BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" No wonder them girls are single, jeez! It's hard to relay a question in a jokey way, and I added "lol" which it was obviously meant as joke. What is wrong with these girls? Should I even bother replying? I always find these girls a bit of a challenge, i quite like it lol.
Robman9911 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 You come across as very immature in what you wrote to her. Most men are usually on those sites. Men are very shallow and emotionally/intellectually retarded beings and its about time women start calling men out on it since you have oppressed us for most of our existence Yep thats how is sounded to me as well. Move on you blew your chance with, the terrible opening message. 6
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 You come across as very immature in what you wrote to her. Most men are usually on those sites. Men are very shallow and emotionally/intellectually retarded beings and its about time women start calling men out on it since you have oppressed us for most of our existence Immature? I asked her what it's like to work with kids. That's a perfectly fine question. How do you think I should start it off then? She hasn't exactly put much on her profile to ask about.
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Yep thats how is sounded to me as well. Move on you blew your chance with, the terrible opening message. What should I have said then FFS? It's a dating website, not an important presentation. Go on, I like the challenge of these moany girls.
Treasa Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Immature? I asked her what it's like to work with kids. That's a perfectly fine question. How do you think I should start it off then? She hasn't exactly put much on her profile to ask about. "So, what's it like working with kids? I bet all their energy wipes you out sometimes. :)" Or something like that. 8
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) "So, what's it like working with kids? I bet all their energy wipes you out sometimes. :)" Or something like that. Okay, well tbh, I messaged about 5/6 girls in that time, so I wasn't thinking too much about what to put. Still, no need for her to get all bitchy about it. I usually get positive messages back with a "lol" or something, yet she was all uptight. I guess the good thing is, she only replies very selectively according to her profile, so she replied to me! Edited April 1, 2013 by BlackWalker
Divasu Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Okay, well tbh, I messaged about 5/6 girls in that time, so I wasn't thinking too much about what to put. Still, no need for her to get all bitchy about it. I usually get positive messages back with a "lol" or something, yet she was all uptight. Yes, her response sounded a bit snotty. "Don't get snotty with me snotty girl, I'll give you a snotty slap." 1
sweetkiwi Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Yeah she took it a bit hard. Which means she's got a bad sense of humor or thinks yours sucks. I am pretty easy to get along with and yet I have taken things said on OLD a bit too seriously as well. It's easier after you've had some kind of conversation prior to mildly insulting her job. 5
mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 It was not your opening line that sounded immature, it was the next question of "are they brats"? Because calling someone a "brat", whether you are a kid to another or a kid to an adult or adult to another, is immature. Even if they are bad kids, you have to take another approach with it (and this is coming from someone who is a teacher, btw) : All of them deserve to learn, they are making a better choice to be in class rather than hustling on the street (even if they are little kids), and we will see what we will be able to get done today. Next time, ask someone something like "So according to your profile you (do this for a job). What is that?/What is it like?/I don't know much about that, etc." 3
StanMusial Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 It sounds to me like maybe you need to improve your photos. 5
KathyM Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Well, you've put down what she does for a living. She obviously loves children if she chose a career that involves children, and you've made it clear that you think children are annoying little brats that you would not be able to tolerate. Doesn't exactly impress her with that opening line. 7
Object_a Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 The joys of internet communication! You need to be really careful how you phrase things in your messages because without the benefit of tone of voice, body language etc. it's really easy for something you meant in jest to be misconstrued, as in this case. Chalk it up to experience, learn from it, and find someone else! 1
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Yeah she took it a bit hard. Which means she's got a bad sense of humor or thinks yours sucks. I am pretty easy to get along with and yet I have taken things said on OLD a bit too seriously as well. It's easier after you've had some kind of conversation prior to mildly insulting her job. I actually wasn't insulting her job, that's the thing. But this is what I mean, with online dating you can't actually say it in a way that someone takes it as a joke, unless you put "lol" or "haha" to make the point that you're having a laugh.
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 It was not your opening line that sounded immature, it was the next question of "are they brats"? Because calling someone a "brat", whether you are a kid to another or a kid to an adult or adult to another, is immature. Even if they are bad kids, you have to take another approach with it (and this is coming from someone who is a teacher, btw) : All of them deserve to learn, they are making a better choice to be in class rather than hustling on the street (even if they are little kids), and we will see what we will be able to get done today. Next time, ask someone something like "So according to your profile you (do this for a job). What is that?/What is it like?/I don't know much about that, etc." I noticed after I messaged her, that it says on her profile she works with disabled children as well as school children. Oops! I misread that, but In my defence, I was tired when I messaged her last night. 2
Sweetnothing Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 The problem with messages is that text doesn't convey tone. While it was clear to me that you were lightheartedly joking about the brat thing she clearly misinterpreted it to mean "I hate kids why would you subject yourself to that torture?" Women are mighty sensitive beings *eyeroll* I feel for ya. Try being a little more straightforward next time. You could say "what I meant was they must be a handful at times. You must be incredibly patient and sweet!" 1
Mr_Flay Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 If she likes kids, she won't appreciate a stranger calling them "brats". As people above me already mentioned, she must like what she does for a living. It's like saying to a serious athlete that he's just playing around with a ball. Once you get to know someone better, you can use in-jokes about what they do. When I still worked in a school, we teachers used to call kids "little $hits" and "****ing animals" among ourselves jokingly. Of course, such nicknames were reserved only for those pupils who gave us the hardest time. Had someone from the public heard it, our jobs would've been in serious jeopardy. 3
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 If she likes kids, she won't appreciate a stranger calling them "brats". As people above me already mentioned, she must like what she does for a living. It's like saying to a serious athlete that he's just playing around with a ball. Once you get to know someone better, you can use in-jokes about what they do. When I still worked in a school, we teachers used to call kids "little $hits" and "****ing animals" among ourselves jokingly. Of course, such nicknames were reserved only for those pupils who gave us the hardest time. Had someone from the public heard it, our jobs would've been in serious jeopardy. Yes, but those words are extreme. Okay, so I'm the bad guy, I get it now.
Mr_Flay Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Yes, but those words are extreme. Okay, so I'm the bad guy, I get it now. Come now, you're not bad. Just choose more appropriate jokes. Hey, I like morbid humour and rape jokes, but I'm very careful who I use them around. And she overreacted a bit, yeah. But that's only your first message, so no regrets. There are hundreds of women like her on that site. Use them to refine your approach.
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Come now, you're not bad. Just choose more appropriate jokes. Hey, I like morbid humour and rape jokes, but I'm very careful who I use them around. And she overreacted a bit, yeah. But that's only your first message, so no regrets. There are hundreds of women like her on that site. Use them to refine your approach. Okay, I might of sucked the first time, but another woman mailed me back just this last few minutes. I saw that one was a dental nurse, so I messaged and said "So, I bet you love putting people to sleep in the dental chair, eh ? lol" And she replied with a positive message and a "lol" so at least I didn't make anyone else mad haha.
tbf Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Did you notice how you reset back to the same tactic after striking out? Why is it so important to knock women's occupations before getting to know them? 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Basically, it said on her profile that she works with kids, so I messaged and said "Hi [her name], so what's it like working with kids? Are they little brats? I don't think I could do it lol" She replied with: "And that's you trying to make conversation? wow" No wonder them girls are single, jeez! It's hard to relay a question in a jokey way, and I added "lol" which it was obviously meant as joke. What is wrong with these girls? Should I even bother replying? I always find these girls a bit of a challenge, i quite like it lol. Don't reply. She sounds like she has a poor attitude and can't take a joke. The fact that she gave you that reply like that instead of just ignoring your message (if indeed she was offended) says volumes. 1
Author BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Did you notice how you reset back to the same tactic after striking out? Why is it so important to knock women's occupations before getting to know them? OH, c'mon! Is it because you're a woman that you're putting all the blame on me? I am not trying to downgrade her job at all, it was simple remark said in a humoured way, but obviously she didn't see it like that. It's not like I said "So, I see you work with kids? that must be such a boring and awful job" I am not sure why people are pointing the blame all at me.
StanMusial Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Okay, I might of sucked the first time, but another woman mailed me back just this last few minutes. I saw that one was a dental nurse, so I messaged and said "So, I bet you love putting people to sleep in the dental chair, eh ? lol" And she replied with a positive message and a "lol" so at least I didn't make anyone else mad haha. That seems even creepier than the first message. Why would you say "I bet you love doing your job" then laugh? Seems kinda dumb. Are you using fitness model pics or something?
curlygirl40 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 It's not that she didn't get the 'joke' it's that your 'joke' wasn't funny. Calling kids little brats to a woman who works with kids and probably finds it very fulfilling is not funny at all to me. It must be a demanding job, you could have gone that route instead of trying to be funny. 3
Drseussgrrl Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Yeah I agree not funny at all. Sorry but you struck out here.
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