zanzi Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Do you think seeing them most weekdays is too much? How long does it take you to miss them? What would you categorise and too needy, or too distant? e.g., 5 days a week? 2 nights a week?
AMusing Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I see my current boyfriend about 2x a week: one weeknight date and usually one date on Saturday afternoon that lasts until Sunday afternoon. Sometimes more, if there's something cool going on, but never less than twice a week. Part of me wishes I could see him a little more, but the other part of me loves having enough time and space to enjoy the rest of my life. It gives me enough time to miss him, so it keeps things fresh and exciting. Plus, my feelings for someone definitely grow when I'm not with them, so the time apart brings us closer together. I've been with him for ~6-7 months. My most recent ex (dated on-and-off for maybe 1.5 years).... Oh god, I saw him every day. It was a very unhealthy relationship. Like clockwork, he'd come over to my house by 6 and not leave until 11-12 at night. He spent the whole weekend days at my house, too. He wouldn't wait for an invite (even at the beginning); he just assumed he'd be seeing me. I should've set better boundaries, but I had just moved to a new city and was very lonely. Seeing him so much left me with NO time to make other friends. That relationship was unhealthy all around: he literally never spent the night, he very rarely wanted me to come to his house, and eventually he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Before that, I guess I saw my boyfriends about 2-4 times a week.
iris219 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 As often as we can. We miss each other right now. We try to see each other every day, even if it's just for a little while. For example, we often try to eat lunch together and he switched gyms so we could meet and workout together. We don't always get to spend the night together though. We won't spend the night together this week until Thursday. Then we'll spend Friday and the weekend together. We're both counting down until Thursday. He has a date night planned for us as well. We might be a bit excessive because we're still in the beginning stages of our relationship (3 months). I think it's normal to want to be together constantly in the beginning, right? A year from now, it might be different.
KraftDinner Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Every day...because we live together! But even before we officially lived together, we saw each other and stayed overnight almost every night. When we need some personal time, we just do our own thing and don't chat for a little while. Never lasts long. OP, here is my assumption about why you're asking: you don't feel you see your SO enough and are trying to establish if it's normal, and maybe even determine if his or her interest level is lower than yours...am I in the right ballpark? Truth is there is no right or wrong. But generally, the one who wants to spend the least amount of time will determine the frequency. This is an area where compatability comes into play. 1
Jane2011 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 He and I are pretty addicted to each other. He's wanted me to live with him from the start, but it's not possible right now. We see each other every day, but I would say only five days are we are able to spend 4+ hours together. I spend the night four nights a week. I'm pretty happy this way. I get some alone time, but I see him a lot too.
sabre80 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 We are both single parents so we only see each other on the weekend. But I start missing my girl on the car ride home after dropping her off.
syw0806 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I see my boyfriend 2-3 times a week. We both adults with jobs and specially he works sometimes late long hours..but he manages his time to see me at least 2-3 times/wk. Once in two weeks or a month I would sleep over at his place.. he lives about 20 mins away btw In the very beginning he'd say we shouldn't see eachother everyday bc it will get bored faster lol I think we're spending enough time seeing eachother..well I want to see him everyday and we don't even spend whole half of day or something when we see, but def. it makes us miss eachother and he always tells me how he misses me..
Crila16 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I see my current boyfriend once a month for maybe 5 - 6 days at a time...then I go 3 weeks with just phone calls 20 x's a day. I live in NYC/NJ area...he lives in Pittsburgh. One good thing, he's moving here to be with me, so I'll see him all the time. I still think that when you start out, 2 - 3 times a week is ok. Once you become serious, you still need to give each other space.
Brunettie Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) My boyfriend and I see each other 1-2 times per week. Sometimes more if there's something going on. We've been dating 10 months In the beginning (like someone else said) we'd see each other WAY more often. As often as possible. We'd text all day everyday and if there was any time to spend together, we did. Nothing was too much. That diminishes once the honeymoon period is over. Now we will at least talk some everyday (a few texts or a phone call) and see each other generally once or twice a week. Sometimes a day will go by where we don't talk, but that's normal too. I miss him probably after a day or two of not seeing him. I think about him all the time though. too needy? hmm...I don't know. I'm fine with texting off and on all day and seeing each other often. I guess I'd classify it as...you don't respond to the text withint 10 mins? resend and repeat. You don't pick up the phone when they call? they keep calling until you answer then ask where you were. Too distant for me would be not talking for 2-3 (or more) days at a time and a week and a half or more passing where we don't see each other. (unless something is going on with one of us, and we are not able to get together for whatever reason) Edited April 2, 2013 by Brunettie
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Almost every day since our first date. He and I were and still are crazy about one another. Almost 6 months later and we still hate being apart for more than a day. The longest we Have ever been apart has been 2 nights, and even then we were in constant contact.
EasyHeart Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Anything between 1-3 times a week sounds normal to me. A lot depends on your age and circumstances. When I was in school, it was typical for me to see my girlfriends every day and spend as much time as we could together. But as an adult, I and the women I date have responsibilities and commitments, so we simply don't have time to see each other every day. As you get older, quality becomes more important than quantity.
Author zanzi Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 actually, the reason I'm asking is because me and my boyfriend rarely spend more then a night or two apart and haven't been apart for longer then a week since we got together. When we were apart that long it felt like an age. To me it seems slightly unhealthy and thats why I asked, but I love being with him. He's a very good friend as well as partner, so we hope to always be friends even if things go south. I'm just worried that neither of us are emotionally well enough at this stage to be with each other, and that we depend on each other too much. I'd like us to have a healthy relationship. I have matured since I met him (he is about seven years older then me.) and feel like I always want there to be a space for him in my life. But I wan't to have a life, too.
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