runningfar Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I might be moving soon. I'm a little scared because my work is very much built up through personal relationships and networking. Especially since I do not look like the typical trainer and my reputation needs to spread for what I can do and what I can do for people -- and getting programs startedto teach children can be a lot of gaining trust in the right places as well. But, it's a job. And he is great. And he makes much more money than I do anyways and isn't concerned about when I get set up again. And he is willing to adopt children, which I have wanted from the moment it became that I couldn't have any.... Any stories from yourself or people you know? Anything to consider?
Author runningfar Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Old enough. Not in my 30's yet. Spent most my twenties married though then two years purposefully single because I had never been single, so a lot of this is new to me.
Object_a Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Just to be clear, are you talking about moving to be with someone you met and ended up in a LDR with, or someone you met online? How much face-to-face contact has there been between you? How long have you been seeing each-other? I'd really caution against wrapping up your life and moving somewhere to be with someone you have not spent much time around in person.
waiting4u Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I wouldn't move unless you are planning on a serious long-term commitment and you have been with him for at least a year and a half. You should be true to yourself first. Is he willing to support both of you in case you have trouble finding clients in your new location?
amythan Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I have moved to a different country twice because of my ex-bf. The first time we were not even together , the second time was three years into our relationship. For me the key was to know that if it had not worked i would be fine anyway, I wouldn't regret. The first time I had a job there and the second time i already wanted to leave the one i had and i was pretty confident in finding something quickly, and I had savings. And of course, I liked both places even if i had to finish there on my own. 1
todreaminblue Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I might be moving soon. I'm a little scared because my work is very much built up through personal relationships and networking. Especially since I do not look like the typical trainer and my reputation needs to spread for what I can do and what I can do for people -- and getting programs startedto teach children can be a lot of gaining trust in the right places as well. But, it's a job. And he is great. And he makes much more money than I do anyways and isn't concerned about when I get set up again. And he is willing to adopt children, which I have wanted from the moment it became that I couldn't have any.... Any stories from yourself or people you know? Anything to consider? I have moved about six times because of a relationship........moving with kids is not fun.....three times it was interstate......it was hard because i left my family and friends.......if i ever had to do it again.........i would make sure that the person i was doing it for was worth the grief and sickness( i tend to have more signs of my mental illness when i move)....i get depressed and othe symptoms...maybe it was because its all i ever seemed to do ...is accommodate for my ex partner and i dont think it was ever really appreciated the work i put in.......it was expected i could handle it which i did ....but it was rough on me and on my family......deb 1
Crila16 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 My boyfriend is going through the exact same thing right now. Born and raised in Pittsburgh. I live in NYC/NJ. He has his own businesses/connections/real estate stuff that he has taken years to build. All his connections, money people, business, colleagues are there. He's moving to NYC area to be with me, because he knows my parents are getting older and he knows I can't be too far from them. He's giving up a lot to be with me...and it is greatly appreciated on my end. I love him, he loves me...and if it doesn't work for some odd reason, he can always go back...as can you. This is a new chapter in your life. It's exciting and not many people have this opportunity. I know you're scared (I've moved my life from Boston to NYC for a man one time, which is why I live here), but you will build a new life and have new experiences. You can always go back if you're unhappy. Give it some time. It's meant to be and it will be a good experience for you. Just remember, anticipation is scarier than the actual events. It will all fall into place like a puzzle piece. Good luck with everything. I know you'll be fine. 2
Author runningfar Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Just to be clear, are you talking about moving to be with someone you met and ended up in a LDR with, or someone you met online? How much face-to-face contact has there been between you? How long have you been seeing each-other? I'd really caution against wrapping up your life and moving somewhere to be with someone you have not spent much time around in person. We've been dating uhh 6 months? I don't know. I don't keep track. We were friends for a long time first. It's all been in person. We spend most days together when he wasn't traveling but do not live together yet. We would after moving, He got a very nice job offer in another city. Full paid relocation included. They're "buying" his house here.
Author runningfar Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I wouldn't move unless you are planning on a serious long-term commitment and you have been with him for at least a year and a half. You should be true to yourself first. Is he willing to support both of you in case you have trouble finding clients in your new location? Yeah, he's not too worried about my income... We talked about that. It took a very long time to get my income to where it is here by piecing together a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
JMCOSU838 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 It's definitely a difficult decision to make and I don't envy the position you're in. It comes down to how much risk you're willing to accept. One thing you could try is to determine what's the best thing and the worst thing that could happen in each situation. If you decide that the risk of the worst thing happening if you go with this guy is worth the chance of the best thing happening, then you should go. If you decide it's not worth the risk, you should stay. 1
CarrieT Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I quit a job and gave up a GREAT house to move for a relationship just a few months ago. But it was with the acknowledgment of an engagement and marriage and over 15 months of serious dating. 1
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