Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 2005 I was deployed overseas. I married my fiancée for more benefits wile deployed.... we late had a formal wedding once I came home........We had been together almost a year. She slept with only one guy in college about 10 times and this was all behind her high school boyfriends back whom attended the same college... He never knew she slept with this per guy that he did know.....She told me this when we met. She grew up religious and obviously was not promiscuous having only 1 partner. When I deployed she met a person with some community power. She was 22 and he was 36. I found out through an inadvertent email while I as in combat that she was "talking" to this guy. I called her/confronted her and she said they met a couple times and only kissed once in his vehicle. I asked for details.... She said they met in an old parking lot at 230 in the morning and he started kissing her. She admitted that he felt her up rubbing her crotch. She said that she rubbed his penis on the outside of his pants but no genitals were ever exposed. She denies they went any further saying no oral and no sex....... This guy was married with kids at the time and she claims that he stopped and they parted ways but didn't say why they stopped making out and heavy petting....... It came up recently (last week) several years after we had moved on and I now believe they may have had sex? She claims they never did but I think she doesn't want to lose me so she is sticking to her story...... Considering the circumstances here, what do you think?..... ????????
Emissary Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Yes she cheat...she rub his penis and kiss him...that mean she had choice...she choose rub his penis...she respect you no...because........she think can she get away...with...it. You is must...go back deployment....no see her again...yes....dump bitch........... 1
Divasu Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 You can't be serious with this post? Yes, of course she did.
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 As a female....did she go further? I guess I know she cheated based on what she is telling me........but reading the details, do you think they had sex?
Divasu Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Who cares whether or not they did. What you said happened is bad enough. 1
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I'm asking if they went further since she won't admit
Divasu Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 With all due respect OP, there's no way for any one us to know. 1
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Thus the conundrum I guess I am looking for a answer that I can never find
Divasu Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Thus the conundrum I guess I am looking for a answer that I can never find I disagree. You don't need an answer, this should be answer enough: She said they met in an old parking lot at 230 in the morning and he started kissing her. She admitted that he felt her up rubbing her crotch. She said that she rubbed his penis on the outside of his pants but no genitals were ever exposed. This guy was married with kids at the time and she claims that he stopped and they parted ways but didn't say why they stopped making out and heavy petting...... 2
Imajerk17 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) YES she cheated. I don't care if nothing more than what you said happened (yeah right!) meeting someone at 2:30 am is IN AND OF ITSELF cheating. There is something called RESPECT. Putting yourself in a situation that even looks that bad is a huge no-no even if nothing physical happens. Although something physical DID happen by what you found out so... I am doubly sorry you have to deal with this while deployed. Thank you for your service. Edited April 2, 2013 by Imajerk17 1
Noproblem Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 She was alone, everyone is having some, why the hell she doesn't try to feel something! She cheated yes, but you would do the same in her place ....Most probably! The fact it bothers you after all these years mean you don't trust her and you don't love her enough to forgive her..... So maybe it's better to let her go! 1
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I know what you're saying but would you rather have your wife banged, used, and enjoyed??. or would you rather her just kiss someone like it was an innocent encounter. I want the details. I get that passionately kissing someone is enough to be cheating.... but bending her over and ramming her or pinning her legs back over head is a different ball game isn't it?
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 "community power"? At 02:30 in a parking lot? Hmmm, let me guess. Donut shop involved? Tough to say my friend, thats quite a few years (2005) worth of dust covering her tracks, but sounds kinda fishy to me. Then again I would probably dump her based on the info you have thusfar. 1
Noproblem Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I know what you're saying but would you rather have your wife banged, used, and enjoyed??. or would you rather her just kiss someone like it was an innocent encounter. I want the details. I get that passionately kissing someone is enough to be cheating.... but bending her over and ramming her or pinning her legs back over head is a different ball game isn't it? Try to tell her, that you and her won't be the same without knowing the truth.....Which is true, you really can't move on without knowing the truth. 1
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) I ASSUME you mean intercourse??, of course she cheated! Edited April 2, 2013 by BrokenHeartedSavior Sp
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Wow bud, did they HAVE to go any further??? And yes they did. Sorry.
Divasu Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I know what you're saying but would you rather have your wife banged, used, and enjoyed??. or would you rather her just kiss someone like it was an innocent encounter. I think most people would struggle more with the former. Personally, if I were in your shoes, it would hurt me a lot more if it was the former. Whatever the case may be, either actions are damaging. I was just having this conversation with my sister the other day. Everyone is capable of cheating given the right situation and motives. But, everyone is also capable of not putting themselves in risky situations where there is temptation. Her husband is constantly traveling and in the company of both men and women in environments that include dinner, wine, etc., late nights, weekend trips, etc. They've had this exact conversation and my sister told her husband that if he ever found himself in a situation where there was enough temptation to cheat, she would understand. But, she has also asked that he try to remove himself first from said situation if it ever arose. Now, I don't know if that is the right approach or not, but I do think it's realistic (especially in this day and age). You can rationalize it however you choose, but at the end of the day it's on you to decide what you should do. Can you live with it, or not? Will you ever be able to trust her again? 1
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Yeah I mean intercourse. Do you think she actually got penetrated or is she telling the truth? Why do you think so?
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Uhm, because it seems fairly obvious. Not sure why it would matter to you though. Thats MORE than enough to be "cheating"! I'm sure you were deployed for more than one nite, between the hours of 02:30 and 02:45, correct?
Renard99 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Does it really matter whether they had full on sex or not? She effectively cheated as soon as things got heated. If I was with a woman and she started coming on to me very strongly I'd say 'Sorry, I'm in a relationship' as soon as it started. Sounds like that never occurred to her. If someone walks into a bank and starts waving a gun around saying 'this is a robbery' but doesn't leave with any money you don't let them off saying 'it's ok, they didn't go all the way'. Even if it never went any further than heavy petting this time, what's to say that she won't be seduced again and possibly go further next time. I'm sorry, but if I was in your position I simply could not trust her and that would be a deal breaker. 2
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Yeah it think it does matter. If she just kissed and groped back in the front seat I can understand that it may have been heat of the moment. If she went so far as to give him oral or take her pants off and move to the backseat for thrusting I would think that is much worse. Lets be real here, there is a difference
Renard99 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) Yeah it think it does matter. If she just kissed and groped back in the front seat I can understand that it may have been heat of the moment. If she went so far as to give him oral or take her pants off and move to the backseat for thrusting I would think that is much worse. Lets be real here, there is a difference For you there's a difference, but there isn't for me. You're way more tolerant than me if you can excuse kissing/feeling up with another guy as being simply 'heat of the moment'. Again, if someone was coming on to me my conscience would tell me that what was happening is wrong and I would act on that feeling. I'd expect any partner of mine to think the same way. And again with the bank robbery analogy, if a whole load of friends who were having a good time said to me 'come on, let's go and rob a bank' I wouldn't wait until I was stood in the bank holding a gun before thinking 'I probably shouldn't be here'. Even if she didn't go all the way, in order to get lost in the moment she had to be be emotionally invested..... which means emotional cheating..... which in my book is still cheating! Edited April 2, 2013 by Renard99
Author Julesandvincent Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Yeah it think it does matter. If she just kissed and groped back in the front seat I can understand that it may have been heat of the moment and she was taken advantage of by an older influential guy.... If she went so far as to give him oral or take her pants off and move to the backseat for thrusting I would think that is much worse. Lets be real here, there is a difference... Rated R or XXX....???
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