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Posted

I got it last night.

 

I didn't even realize it was him until I called the number back and got the voice mail. (He didn't leave a message.) I had taken him off my phone when we originally broke up. I didn't have his number memorized because I had him under his name in my smartphone. So I genuinely called back not knowing it was him.

 

Why is he calling me?

 

I deleted the number off my phone so I can't see the number and can't re-dial it and I won't try and get in contact with him. NC is still in place. Haven't looked at facebook or reddit or his blog. I turn my face from his home when I walk outside and walk with my head down and my glasses off when I go outside (he moved next door with his new gf). I'm working at this.

 

I am in between pleasure (he cares for me! I'm not a horrible person and I deserve love!) and pain (why does he hurt me so much?).

 

I know. I need to work on my self-esteem apart from him. I'm going to counseling. My next appointment is Wednesday. I'm working hard to get better and be a kinder, calmer person.

 

Does anybody have words of wisdom, comments or good thoughts to send my way?

Posted

God knows.. It's not fun how even a missed call can make you

Analyse or go through possibilities maybe its better you didn't take the call..

Where would u be now ..

Fair play on your no contact so far your doing great !

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