venuss Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Ever since we stopped talking to each other I was not posting anything on FB but he has been replying to posts on his wall and adding friends. I was commenting on other friend's pic and adding friends, but today I posted a joke on my wall which I thought was really funny and my friends are liking it and replying to it. This joke has nothing to do with him/us. Will this matter in anyway? I know NC is mainly for self-healing but I really want to use it for ' distance makes heart go fonder', I feel that I want to be his friend (like I have said so many times before) and be able to talk to him. And I had really strong urges to call him from last two days but I resisted. From reading everyone's experiences I am not sure if that's a good idea!
iouaname Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 As long as you're not interacting with him on Facebook, I don't see a problem? You shouldn't have to stop living your life just because of him! In fact, becoming more active on Facebook might even make you feel better.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Ever since we stopped talking to each other I was not posting anything on FB but he has been replying to posts on his wall and adding friends. I was commenting on other friend's pic and adding friends, but today I posted a joke on my wall which I thought was really funny and my friends are liking it and replying to it. This joke has nothing to do with him/us. Will this matter in anyway? I know NC is mainly for self-healing but I really want to use it for ' distance makes heart go fonder', I feel that I want to be his friend (like I have said so many times before) and be able to talk to him. And I had really strong urges to call him from last two days but I resisted. From reading everyone's experiences I am not sure if that's a good idea! Are you going to be OK if he posts a pic of him kissing a new GF? Or changes his relationship status? If so, great...Many cant though...See some of the posts on here that CRUSH people when they see that stuff... My .02 TFOY
iouaname Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Are you going to be OK if he posts a pic of him kissing a new GF? Or changes his relationship status? If so, great...Many cant though...See some of the posts on here that CRUSH people when they see that stuff... My .02 TFOY She doesn't need to do that? She can just delete him or block him from her own Facebook and then continue to go on with her life and still use Facebook. I don't necessarily think deleting Facebook all-together is necessary. In my case, it would make me feel really isolated.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 She doesn't need to do that? She can just delete him or block him from her own Facebook and then continue to go on with her life and still use Facebook. I don't necessarily think deleting Facebook all-together is necessary. In my case, it would make me feel really isolated. True... I didnt see where she said she blocked him or anything...In fact she was commenting on what was on his wall, etc. So I assumed. TFOY
geegirl Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Ever since we stopped talking to each other I was not posting anything on FB but he has been replying to posts on his wall and adding friends. I was commenting on other friend's pic and adding friends, but today I posted a joke on my wall which I thought was really funny and my friends are liking it and replying to it. This joke has nothing to do with him/us. Will this matter in anyway? I know NC is mainly for self-healing but I really want to use it for ' distance makes heart go fonder', I feel that I want to be his friend (like I have said so many times before) and be able to talk to him. And I had really strong urges to call him from last two days but I resisted. From reading everyone's experiences I am not sure if that's a good idea! NC is for healing. Period. You implement NC because you are ready to focus on moving on. It is what helps you detach emotionally mentally. What you are doing is not NC. It's games you play to get the ex back.
Seachelle1 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 My ex and I had it out about 9 days ago (after three months no contact) and one of the things that came up was that we were both stalking each other online. We were looking at each others posts and hunting each other down on reddit. It wasn't helpful to me to know that he was still looking me up. I don't think it was helpful to him to know that I was looking him up. Since then I blocked him on facebook so he can't look me up anymore and I am not going on reddit anymore because he was there first and it's super important to him. He can relax knowing it's a zone that I'm giving solely over to him while we heal. Everyone is different though. What is good for you? Do you feel comfortable and like you're moving on if your ex cyberstalks you or if you see stuff about a new flame? Will you still be able to move on? This is about you. What is good for you? What do you need? What does your heart tell you? What are the physical reactions from your body when you see the pictures or think of it? Follow what your body and heart are telling you (that's what my therapist tells me). Be good to yourself and be kind to everyone around you. That's the golden rule I've been trying to follow (with limited success ) 1
Author venuss Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I was just asking if it's okay for me to carry on my usual FB activity that has nothing to do with him! Will that mean messing up NC? He never stopped using FB and none of his posts has anything to do with me. I am not sure if posting a joke implies that I have moved on! But I shared it cause I thought my friends will like it.
cavalier99 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I was just asking if it's okay for me to carry on my usual FB activity that has nothing to do with him! Will that mean messing up NC? He never stopped using FB and none of his posts has anything to do with me. I am not sure if posting a joke implies that I have moved on! But I shared it cause I thought my friends will like it. If your not looking at his stuff it is NOT breaking NC. But block him anyway. Are you secretly hoping he is looking at what you post ecetera? Good luck! Cav
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