole thing. Remember "I sicken her".
geegirl Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I could see that happening. It would turn into a full on argument and a waste of time. She would make me into the bad person. That is what she is doing with this whole thing. Remember "I sicken her". I think she is waiting for an opportunity to open fire on you and make you feel bad. It doesn't matter what you say as long as she gets to convey her nasty to you. Plus, no matter what you say in that argument, you won't win. I have a feeling she knows what she did was wrong but now wants to look like the good guy by making you seem like a complete jerk for dating this woman. Takes the focus off her and relieves her guilt for doing what she did.
Author westjames111 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I think she is waiting for an opportunity to open fire on you and make you feel bad. It doesn't matter what you say as long as she gets to convey her nasty to you. Plus, no matter what you say in that argument, you won't win. I have a feeling she knows what she did was wrong but now wants to look like the good guy by making you seem like a complete jerk for dating this woman. Takes the focus off her and relieves her guilt for doing what she did. That is so dumb. After all she has done to me she see's me in the wrong. Only to make herself feel better. It's like I cant catch a break in this.
geegirl Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 That is so dumb. After all she has done to me she see's me in the wrong. Only to make herself feel better. It's like I cant catch a break in this. Trust, there are those that behave this way. You're not the first. You are catching a break. The one that has her knickers in a knot is your ex. You're moving forward from this hot mess.
Object_a Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 She has no right to be angry at you after what she's done. She is just upset that you ruined her little ego trip by showing you can live without her. Block her and get on with enjoying your life! 2
Seachelle1 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Honestly I don't know. I don't know her and I don't know you. In my relationship when my ex moved next door with his new gf, a response to my frantic emails (which were not threatening and simply said 'I'm freaking out, please stay away from me and remind me of your humanness because I'm going through a tough time and your gf just came over and tore me to pieces, please don't let her do that') would have prevented a lot of pain on both sides. Just a simple response that said, 'I'm sorry you're hurting, I'm not trying to hurt you, let's work something out so you don't panic going outside your front door' would have helped me so much. This is way different. Do you have reason to believe that this will escalate? It's kinda creepy what she's doing. Remember that many men have been abused by women and that this can escalate badly. (I'm NOT joking.) Is there anything you can do to diffuse the situation? Your object, in my opinion, is to make the situation less painful for yourself and everyone. Will you achieve that by responding or will it make the situation worse? If the answer is yes, it will make it better, then you absolutely should. IMO, it is not about pride and dignity, it is about doing the best thing, the kindest thing for everyone (including you). When I worked at a domestic abuse shelter and was abused myself I learned a lot about how to diffuse anger for my own safety and the safety of women I loved. If you do contact her and she is violent, stick to one subject, choose a sentence that ends the conversation and keep saying it over and over and stand your ground. For one woman it was, "the lawyer's appt. is on Thursday. We will review problems at that time." Just say it over and over until you're safe and away. Do not engage. The abuser will lose their steam. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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