Green Light Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Many women on OLD have zero sense of humor. Sometimes they will laugh if you make a "cute" joke that is completely politically correct.
Divasu Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I thought it was funny. Some kids can be brats. oops. 1
Green Light Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I thought it was funny. Some kids can be brats. oops. I agree, it was kinda funny, and I know some people with some awfully bratty kids, but the OP broke the most important cardinal rule of dating: "Every man must be as positive as possible at all times....Amen." B*tching and moaning is for after the wedding day.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I would have sent you the same message back. No offense but you completely screwed that up for yourself. She isnt a rude girl. You were just not all that swift. How about throwing out a NICE comment about what they do! You knocked what she LOVES. That MIGHT help you a little bit. Once you get to know them a little better and once they know you a little better, they will be more understanding of your humour.
Green Light Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I would have sent you the same message back. No offense but you completely screwed that up for yourself. She isnt a rude girl. You were just not all that swift. How about throwing out a NICE comment about what they do! You knocked what she LOVES. That MIGHT help you a little bit. Once you get to know them a little better and once they know you a little better, they will be more understanding of your humour. I would bet money that if he was "nice" in his first reply to her ad that he would have never heard anything from her. 2
KatZee Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Maybe you should just skip the jokes when you're typing these emails. You can't send your tone or way of phrasing what you're saying verbally though a text or any other form of computer communication. You're trying to take the funny and witty route but you're striking out, dentist joke wasn't even funny. "I bet you like putting people to sleep.. haha!" That's not even what a dentist does the majority of the time. You're coming off kind of ignorant about the occupations of these women. I wouldn't take an "lol" in response as thinking you got a hit either. And you definitely didn't do anything but insult the first woman and trivialize her job. Teaching disabled kids is a huge commitment, takes a lot of dedication, patience, experience, and it's hugely rewarding. To take jabs at it... grow up. Have a conversation like a mature adult, discuss her job. Don't insult it. 5
Mr_Flay Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 At least the field of dental medicine is rife with innuendos. "Hey baby, you can explore my mouth anytime!" There are also jokes about little pricks, but I wouldn't use them for this occasion.
tbf Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 OH, c'mon! Is it because you're a woman that you're putting all the blame on me? I am not trying to downgrade her job at all, it was simple remark said in a humoured way, but obviously she didn't see it like that. It's not like I said "So, I see you work with kids? that must be such a boring and awful job" I am not sure why people are pointing the blame all at me.If a stranger approached you with the joke: "What must it be like to be a man, led around by your penis?" Does this make you want to get to know the person? It's got nothing to do with having a sense of humour and more to do with having some form of social tact.
outsidethebox Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I noticed after I messaged her, that it says on her profile she works with disabled children as well as school children. Oops! I misread that, but In my defence, I was tired when I messaged her last night. Now that you have noticed this, I would send a short heartfelt sorry you didn't notice that and how much respect you have for the difficulty of the work she does. Even if she doesn't respond she will think a lot more highly of you. 2
Green Light Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Now that you have noticed this, I would send a short heartfelt sorry you didn't notice that and how much respect you have for the difficulty of the work she does. Even if she doesn't respond she will think a lot more highly of you. You may have just created a new PUA approach. Let's call it the "push-pull" approach. You insult a woman, she gets mad and snips back at you and then you come back at her all mushy and apologetic. She thinks "maybe I should give him another chance" and then BINGO! A date. Hey, at least the insult got your foot in the door! 1
greenetree Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I'm a private yoga instructor for people needing rehab. If you messaged me "Haha! You're job must be a real pain in the asana! LOL!" I'd either ignore or reply exactly like she did. You may think that you're being funny but actually both your jokes are very insulting to people who take their professions seriously. Especially if you are a caregiver of some kind...
tbf Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 If a woman starts talking about your balls without even having to buy her dinner she's a sure thing.No. It all points to how crass people can get. First impressions are extremely important, particularly in an online environment without any physical and social cues. What this guy is doing, is telling the women he's approaching that he will belittle them. Right out the gate, no need to connect. No thanks. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 No. It all points to how crass people can get. First impressions are extremely important, particularly in an online environment without any physical and social cues. What this guy is doing, is telling the women he's approaching that he will belittle them. Right out the gate, no need to connect. No thanks. Well, technically she did connect. Just not in a positive way. She probably should have just ignored the message.
ltjg45 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Don't reply. She sounds like she has a poor attitude and can't take a joke. The fact that she gave you that reply like that instead of just ignoring your message (if indeed she was offended) says volumes. A poor attitude? Hell, if a female told me that my time spent dealing with Yugioh was a colossal waste of time, I don't give a damn if she's right or not. She would get a mouthful for that crap.....or tell her to find a male who doesn't mess with Yugioh cards if she finds it so insulting. The response is quite appropriate esp. since he was trying to get her attention.
tbf Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Well, technically she did connect. Just not in a positive way. She probably should have just ignored the message.Doesn't matter if she ignored him or sent him back the inferred "you're an idiot" response.
Estate Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" No wonder them girls are single, jeez! It's hard to relay a question in a jokey way, and I added "lol" which it was obviously meant as joke. What is wrong with these girls? Should I even bother replying? I always find these girls a bit of a challenge, i quite like it lol. No, don't answer her. She can't get your humor so why would you think it could go anywhere. Having said that... it sounded like you were going down the "cocky/funny" route but basically insulted her... like most guys who just don't "get it" do with this approach. I mean, I'm a programmer by trade and I run with the jokes usually but sometimes it wears on me when people make the anti-social jokes, and that I must love star trek and comic-con and be hyper nerdy. I play along but it can get over bearing sometimes when people sound more like they are flat out insulting me. So to sum up... You're original message was poor. If you want to go for the jugular, say what you did. If not soften it up... don't just call them brats, use something softer and then make light of WHY. You also communicated you hated kids. And she's right... is this ALL you said? Not much of a conversation starter. She probably loves her job and just basically ****ted all over it. Her reaction was poor, that's a given but I think your attempt at starting a conversation was kinda sucky too. Constructive criticism is all....
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 A poor attitude? Hell, if a female told me that my time spent dealing with Yugioh was a colossal waste of time, I don't give a damn if she's right or not. She would get a mouthful for that crap. The response is quite appropriate esp. since he was trying to get her attention. If I get a message that offends me, I'm going to ignore it. Responding with a "hey, f-you too" message is lowering yourself to the level you allege you are higher than. If you want to be the bigger person, act like it.
ltjg45 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 If I get a message that offends me, I'm going to ignore it. Responding with a "hey, f-you too" message is lowering yourself to the level you allege you are higher than. If you want to be the bigger person, act like it. There is a time and place for everything. And, frankly, ignoring everything that pisses you off just for the sake of it hasn't did me any favors either. If the situation calls for it, they will get it. It's not like "being a bigger person" has any merit in this day and age anyway.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 There is a time and place for everything. And, frankly, ignoring everything that pisses you off just for the sake of it hasn't did me any favors either. If the situation calls for it, they will get it. It's not like "being a bigger person" has any merit in this day and age anyway. Learning to let things go has more benefits that keeping a sterling reputation. It also has to do with living a stress free life. Don't burden yourself with the problems of strangers on the internet who lash out at you. 1
ltjg45 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Learning to let things go has more benefits that keeping a sterling reputation. It also has to do with living a stress free life. Don't burden yourself with the problems of strangers on the internet who lash out at you. I wish I have seen these benefits because I have been ignoring everything that bugs me in any way for years. Yet here I am, still just as pathetic since high school while the ones that fight back is living better lives as a result of it.
greenetree Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 If I get a message that offends me, I'm going to ignore it. Responding with a "hey, f-you too" message is lowering yourself to the level you allege you are higher than. If you want to be the bigger person, act like it. There is a certain irony that guys get all angry that we never reply and now in this thread guys are complaining that she did respond. He deserved the response he got. Use it and this thread as constructive criticism and learn from it. Heck - if you apologized and came back with a nice compliment you might even salvage the situation. How a man reacts to criticism speaks volumes about his character. Or remain oblivious to how you're making the same OLD mistakes over and over, and eventually channel your lack of responses into nerd rage on message boards towards women and OLD... 4
dreamingoftigers Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I saw the humor. It's funnier when you aren't the intended recipient. And I get your tone. But honestly, I would think that the guy wasn't very thoughtful. Or really didn't have much of an idea of how to introduce himself. This is really one of those things that comes off better in person. I love humor, teasing, my H and I bug each other all if the time. We even crack racist jokes that are strictly about how ridiculous racist stereotypes are. My Somali friend loves it. She bugs us too. But for potential people at my college hearing it, oh man oh man....I would not try it there. Humor is one of those things that generally gets introduced after an introduction. You can show that you aren't a dope and then crack a couple jokes. Otherwise you just look like a dope, often. Luckily the Dentist could see the intent. But as a general rule I wouldn't walk up to a different student at my college and say something about their "year-round tan" (a weak example but only off of the top of my head). Jeepers, I can't imagine the response I'd get to that.... 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 There is a certain irony that guys get all angry that we never reply and now in this thread guys are complaining that she did respond. He deserved the response he got. Use it and this thread as constructive criticism and learn from it. Heck - if you apologized and came back with a nice compliment you might even salvage the situation. How a man reacts to criticism speaks volumes about his character. Or remain oblivious to how you're making the same OLD mistakes over and over, and eventually channel your lack of responses into nerd rage on message boards towards women and OLD... Look, my advice to women is that if you're not interested, don't reply. I'd rather be ignored than told I suck. At the same time however, I don't want to hear complaints about how many messages you get where the guy clearly didn't read your profile, and sent you half naked pictures of himself or overly sexual messages. You got some well thought out messages, and you weren't interested in the guy. So don't complain when you get bad messages. If you want dessert, eat your vegetables...
LexiB Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" What you said was borderline offensive. Had she been attracted to you (be it looks or some other redeeming element on your profile), she would have given you the benefit of the doubt for that. Your subsequent messages could have still killed it though. Computer-screen attraction only goes so far.
impendia Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Do you want to reply? Does she seem interesting? You had a bad attitude, she had a bad attitude back. But for better or worse, you now have each other's attention. If I were you, I'd write back and say something like "Yeah, you're right. I was trying to be funny but that was kind of lame." And then say something positive about her work, or ask her a question. Might not work, but this is OLD after all. Your chances of being blown off are high no matter what. 5
Recommended Posts