Snakeboy1983 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Hello everyone, this is actually my first post ever on this website. My situation shouldn't be complicated except I'm making it really hard for myself. How should I put it into words? There's this one girl I have been really close friends with for 3 years. I'm in my late 20s and she's in her early 20s. We met in 2010, and we always talked to each other daily and pretty much almost every minute during the entire time, whether it was hanging out, phone call, text message, everything. We go out a lot just the two of us, but we're not really a couple. We often shared secrets, personal stories, and daily life experiences. I mean I can understand we are super good friends (perhaps I'm friendzoned already), but as most people with similar experiences can guess, I started to become really attracted to her. Anyhow, about a week ago, I finally manned up and told her I like her. At the time she seem surprised yet she wasn't upset or anything negative towards my confession. I also told her if she wasn't up for it, please honestly reject me so I can move on without any regrets. Not only did she not reject me, but she also asked me what should we do going forward? I told her I want to see her more and take things slowly, and she agreed to it. So yeah, I thought everything was good and perhaps I got something going. At the end of the evening I took her back to her home, and said good night. I text her as usual and thanked her for the day and she text back saying the same, "thank you for the day." This is where I'm confused and started to doubt everything. The next day I text her asking how she was doing in school while I was on a business trip. She didn't reply back for 2 days, and when she did reply back it was like in the middle of the night, and she asked how was my trip. So the next morning I replied back telling her about my trip, and then asked her what are her plans over the weekends. But no reply since then, and it's been 3 days now. So over the past week or so, I only received one message back from her. I haven't messaged her back either because I don't want to look needy or insecure. But I also don't want to be too pushy either. Perhaps it was a lot for her to accept right away. I don't know. My feeling tells me she's not into me and that I should just give up and move on though. That is why I'm asking for some expert opinions on this. Am I doing the right thing by giving her space and time by not being too pushy? Or there's something else I could do? Thank you very much!
wisernow Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I'm by no means an "expert" but to me it sounds like she is passive aggressively dumping you. When you let her know that you were interested in a different sort of relationship than the one you had, she should have spoken up then and either agreed or disagreed. She really didn't do either. The big tell is the way she is treating you now, i.e. ignoring your calls and texts. She's young (likely immature) and apparently needs a few lessons in open communication and asking for what you want or don't want. Perhaps you could send her a text (or call, if you think she'll answer) and ask for a face to face, talk to her honestly, ask her if she's freaked out. Then you can either rescind the offer for a different sort of relationship, go back to the friendzone, or walk away. But yea, it's unlikely she's open to anything more than friendship. 1
Recommended Posts