tomba Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 Hi everyone... I'm 24 yrs old guy from Poland and I'm happy I found this website... Maybe You Guys will help me unerstand something or give some advice... which I need right now.... really really badly... So I started dating a girl from my university group 3 months ago. After couple weeks I discovered (she told me) that she has a boyfriend and what is more... they are engaged and live together. Ok, we talked a lot, I knew that they were having rough times and she kept telling me that she don't want me to leave, that time will show... And that she's not sure she want him, etc. - generally speaking - crisis... I was kinda interested in pursuing this relationship, since I liked the girl. So we pursued.. It was getting better and better, we were spending almost every hour we could together, whole weekends, etc. He didn't know about anything, even when he realized something he actually didn't care... they didn't have time to spend together so we were spending that time... 2 months were like that, then like 2 weeks ago he moved out from her apartment... So I was finally happy... Our relationship bloomed... It was great it was awesome... I knew she still had him in her mind... But I worked on that part that she would forget... One day they met to talk and next day she told me that it couldn't be like it was before anymore... Maan, that just killled me... This was like .. I don't even know... I still cannot think logically... Anyway we talked after that and she told me she realized that she still has feelings for him. She is in love with me, but they've lived together for 1,5 yrs and she had to give a chance to repair it to have clear conscience. well, it goes like that in general........ of course I fully believe that she is in love with me and I'm with her, I know it, I saw her eyes, heard her words and been with her... She wasn't cheating me for sure... And I know that maybe she still had some feelings for him. But why this situation made a u turn - 180 degrees - in one day... ?? Now she told me that like a week ago she still believed that we will make it and be together so why it ended like that ? She told me that if she didn't go to meet him maybe it would be ok, but probably later on she would make a phone call or something and it would happen anyway... So she had to tell me this and now she's not sure she made a right decision, but she realized that besides what does she feel for me, she had to give a chance and if he forgived her she decided to do it... There are couple more aspects that she might have worried about... They planned to have a family, wedding.... She lost her mom and aunt 2 years ago... She survived her clinic death in a hospital... She is 25 and thinks that it's time to settle down and start thinking about family... maybe if she had all the plans and somebody she loved, it's too late to start something new and not knowing that it will work out... Ok, my point now is.... I'm badly brokenhearted... I cannot eat, sleep and I simply cannot see myself living without her... What to do ?? Maybe some of You been in something like that... He still didn't move in yet... They talked and started doing something to make it better... But I don't know how to change her mind... cause I know she doesn't love him now that much... they will have to work on that to be like maybe 6 months ago... Maybe he made her brainwashing during that meeting and that's why she completely shocked me... I don't know... I'm frustrated and feel like puking... Any comments and suggestion will help me for sure... Thank You very much and I felt better when I shared it with someone.... Tom
Butchey Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 Let her go man. Do you really want someone who cannot make up her mind. If you win this battle someday you will lose the war because she will be saying the same things to a new guy when she is with you for a time. Been there, done that!
tomba Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 That would be the best option, the problem is I really can't make it... Now every day is worse... The feeling is not wiping out or at least fading... And I really believe that she still has those feelings for me, dropped a visit today and everything was like before.... (hugs, kisses, etc) except 2 hours talk and some tears... So unfortunately nothing's changed.... I know I sould walk away and leave her with that... but I simply can't... Thank You all anyway...
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