Author drew_meister Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Hmm... Well, OP, wherever you go... there you are... You sound like the high maintenance one. You marry someone from another country hoping to avoid your personal issues. Now you feel entitled to previously unmarried women without kids?? And you lie about your life. I'd say men like you on OLD are par for the course. (ladies, pay attention. Don't sleep with a guy until you can verify someones background) Wow. You really know nothing about our marriage and yet all this judgment... I did not marry someone from another country to avoid personal issues. I married her because at the time I was in love with her. She happened to be Japanese. We were living in Paris at the time so it's not like I was avoiding American women. I never said I was entitled to an unmarried woman without kids. MOST women using OKC are unmarried and without kids. I made the observation that they avoided me like the plague until I lied about not having kids. I doesn't bother me one bit if a woman is divorced. I don't even mind if they have kids. What I was trying to say was - at this time I'm not interested in dating a woman with kids when I cannot even see my own because it would feel like I'm trying to create a surrogate family. But you of course assumed the worst... I'm not going to deny lying but you are distorting the circumstances to suit your twisted agenda. Which I'm not even sure what it is, other than attempting to create paranoia and hatred for men. I mean seriously, a background check before you sleep with someone...
Author drew_meister Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Unlike the OP, I don't ask for things I can't deliver myself... Women aren't obliged to be fixer uppers... nor should they be looked down upon because they want someone with a similar background. I find it rather amusing that so many guys feel they are still entitled to the cream of the crop after they have royally f*cked up their own lives... I'm not the one who f*cked up my life. My ex did when she broke the law and took my kids to Japan.
Author drew_meister Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Have to agree with this one... He didn't want to date american women (probably because less of those were giving him a chance), went for a foreign woman and STILL felt like he settled and got a divorce, even though he probably knew that means not seeing his kids again. That makes me question his quality as a father too. And nothing is more of a turn off for a wise woman than a man who is a bad father. Sorry OP, but I just don't see how you are a catch for a "highly desirable" women. Again WTF with all the judgment. I did not go to a foreign woman or settle. My ex was a professional ballet dancer and we met in Paris while I was living there. She moved to the US to be with me. She slowly fell into depression after retiring. Having 2 kids allowed her to shift focus and things were better for a while, but she's not the same person I met. It didn't help that I travel a lot for work. I'm not going to pretend I was the perfect husband, but I've always been a terrific father. I asked her repeatedly to go to therapy or counseling but she refused - typical Japanese. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce.
zebracolors Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Again WTF with all the judgment. I did not go to a foreign woman or settle. My ex was a professional ballet dancer and we met in Paris while I was living there. She moved to the US to be with me. She slowly fell into depression after retiring. Having 2 kids allowed her to shift focus and things were better for a while, but she's not the same person I met. It didn't help that I travel a lot for work. I'm not going to pretend I was the perfect husband, but I've always been a terrific father. I asked her repeatedly to go to therapy or counseling but she refused - typical Japanese. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. Well you did actually say in an earlier post that you “avoided attractive American women”..however My apologies for my presumptions.:(For what its worth I take all of it back, however I still feel that you should focus on getting life back in order. Its good that you are going out and doing things, but I think meeting people with the intention of getting into social circles making friends would be better for now. This way you're making friends who are not going to be expecting anything from you, and you'll get sincere support. Then maybe when you don't feel lonely anymore, you'll be dating for the right reasons.
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