jags2bowl27 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I was just wondering... been talking to a new girl now for 2 weeks after meeting online. We have gone on two dates, first was a little awkward but it was good convo. We met up a few days later for a few hours and she opened up a bit... just getting to know eachother you know. We have texted now since the second date everyday.. just for about 30min-1hr just to see how the days went. Problem is, im having to start the convo. So my question is, knowing that she is reserve and a little shy (her personality), is it bad to wait a day or so to see if she will initiate it? I hate playing games but I am curious. Last night she was quick to respond... like RIGHT AWAY, like she was waiting. We have already talked about a 3rd date..... What you guys think
MidwestUSA Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Instead of playing games, and "testing", why not throw it out there that she is welcome to contact you anytime? Just to chat or whatever? Keep it light and casual. What if she "fails" your test? 1
Author jags2bowl27 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I agree with you... but i havnt even left a day for her to not contact me haha.... i agree I want her to be able to contact me but after learning about her, I know she is really shy before getting to know someone. Do you recommend taking a day or two off? She also still checks her profile a lot online but has said multiple times the other guys she has spoken to just want in her pants lol
GiGi05 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I agree with you... but i havnt even left a day for her to not contact me haha.... i agree I want her to be able to contact me but after learning about her, I know she is really shy before getting to know someone. Do you recommend taking a day or two off? She also still checks her profile a lot online but has said multiple times the other guys she has spoken to just want in her pants lol I don't recommend those games. I do play them myself and it has caused confusion and misunderstandings on both ends. I too check my profile when I'm interested in other guys, she may be seeing if u are too. I don't do it bcuz I'm still looking but until it's serious I won't take it down or stop looking. I think you should continue to do what u have been doing. I am kinda like her with that and if u stop she's gonna get the idea your losing interest and make her feel insecure. That's exactly why I think the guy I'm talking to isn't interested anymore. The communication is slowed and I feel like I'm the only one initiating it and it makes me want to stop but then what? It's just too much work to play the games so just keep building on what you started by not changing a thing.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I don't recommend those games. I do play them myself and it has caused confusion and misunderstandings on both ends. I too check my profile when I'm interested in other guys, she may be seeing if u are too. I don't do it bcuz I'm still looking but until it's serious I won't take it down or stop looking. I think you should continue to do what u have been doing. I am kinda like her with that and if u stop she's gonna get the idea your losing interest and make her feel insecure. That's exactly why I think the guy I'm talking to isn't interested anymore. The communication is slowed and I feel like I'm the only one initiating it and it makes me want to stop but then what? It's just too much work to play the games so just keep building on what you started by not changing a thing. Do you think i should take mine down or stop checking it?
Crila16 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Well...being a female...I'm just like your new girlfriend. I never ever have initiated a phone call or txt with a guy in the beginning. It's not right or wrong...just my preference. I feel the man should chase after me. I'm a old fashioned in that way, and it's how I was raised. I have had guys say to me...how come you never contact me first? I always say "Because it's just not my style." It doesn't mean I don't like the guy...in fact, it's the reverse...it means I do and I want the guy to chase me. I don't want to chase him away by coming on strong, so I ALWAYS let the man initiate. I would wait a little longer before saying something to her. Chase her for a bit. If she picks up or responds to your txt's...it means she likes you. After you get to know her, then talk to her. If you two end up in a serious relationship, she'll start calling and contacting you without even thinking about it.
Crila16 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Oh...and stop with the games and the testing her. If she's anything like me...you will never hear from her again. I never call. If the guy stops calling me...I assume he's not interested. There's no need to be childish about this. Be an adult. If you desperately need to ask her, just come out and ask her. 1
GiGi05 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I wouldn't take the profile down just yet. Don't give yourself totally to her (even if u really have in your heart) just leave it there so u don't look like ur coming on too strong or fast. Like I said do play games don't overthink just go with how it feels.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Thank you so much for that response, that was what i needed to hear.... just ddint want ME to come off too strong either. Shes a sweet girl and I can see a lot of potential in her
Crila16 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 @Jags...you're the man, she is the woman. You're courting her. You're not coming on too strong by txting her first and asking her on a date. If she's old fashion like me...then we feel it's your job as the male. I don't care what anyone says...agree or disagree...men are the hunters and women are the hunted. It's not ok for women to chase men, and it will never be ok in most situations. 1
GiGi05 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I agree with this. The guys that chased me in the beginning (you need mutual reciprocation in a relationship of course) led to better dating relations. I dont fully agree with the book Hes Just Not That Into You but I do agree with the idea that guys who arent insecure and who are really into you will chase you in the beginning. By chase- I mean initiate communication and dates, not coming on too strong. Every single time I had to chase a guy and initiate more than once in awhile in the beginning, he never was that into me. This includes shyer guys men so dont throw that excuse at me. I wasted 2 months of my life chasing a shy guy and it turned out he wasnt into me and had no issues chasing after another girl. I did something else similar to that when I was younger too I so agree!!! Any time I did the chasing, he ended up not being that into me. Doing it as we speak! He slowed the conversation so I have backed off and so far if I don't initiate he doesn't either. So I agree. A guy who chases u likes you.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Wait to see what she does when you have sex. She might still be reserving herself mentally until she knows youre the real deal, THEN she will start initiating. So when she starts, she will be all in. SO dont worry about it for now, just keep your attachments at a minimum until you know shes into you, yknow?
sabre80 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 If she is responding to your texts and calls stop over thinking it. Who cares if you are initiating or not. Its when you send a text and 3 days later you get a response that you start checking out. Before my girl and I became exclusive she never initiated. In fact we only communicated over text/phone to set up dates and logistics. After we became a couple she calls me every morning and every evening. She initiates all the conversations now.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 funny story, not kidding, she texted me today first lol
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