Disillusioned Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" No wonder them girls are single, jeez! It's hard to relay a question in a jokey way, and I added "lol" which it was obviously meant as joke. What is wrong with these girls? Should I even bother replying? I always find these girls a bit of a challenge, i quite like it lol. So why did you even message her in the first place? Do you enjoy fishing for insults? 1
grkBoy Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" No wonder them girls are single, jeez! It's hard to relay a question in a jokey way, and I added "lol" which it was obviously meant as joke. What is wrong with these girls? Should I even bother replying? I always find these girls a bit of a challenge, i quite like it lol. I have to agree with others that you picked the wrong thing to joke about. Anyone who works with kids or is deep into kids will be protective. You calling them "brats", even in humor, will send the wrong message. Move on. If you really want to try with her, then apologize and try again. 1
wetdry Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I have to agree with others that you picked the wrong thing to joke about. Anyone who works with kids or is deep into kids will be protective. You calling them "brats", even in humor, will send the wrong message. I'd have to disagree with you in one regards: it's not simply about how or what he said. It's also about the rest of his profile. Basically, it's the total package. Imagine if it were a Brad Pitt looking guy who opened with that cold-call statement. I'm sure many girls would have fainted and completely overlooked any plausibility that the introduction may have been offensive. I think this girl wasn't offended merely by the introduction, but after perusing his profile without any remote interest but disgust and condescension, she decides to retort at him with a snooty snark. But I do agree with everyone's suggestion to him: Move on. There's plenty of fish out there.
grkBoy Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I'd have to disagree with you in one regards: it's not simply about how or what he said. It's also about the rest of his profile. Basically, it's the total package. Imagine if it were a Brad Pitt looking guy who opened with that cold-call statement. I'm sure many girls would have fainted and completely overlooked any plausibility that the introduction may have been offensive. I think this girl wasn't offended merely by the introduction, but after perusing his profile without any remote interest but disgust and condescension, she decides to retort at him with a snooty snark. But I do agree with everyone's suggestion to him: Move on. There's plenty of fish out there. Did the OP state she looked over his profile?
runningfar Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I love funny guys That wasn't funny. Having to say lol is usually a sign its not that funny... And it was not very on point messaging a girl who clearly enjoys kids insinuating you think they are brats. I suspect she is somewhere showing her friends your message and lamenting OLD. 1
Titania22 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 If you need to say lol or haha to let people know it's a joke, then it isn't a joke.
FitChick Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Anyone who works with kids or is deep into kids will be protective. You calling them "brats", even in humor, will send the wrong message. Not true. A friend of mine ran her own Montessori nursery school and she would have laughed. She liked her job because it was challenging and she made a very good living but it was also very stressful. When you work with young kids you are always catching their colds and flu. She had wanted to have kids of her own until she opened her school. She had her tubes tied instead. Dealing with the rich parents was no picnic either. However, having seen her in action, she was a great teacher and the kids responded to her more than their own parents. She married a man who didn't want kids and sold her school for a good price. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Not the greatest joke but I find it funny that she called you on poor conversation skills when most women I have encountered online couldn't carry a conversation if they had a script in front of them.
gaius Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 If a stranger approached you with the joke: "What must it be like to be a man, led around by your penis?" Does this make you want to get to know the person? It's got nothing to do with having a sense of humour and more to do with having some form of social tact. I would love to get to know someone like that. Who had the nerve to walk up to a complete stranger and be that forthright. I'm still in awe of pompom's thread criticizing cancer patients. Blackwalker, you did fine. Dating isn't about winning over every woman, it's about finding a mate that works for you too. Do you really want to be fake in order to please some girl who's face turns into a prune every time she hears a joke that isn't 100% sensitive or politically correct? You didn't insult her job, I don't know what some people here are talking about. I'd write her back and wouldn't back down with the humor if I were you. Don't put up with her nonsense.
dasein Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Didn't read whole thread. If she was responding to your question in that way because it was a one-liner type mail, that's legit. Women get tons of one-line mails OLD and must get tired of it. Have heard the complaint many times from women I've dated from OLD. Try to at least make a whole paragraph with 2-3 different points going forward. If she was throwing tude because you supposedly insulted her work, which you didn't in fact do, she's just another haughty princess to be avoided and did you a favor. Either way time to move on to other options. Don't let it discourage you. Good luck.
trevzilla Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I love all the people saying you blew it with the first message. The chick is a b!tch, you wouldn't want to date her anyway. Let some other unfortunate shmuck fall for her and enter a world of pain. People can be incredibly rude online because they are anonymous. They would never behave that way face to face. My advice is delete your account and just meet women the old fashioned way. OLD is heavily rigged in favour of women. You can get much better quality women in the real world. All OLD is good for for men is hookups with women you are barely attracted to. Sure people meet online, but it's just luck that some do. Guys overanalyze their profiles and messages, but truth is the deck is stacked against you unless you are extremely good looking and it comes across in your photos. I've come across plenty of inept women online who have terrible grammar, very terse profiles or just right 3 word messages and take 24 hours to reply; they make it almost impossible to come up with anything decent to write to them. I don't see much advice for them, because all they need to do is throw up a decent pic and write one sentence and the messages will come flooding in. Just google online dating for men and you will see pages of blogs and posts from very dissatisfied men, who all share the same experience of expending enormous effort for very little payoff. I hope that there is a backlash and men just withdraw from OLD and leave all the princesses to themselves and their crappy attitudes.
sillyanswer Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Should I even bother replying? No. If she thought you were hot your dig at her job would've been read as the funniest joke of the year. 1
kaylan Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) Ive gotten good replies out of girls saying worse than what OP said. What OP said is something Id say online or in real life. The girl just wasnt attracted to him so she decided to be snarky. Though Id have said rugrats, and asked if they can be bratty at times. Edited April 2, 2013 by kaylan
Emissary Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Well you shouldn't have asked if they're brats, it's her job so it's presumable she's a kid person and doesn't view them as such. However, she's still a bit of a bitch, if she didn't like what you said she could have just ignored your message, instead she went for sarcasm. She's not worth looking at again.
readytodate123 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 They are just bored I guess? Many users on OKcupid seem to be scam or suspicious anyway!! 1
Author BlackWalker Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Oh, and you are the expert on Online Dating etiquette ? Don't throw stones in glass houses. Hi, the quick reply button is rubbish on here, I can't post without quoting someone! Anyway, she didn't reply back after I messaged back to apologise. I don't care about that anyway, as I said previously in the thread, I've been exchanging messages with a girl on there who's a dental nurse. I joked with her first message saying "I bet you love putting people to sleep in the dental chair, eh? lol" and she replied with a positive message and said "you know me too well ;)" and took it as a laugh, unlike the other girl. This girl is actually better looking and she's actually more receptive and inquisitive, asking questions etc. I'm going to pursue this girl and see what happens. I asked her during messages what special talents she has, like singing, dancing etc, she replied "I can't sing or dance, but I'm a very good kisser ;)" so I'm just playfully flirting with her. Not sure why people on here are blaming my looks for that other girl being rude, but girls I've met have always said I'm good looking, but I only posted one face photo. I would post my photo up on here, but I can't trust people online as I've had other photos (topless ones) put over the net before.
yessy21 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I cannot believe you sent her that message. Brats? that just shows what type of human being you are. Wow. You need to become more detailistic before you go on writing to people.
ON MY OWN Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Those sites can be hard to do, have you tried Eharmony or Match.com? I think there are more serious people on them and they can introduce you to people more like yourself. Those sites provide more quality compared to the other free ones. Eharm has free holiday weekends that you can try out also. People in general on those are more serious about meeting a quality person. We are not all perfect and cant be expected to be so...but just remember to be honest but also put your best foot forward.
ON MY OWN Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 They are just bored I guess? Many users on OKcupid seem to be scam or suspicious anyway!! I agree, many are also looking for one night stands... Like they cant find that in the neighborhood they live in? They ruin the experience for many that are using it the correct way.
dasein Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Brats? that just shows what type of human being you are. And what "type of human being" would that be exactly? One who tries to make casual jokes? I think a reasonable interpretation of what OP sent would be "can they be bratty from time to time?" but it's more words. We live, unfortunately, in a world where people interact in 140 character chunks of shorthand, it is what it is, so IMO taking undue offense at such a comment would be melodramatic and unreasonable. Still suggest OP lengthens their OLD messages some to a paragraph.
gaius Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Hi, the quick reply button is rubbish on here, I can't post without quoting someone! Anyway, she didn't reply back after I messaged back to apologise. There was small chance of recovery if you stuck to who you were and didn't let her peck you into submission. Apologizing for doing nothing wrong is the absolute worst thing you can do if you're trying to stimulate a woman. You got a lot of bad advice in this thread.
tbf Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I would love to get to know someone like that. Who had the nerve to walk up to a complete stranger and be that forthright. I'm still in awe of pompom's thread criticizing cancer patients. Blackwalker, you did fine. Dating isn't about winning over every woman, it's about finding a mate that works for you too. Do you really want to be fake in order to please some girl who's face turns into a prune every time she hears a joke that isn't 100% sensitive or politically correct? You didn't insult her job, I don't know what some people here are talking about. I'd write her back and wouldn't back down with the humor if I were you. Don't put up with her nonsense.This isn't about faking it. It's about learning some social skills. He had one shot to make an impression. If belittling is his go-to tactic, then he did a fine job of showing her who he is.
Author BlackWalker Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 There was small chance of recovery if you stuck to who you were and didn't let her peck you into submission. Apologizing for doing nothing wrong is the absolute worst thing you can do if you're trying to stimulate a woman. You got a lot of bad advice in this thread. Did you read the bit after it? I am talking to another girl now anyway. Forget about the other one, her attitude sucked. Never mind if she took it the wrong way, she surely must have known it was meant in a light hearted way. Anyway, this new woman is 30, attractive, single, no kids, likes younger guys, it's absolutely perfect situation for me! haha.
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