Papillon Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Mwahahaha.... "Moose" Hardcore! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cleancut Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 If she finds someone out there that is better than me well that is fate. If you love someone set them free if they don't come back it wasn't meant to be. If she doesn't love me enough to want to stay with me then I don't want her to stay. I think it is unnatural to be satisfied with only one person until you die. I also want to taste different fruits. Marriage should not be a compromise and we should not let fears of our spouse running off with someone else worry us. I just want her to be happy. Maybe tasting other fruits will help us to appreciate what we already have. Then there is no feeling of constriction. We are free to choose to be with each other, not because of vows or responsibility, but because we want to be. My wife is a good woman, and I love her for that. But I don't want her to be with me because she thinks she has made a contract and to break it would be wrong. I am not such a loser that she would dump me for someone else. I can hold me own against any man. And to be frank, I think I am pretty well endowed. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Heh, are you "Buffalo"? Tatanka!? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Good for you Cleancut.....my posts are only my opinions, I'm not saying that what I posted will happen. It's my opinion that temping fate is not a smart thing to do. You may well have faith in your wife that she won't leave you for another man......I never thought my wife would be the type to want to sleep with a woman either, and I didn't find that out until our 16th year together. All I'm saying is that anything can happen. If you want to leave yourself wide open for heartache, then that's your call. To me you're just inviting disaster. You used the saying if you love someone set them free.....for cripes sake.... you should've figured out whether or not you wanted to spend the rest of your LIFE together before hand. I think it is unnatural to be satisfied with only one person until you die. Then why in the world did you get married if you're not willing to be together until death do you part.....there's a reason that's in your vows.... I am not such a loser that she would dump me for someone else. I can hold me own against any man. And to be frank, I think I am pretty well endowed. Noone called you a loser. You can't tell me that your the wealthiest, best looking, and the most well rounded man on earth can you? Of course not. By the way, most men, think they're well endowed. And of course you can hold your own against any man. Any man can say that.......it's just how much of, "your own" is enough? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Originally posted by Moose Go ahead and add another couple into the, "Screw what marriage is supposed to be", catagory. Marriage is what you make it.......you define your own marriage, but shouldn't define someone elses. Link to post Share on other sites
loveregardless Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I'm gonna start calling my self "Melons" wait, that would be false advertisement, how about "hams", thats slightly more accurate. wait no that won't work either. i need an animal name that brings accross that i have a large ass. Babboon maybe. Yeah, call me babboon!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Marriage is what you make it.......you define your own marriage, That may be so for all of the non-believers , but shouldn't define someone elses. I didn't define anyone's marriage....... To those of us who believe..... GOD defined our marriages, why do you think us believers live so much longer? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I don't understand the way you quoted my post-did you write the part about non believers? Do you think that good christian couples can't be swingers? Or that non believer marriages are less? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Spock, sorrry about that, I edited it, it looks right now. Do you think that good christian couples can't be swingers? I think that if they are truly Christians, then no way should they be swingers. If they are, they need to re examine the scriptures. Or that non believer marriages are less? No, not less, just lost. Link to post Share on other sites
loveregardless Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 and the fact that christians use the bible as a basis for every behavior in their lives, it would not be possible for a "good christian" to be a swinger. to be a "good christian" you can't even have sex until your married, let alone cheat on someone your married to. thats a commandment. of course "good christians" think alot of interesting things, however christian or not i think that sleeping with people other than the person you are married to completely defeats the purpose of marriage. its fine, i don't care if anybody does it, but when i get married, it means im married and he's married to me- so we sleep with each other and that's it. otherwise you should just stay single or dating because thats really all it is if your sleeping with more than one person. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 You got it baboon, um....uh...I mean, loveregardless..... Link to post Share on other sites
loveregardless Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 there we go it's catching on already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cleancut Posted September 16, 2004 Author Share Posted September 16, 2004 I think when we enter into marriage we fully intend to spend the rest of our lives together. In other words are hearts are pure. But we are also young and naive. I was 22 when we married. My wife is 7 years older than I am. You think that when you marry you have found the person who is your perfect match. But people change as they age. I don't want to be together because it is convenient. I do love her, but I am not happy for some reason. I feel there is something missing. The passion is gone for one thing. I miss the feelings I used to have for her when I couldn't wait to see her; when we used to always be holding hands. Since our two children were born, we have no time for each other. I know I shouldn't say this, but the sacrifices we make when we have children are not worth it. I get very little joy when I am around them. For one thing, there is almost always conflict. I hate conflict. I want to live in a peaceful home, not with kids fighting and my wife getting angry with them and also venting her anger towards me. When I got married, I did not forsee this. I don't think anyone does. Also I feel that I am just growing older and I am not satisfied with my life. There must be something more. I really want to feel alive. I want excitement again. Maybe I agreed to let my wife have an affair because I feel it will free me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Letting your wife have sex with other men is fine if that's what you want and if it makes her happy. But you need to be satisfied with this lifestyle as well. If she is out having a good time and you are home and miserable that is a load of crap. I for one wouldn't want to be working all day to help support a household and living with a woman that is getting banged by other men, unless I was getting some action as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Well, now I'm getting a better view of what's really going on here. Cleancut, what you're going through is natural. This has happened to every couple alive who's had children. And the sad fact is, your life is the way it is, because you made it that way. Instead of letting your wife sleep around, try to fix these problems!! Here's just a few suggestions: Your want a peacful home? Work with your kids, set up a chore and respect chart. (I'm assuming that the conflict occurs between the kids mainly.) With that chart, clearly indicate what the punishment is going to be if they step out of the rules. Make them choose their own punishment, but remember to tell them that you have the authority to refuse their punishment, and make a new one, if it's not severe enough for the offense. Want your wife to stop yelling? You and your wife should also have chores on the chart for fairness, and also, because it eliminates the arguement that you or her aren't doing your share around the house. One of the respect rules on our chart is that we can't raise our voice at each other or the kids. (Of course, we don't have the same punishments as the kids, but we do feel the shame of disobeying.) Get some of those things under control man, then you'll see a new house. A lot of people say that what you look like on the outside is what you look like on the inside. I think a little differently. I believe that what you are inside, reflects what you are on the outside. Start right there in your home and your life outside of it will look better too. Then you'll begin to make life more of what you wanted. You'll be happier and you'll feel like doing more things again. It's just a slump you're in. Take control........it ain't over, you've got a long ways to go. Link to post Share on other sites
netrie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Sure. Most things are subjective and personal-based, but Moose has a point, and I can bet that statistically MARRIAGES that "allow" open and sexual exploring outside of the traditional committed union are headed for a dis-union. For some odd reason it seems that human beings have "emotions" and these feelings come into play, even when we try to repress them. However, if a man gets turned on by another man f__king his wife--well, then, that is his problem to deal with. Not mine. And not any of yours either. Be careful what you wish for... Why get married if you want to f__k other people? Sure, like many of your posts, I have had very weird fantasies too while in the act with my ex bf that he was with another woman (and he had been during our 2 month breakup). I would even pretend fantasy in my mind that I was the "other woman" and he was so hot over me. Lol. Humans! In reality, I think I was so turned on because he chose me over the others and I am much more sexy and beautiful---and I know it. It was a power-thing for me too. And I was aroused by it! He also told me that I turned him on so much that I had chosen him over all of the other men pursuing me. We both felt the same way. Yes. He is an ex for a good reason but nothing to do with that! Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
manofmystrey Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 cleancut I must applude u. U are speaking ur mind and u are comfy enough to allow ur wife to have sex with other men. This is my opinion and nothing more but i think what u are doing is playing with a loaded gun. Now that u have given her the permission to do it find and dandy and u are turned on by it, but what happens when the lust or excitment is gone? What happens when she hooks up with the wrong guy that may hurt her? What happens should ur childeren find out ask why mommy is with other men? Not sure how old ur children are. Seriously what happens when u are no longer comfratable with it? Will she stop, can u get her to stop. Its like a new toy when u get it u love it but after a few months u want ur old toys back. There are marraige issues that u have, but instead of saying go had with other men fix what is wrong at home. If she stressed do the venus fly trap on her that will take all her stress away and she will love u for it. Guess what i am saying is that u might want to rethink this whole thing. By letting her be with other men while u are caring for the children wont fix the issues u have as a family. Are u allowed to be with other woman? If so are sleeping with other woman? There is always more to the story that one is aware of, but this is just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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